To ask this of my neighbours?

[Donaldduck22]

I am on the autistic spectrum so sometimes I find it hard to know whether certain social things are okay. I'm going away for a week and need someone to come in daily to feed my cat and sort his litter tray would it be okay to ask my neighbour? I would pay her and tell her there was no obligation. I'm just a bit worried about having a stranger come in the house in case they Rob me. I suppose I could put my cat in a cattery but I know he would really hate it. I don't know my neighbour super well, on a chatty level we say hello and have a chat occasionally.

Some catteries are lush. Mine go to one that has duplex runs, so they can all stay together, they have a caged outdoor space attached. There is under floor heating and no way the cats can see the neighbouring cats. Their beds have heated pads if needed. They have a choice of tv or the radio to watch or listen too. Toys and blankets are provided, or we can take our own. Same with food. Medication can be administered if needed and they use a vet that I like if required. The runs are all equipped with sprinklers in case of fire, and the owners are on site overnight. Walls are all washable boards. There are at least three safety gates/caged areas before the outside is reached in case of escapes. I get daily text regarding their welfare and detailed notes are taken as to their likes and dislikes etc. I think they are going to be doing webcams? in the future.

it costs me more to board them, than it does for me to go away. They love it once they are there. They don’t get to go as often as they would like. But I know they are safe.

Get a cat sitter. Your vets may know some or google ones in your area and look at their reviews.

I def wouldn't just drop hints, personally have autistic traits myself, i never pick up on them. Just come out and ask me if you want something!

This seems like a good way to go about it. I'd hope your neighbour would offer to help.

I did that for a neighbour years ago, in my 20's. I knew nothing about cats, or her, but I didn't mind one bit. I can't remember if she brought me a little thank you thing, I didn't need paying for it.

We asked a neighbour a small favour recently, when on hols - just watering plants/greenhouse outside. We just bought them a bottle of wine and a small gift, which seems to be the going rate around here. Animals are probably with a bit more work though, so an offer of payment is fine.

Ask your neighbour! I can’t believe so many posters are horrified and squeamish about a bit of cat poop. It will be buried in their litter, and I am sure the OP has a scoop or something to use

I wouldn't dream of asking a neighbour, or even a friend, to clean out my cat's litter tray. None of them have cats or even pets so guessing there's a reason for that. I have a local cat sitter who, for £8 a visit, will happily do the job. There's plenty around.

Do you have anyone else you can ask?

I’m not chatty with my neighbours but I’d happily feed their cat for any of them.

However if you don’t trust her not to rob you then I think you’d spend the time worrying constantly about your cat and if she’s feeding it.

I think asking this, even with the offer of paying, would put you under some social obligation to return favours to her if she asks. Would you be OK to help her out with similar sorts of favours - pet sitting, watering plants, letting workmen in, maybe sitting in her house for a few hours while they are working?

If you could push yourself to try a professional, it would be the start of trusting them, and next time you wouldn't be faced with having a stranger in the house and you'd know this person hadn't robbed you. But I appreciate that would be going outside your comfort zone.

Why can't you ask around for a local cat sitter? We found ours on the local village FB group, she has a page, lots of good reviews going back a couple years, she had insurance, and she sends pictures every day.

There are several drop in cat sitters for £12 a day.

I wouldn't ask a neighbour I didn't know well.

See, IMO this isn't fair - and I say this as someone who is also autistic.

You're willing to put your cat in a position where he's so scared he soils himself, but you won't get to know a local cat sitter who can come and care for him in the comfort and privacy of his own home?

I get that it's really hard to have someone in your home and your space, but you need to prioritise your cat here. You know he'll be unhappy in a cattery so you need to put your own fears aside and pay a professional to care for him at home.

I think it depends whether your neighbour has pets herself, or at least knows what a litter tray entails. I would be fine to change cat litter, personally - I don't have cats but I like animals in general; I've picked up plenty of dog shit in my time and I wouldn't be bothered about emptying a litter tray. When I was teenager I used to feed and keep an eye on neighbours' pets all the time as an extra money earner in the summer.

I think it would be OK to ask her, provided you make it clear that you will absolutely not mind at all if she says no and that you understand a litter tray might be a step too far for some people so you won't be offended by a refusal.

There are professional pet services where they visit once or twice a day to feed cats. They are checked and aren’t likely to steal from you as it would ruin their reputation! They are also insured in case of anything. We have used one for years and they are also trained in cat health; they’ve taken our cat to the vet in the past when they’ve spotted that something hasn’t been right when we’ve been away. They also love cats so make a fuss of them. I wouldn’t ask a neighbour personally. Our cats also hate catteries. I had reservations at first but after seeing how much they hated the cattery we tried it and many years on haven’t looked back.

I would ask your local vet for a cat sitter recommendation. Some staff often do cat sitting for extra money, or they might have a list of cat sitters.

I agree with PPs that if you can't ask your neighbour and your cat really will be that distressed by going to a cattery, you absolutely do need to overcome your fear of strangers coming into your house to cat-sit. Use a professional agency. They will not rob you, not least because if they did, it would be really bloody obvious who the thief was.

I use a professional cat sitting service who is fully insured and dbs checked. She charges £16 for two visits a day. She came to the house before the first time she cat sat and asked lots of questions, took the vets name and met the cats. She’s local and lovely and I have used the same one for a few years now. I used neighbours and a colleague who lives near us but I prefer the professional service. She also sends me photos daily of the cats. I can really recommend it.

Oh and she also feeds my chickens

Well then you're cruel. Get a local cat sitter who does it for a business for gods sake. Look at reviews. They will not 'rob you' and your cat will be happy.

If my neighbour asked I'd feel obliged to say yes and would then be fuming. I'd never tell her though I'd just speak to her less. On your next chat can't you say you are going away but have no one to watch kitty so have been looking at a cattery. Neighbour will offer to feed kitty or will wish you luck and there's your answer.

I've asked my neighbour who I don't know well at all, but just for every other day to check water and keep an eye out, no litter tray to deal with. I haven't offered payment but will bring back.some duty free for her!

I have the keys to a few houses in my street. I'm more than happy to help out with cat feeding and don't expect any payment.

I don't have any animals myself, but it's never a bad idea to be on friendly terms with neighbours in case you ever need them to help with anything in return.

I'm really surprised by the amount of people saying it's unfair to ask.

I'd be delighted to be asked, especially if you said 'I trust you' and explained how you have on here. And I'm a dog lady.

It's not exactly unfair, but it could put the neighbour in an awkward position if they'd prefer not to, but feel obliged. It's not like the OP knows the neighbour well.

The other point is that there's no guarantee the neighbour will be around all week to do it.

The real issue here is the OP doesn't have an acceptable plan if the neighbour can't/ won't do it. I think it's cruel to put a cat for a whole week in an environment which you know it will hate and which will cause it stress.

I think it just has the potential to put people in an awkward position - they don't want to upset you by saying no, so they feel like they have no choice but to say yes.

I think it’s only acceptable if someone has offered to help, or if it’s a reciprocal arrangement.
I have two local friends who have cats, and we help each other out when away for a few days and we give each other gifts for helping when we return. I wouldn’t ask them if we were going away for more than 3 nights, it’s too much to expect of someone. So we use a local cattery when away for a week. What if the cat became ill or had an accident?

You can ask but make sure you say you’ll pay and also that you will make other arrangements if it isn’t ok. Some people are used to looking after cats. Others aren’t. I would expect gloves to be left for the litter tray though.