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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask this of my neighbours?

148 replies

Donaldduck22 · 22/06/2022 13:46

I am on the autistic spectrum so sometimes I find it hard to know whether certain social things are okay. I'm going away for a week and need someone to come in daily to feed my cat and sort his litter tray would it be okay to ask my neighbour? I would pay her and tell her there was no obligation. I'm just a bit worried about having a stranger come in the house in case they Rob me. I suppose I could put my cat in a cattery but I know he would really hate it. I don't know my neighbour super well, on a chatty level we say hello and have a chat occasionally.

OP posts:
Xmasbaby11 · 22/06/2022 17:41

I have a cat and a couple of neighbours and I feed each other's when we go away. However, we are sort of friends as well and our kids are friends. We don't exchange money but we give wine etc dependent on how long it is for.

When we can't cover it between ourselves, there is a friend's daughter who does it for £5 a day. We just asked around. It's a good job for a local teen (on next road) and the parent (who we know) can help if anything goes wrong.

If you don't have any friends who can do it, I think you should pay for a cat sitter. That would be my next option. I think a week is too long to ask a neighbour who isn't your friend. The litter tray will need emptying and it does get smelly in the summer months.

Lou98 · 22/06/2022 17:43

If I was your neighbour I'd have no problem doing it for you, I wouldn't personally take your money. I'd have no issue cleaning the litter tray either, I have 2 dogs and a baby though so used to cleaning up poo 😅

My MIL did it recently for her neighbour she doesn't know that well, she made it clear she could say no if she wanted but my MIL is a huge animal lover so she was happy to do it. Knowing her she'd probably have offered to pay the neighbour to let her do it 😂

There is no harm in asking - just make it clear that it's absolutely fine if she says no you just wanted to check

PoseyFlump · 22/06/2022 17:47

How about 2 litter trays and ask them to swap mid week putting the soiled one in the garden if people think it's too much to ask to clean it?

Washermother33 · 22/06/2022 17:47

Your cat is probably safer in a cattery . I always used to have friends feed my cat ( no litter tray) but one day they found him lying on the front step - he’d been hit by a car - so they ended up dealing with taking him to the vet too . I’ve never asked anyone to feed a pet while I’ve been away since - the vet visit was so much more than they’d signed up too

Baggyeye · 22/06/2022 17:56

What have you done in the past when you've gone away or is this the first time since having the cat?

Absolutely zero chance I would be taking on responsibility for your cat /cleaning shit for you but I wouldn't be upset if you asked (I'd probably worry I'd upset you with my resounding 'no thanks!')

Is there anyone else you could ask that you know who you also know likes cats who might help out?

PearlclutchersInc · 22/06/2022 18:03

Good that you can trust your neighbours. If you're worried though, is there a local pet sitting service who have professional insurance and experience if anything should go wrong.

WonderingWanda · 22/06/2022 18:03

It sounds like the cattery would be too traumatic for your . Ask your neighbour (do any of your neighbours own cats themselves?) and if they say no find a local pet sitter. Or speak to your vet about ways to help your cat with its anxiety. I'm lucky, I don't think my cat likes the cattery, he has a bit of a grumble about the car and the other cats at first but he loves the owner and is his usual nosey entitled self as soon as he gets there so I think he copes with it. He is prone to vanishing, getting stuck im sheds etc so i would worry too much leaving him at home.

Stoic123 · 22/06/2022 18:07

I'd do it for a neighbour and wouldn't mind the litter tray.

No harm asking but make it really easy to say no ("on the off chance would you be able to....? Please don't feel obliged, I can use a cattery" etc).

I'd offer money or reciprocal favours (water plants, put out bins, take in deliveries etc while away) as I wouldn't, personally, take money but would like a similar favour back.

tenterden · 22/06/2022 18:11

Why are you going away? Is it work or a holiday?

I have a cat with senile dementia, and various physical medical issues. I can only go away if someone he knows stays overnight. If I cannot arrange this, I cannot go.

It's the price you pay for their furry companionship.

ErickBroch · 22/06/2022 18:13

Fine to ask. Definitely offer to pay - they will likely say no but I would still pay them anyway and leave money out or post through door when home.

Wheresmywoolyjumpers · 22/06/2022 18:14

I pay someone to come in and feed my cat - since it is their business, they are bonded and have all kind of references so any problems would be a really big deal. You may feel more comfortable with this kind of arrangement?

Fenella123 · 22/06/2022 18:15

OP it is hard that your cat is upset in the car.

But if DCat gets ill or injured or lost while you are away, it could be bad for DCat, devastating for you, and horrible for your relationship with the neighbour.

And then you would be wishing that you'd engaged a qualified, insured petsitter or taken DCat to the cattery, soiled cat carrier or not :(

CaptainMyCaptain · 22/06/2022 18:15

I have emptied cat litter trays for neighbours before. It's not a big deal as long as the neighbour isn't pregnant.

HotChoc10 · 22/06/2022 18:28

I'd happily do it for a neighbour and wouldn't care about the litter tray - I would see it as a way get to know my neighbours better.

Libre55 · 22/06/2022 19:52

I like cats, but do not want to empty litter trays. My neighbour had an emergency so I stepped in to feed and clean the litter tray. It was during a hot period last year. The smell made my eyes water.

eurochick · 22/06/2022 19:59

We did this for neighbours before we had a cat. I didn't particularly enjoy it but it was fine. I did it to be neighbourly. They didn't pay us but did bring us a gift back.

Original poster
Donaldduck22 · 22/06/2022 22:27

Thanks everyone. Now I've thought about it more I think it's too much to ask someone who I don't know super well, I don't know if she's got a cat. I've asked someone who has a cat sitting business just have to hope she doesn't steal from me.

OP posts:
minionsrule · 22/06/2022 22:34

You say you don't really know your neighbour, what makes you think you can trust her? If something went missing you would be in an awkward situation.
On that basis you are probably better trying to find someone advertising as a cat sitter, they should have reviews..... Facebook is usually a good start

Talkingtopigeons · 22/06/2022 22:46

If someone has a cat sitting business and that is their income, they are less likely to rob you because if they did, it risks losing their entire income (eg due to bad reviews)
Knowing your neighbour to say hello to doesn't mean that you know anything about their likelihood to steal from you.

I would suggest asking around if people can give personal recommendations, eg about someone they have used themselves not just someone that they know. Then check if that person is actually set up as a business &if they have insurance.

We did this when we went away and my MIL wasn't available to house sit (something she usually does when we go away) The cat lady loved cats and it was great because she would spend more time with them than we paid her to (just because she enjoyed playing with them/petting them) and she sent us video updates!

JaceLancs · 22/06/2022 22:54

I would do it for free for a friend
For someone who lived near me but I didn’t know well - I would probably do it for a small fee
when my DC were younger but still old enough to be responsible they would have been happy to do this to earn extra pocket money - are there any teens near you?

lljkk · 22/06/2022 22:54

Can you hide your valuables? Were you victim of burglary or theft before?

I can't understand cleaning litter tray as an extreme thing to do or ask of others. It's zero big deal to me (& I'm pretty squeamish). I've done this in past & teen DC would do it comfortably.

WishILivedInThrushGreen · 22/06/2022 22:57

I'd use a cattery.

MushyPeasPrincess · 22/06/2022 22:57

Donaldduck22 · 22/06/2022 22:27

Thanks everyone. Now I've thought about it more I think it's too much to ask someone who I don't know super well, I don't know if she's got a cat. I've asked someone who has a cat sitting business just have to hope she doesn't steal from me.

If it's her business, of course she won't steal from you. Because it would be so sodding obvious who it was and because it would ruin her business.

Where on earth do you get the idea that a professional who makes their living from visiting peoples houses and having clients review them for their service would also be likely to be thieves? Just bizarre.

TimeToChangeItUpNow · 22/06/2022 22:58

We use a pet sitting company. We always get the same person or the owner. It's absolutely fine. We do have a camera in the room where they are fed to see the cats but we told them about it and don't hide it.

PoseyFlump · 22/06/2022 22:59

@MushyPeasPrincess I think the clue may have been in the OP

I am on the autistic spectrum so sometimes I find it hard to know whether certain social things are okay.

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