To assume lots of people are finding life a bit shit at the moment? Or is it just me?

[TheCatIsBack]

I feel completely flat at the moment. I'm wondering if I'm depressed, or if it's just that life in general is a bit shit for everyone at the moment with cost of living stuff and COVID stuff that maybe actually what I'm feeling is normal?!

Is it just me, and should I get some help, or just roll with it and know that it's a fairly universal thing just now?

I don't want to be tone deaf but probably people who are feeling OK are reluctant to post on this thread. Life's not perfect and obviously I can't avoid certain price hikes but I work (part time) in a job that I love ... in retail so I am meeting people all day long and interacting with my lovely team. I am involved in a volunteering role which I find really rewarding. I have lots of friends and haven't noticed them 'falling by the wayside'. I am deliberately not booking an overseas holiday - can't face the chaos - but will enjoy a couple of short breaks in this country.

It does feel like there is a never ending series of shit things happening. I don't know if that us true or maybe just the backdrop covid stops us from being able to have a bit of down time/time free from worry.

But. I tell myself that MIL passing away is entirely unrelated to the electrician nightmare in the living room, also unconnected to actual covid, and unconnected to DH work stress, unconnected to DC injuring themselves...

It is easy to think everything is connected when there is always another thing coming. But they aren't connected.

I try to stay positive and figure that life is life, all this shit and nonsense as well as the good and happy stuff and the boring mundane stuff we forget about.

Not sure how helpful this is. But you aren't alone OP.

I'll bite. I'm doing well. My bills are fixed at the moment so cost of living not biting.
I'm feeling better than ever about Covid now the restrictions are gone and we can live normally again. I'm lucky not to have had it nor lost anyone to it. I realise that's not the case for many people.
Also, it's summer and that's always good for me.
Hay fever is a bit of a downer and I have no holiday plans, but otherwise it feels good to be able to walk around outside without a cold wind in your face.

My entire life has crashed down around my ears in the past 2 years. I have given up hope now of ever fixing it. Most of it is not in my control.

I feel good at the moment- if I ignore the big picture. The sun is shining, I feel better and more free than I have done in a long time from covid restrictions. We have enough of a buffer that price rises have not bitten yet.

However, roe v wade, Ukraine, cost of living rocketing and people suffering, climate change. The big picture feels bleak. The future doesn't feel bright.

I was but we had a family holiday in the sun at Easter and it gave me a boost. Even dd1 age 14 said after the holiday that she hadn’t realised how low she was until the holiday as she came home and said she felt so much happier. I’m still not 100 % but that’s probably uncertainty at work.

@Tabbouleh I’m really sorry to read this. I hope things get better soon for you xx

Thanks @NeedAHoliday2021 its my DD's chronic illness that has got ten times worse in the pandemic when it combined with long Covid, and had a sort of domino effect on everything else. DH is also working all hours to pay for unforeseen expenses as a result of this. Sending love to everyone else who is having a hard time too.

Didn't mean to be Debbie Downer and kill the thread. Sorry!

How do I fix a stroke? Tell me how I live without hands that work???? Without hobbies or the ability to walk??? And that is before getting to grips with covid fall out!!

I feel sad that my children are growing up in a time when everything feels a bit broken. Brexit, Covid and Russia invading Ukraine is a terrible combination

But, I try to take one day at a time, relish the sunshine and be grateful for what we do have / can do. I definitely have less enthusiasm for socialising

For those asking about the friendship thing, for me it has shown itself in all of us (myself included) being a little flaky about arrangements, less likely to put ourselves out. The old thing of 'go and you might find you enjoy it' has gone out of the window. Unless you really want to go, it's easy to say you aren't feeling it now, and just not show up. I have lovely friends but covid has just knocked our resilience and sense of duty away.
A friend had a party recently , 80 people RSVP with yes they were coming (it was at a hired hall) on the day only 30 turned up, with lots of on the day WhatsApp messages saying they weren't feeling it, or just couldn't etc etc
The thing is, it's hard to talk about on here without people jumping on and explaining how they have all these reasons why they might drop out with late notice (all valid)
People are not horrible, but pre covid this flakiness was bad form , now it has been normalised. I am not slagging anyone off or suggesting that people with genuine reasons shouldn't have them, I am saying that Covid is a bit of a smokescreen for verging on poor social etiquette. It adds to feeling lonelier as you may arrange something with full knowledge that your friends may pull out at last minute

@waveyourpompoms Most of us want to believe that's true, but it's not always so simple

@Tabbouleh in my experience chronic illnesses are awful because people are sympathetic initially but that fades. It’s not because they don’t care they just feel helpless and life is busy. People do want to help though so be direct about what you need. Sending love to you and your family. Parenting is hard but even tougher with a child with a chronic illness. Be kind to yourself.

Covid and the policy response to it have worsened inequality too, which doesn't help.

In answer to the OP, I don't find life shit but I find that my energy has been sapped. It's like tiredness, but different. And I think that's down to the experience of the past couple of years. Lockdown stole a lot of my resilience.

Weirdly, at least weirdly to me, I realised this evening that I am clinically depressed for the second time in my life (last time was 25 years aģo). Its strange because whilst I've just come through and incredibly tough 2 years, things are actually getting back on an even keel now, yet its now the depression has hit rather than when I was in the thick of it. Will make a doctors appointment tomorrow.

I've seen a lot of people mention that they've hugely reduced their news consumption during and after covid and I wonder if it's significant enough that we might start seeing a shift in the style of news reporting. Over the last decade I've felt the news has been getting more and more sensationalist and doomy as print newspapers struggle to compete with online media and online media struggle to make any money, but perhaps we're approaching a point where they've pushed it too far and everyone's completely panicked out. A bit like how some people feel the main reason Biden won in 2020 waa because people were desperate for a return to overall normality, and Trump represented the opposite. It'll be interesting to see if the media start reining it in and/or posting more positive stories in an attempt to retain viewers

Thanks @NeedAHoliday2021 that is exactly what it is. The helplessness. But I have another thread on this so I musn't take over this one as well.

Porcipineintherough sorry to hear that. I think that's the way with difficult experiences sometimes - when you're in the middle of it you're fighting so hard just to get through each day that you almost don't have a chance to feel depressed. It's only when you manage to get a bit of space to take stock of things, combined with maybe discovering that the light at the end of the tunnel isn't living up to all you imagined when you were pinning all your hopes on it, that the reality of everything you've been through finally has a chance to sink in. I hope the appointment helps.

I get a lot of courage from a fact I once read, that if you are generally a content/happy person, when bad things happen and you feel sad, you will go back to the same level of happiness/contentment eventually

Like a set point

I am also very grateful for my friends and all the people I love in my life

And I am trying to be honest with myself about which things matter: no holiday abroad , again, this year, but that's just small stuff really. A holiday abroad is a luxury, and not "much needed" or such nonsense. It's a "would be nice" and maybe we can go again next year

Sorry to hear that @Porcupineintherough

My message must seem a bit crass after yours

Hope you get back on an even keel again soon

Not at all @SimonaRazowska I hope it's true

Frankly it is shit. Dh has had a major job change so less money and shift work so that's a worry as I can't think about changing jobs or doing less hours. Ds is needing to fly the nest and dreading that.
My eyesight is failing, my Df has developed dementia and my bestest friend has cancer.
I can't even think about the big picture stuff. I just want to weep.

I have just gotten out of a slump. Last week was particularly hard where I felt I didn't have energy to change out of my pyjamas even. Luckily DP just left me to wallow in my sadness, and I seem to have come out somehow better today. I even went for a long walk. I've had a rubbish year, dealing with grief, and news being so soul crushing.

I do believe Whatever we're going through, things do getter better eventually.

Life is quite shit at the moment. My close friend moved away so we only text occasionally. Other friends never bothered much to meet up. There's work that needs doing in the house and I've been desperate to change some things round but money is tight and already dreading the energy hike later this year. Fridge is also slowly dying.

DC1 is struggling with MH since lockdown and currently anxiety levels are sky-high and hating school. DC2 is also showing signs of ASD and I wish life was easier for both of them. They deserve a holiday (as do I), but won't be going anywhere for a long time.