To assume lots of people are finding life a bit shit at the moment? Or is it just me?

[TheCatIsBack]

I feel completely flat at the moment. I'm wondering if I'm depressed, or if it's just that life in general is a bit shit for everyone at the moment with cost of living stuff and COVID stuff that maybe actually what I'm feeling is normal?!

Is it just me, and should I get some help, or just roll with it and know that it's a fairly universal thing just now?

I think its this country. It seems to be that we can do less and less things that future generations used to do (for instance my parents had a second home, DH's parents have a holiday home in abroad) and it costs more and more. Working life is harder than it used to be, tax is higher, costs of getting to work are higher and the guilt trips on the ordinary taxpayer to support the people who don't contribute seem too much to bear at times. Now even a holiday in my own country (Scotland) is super expensive and travel by plane seems to be a thing left for the time being. Everything is increasingly regulated and licensed and local authorities seem to be out to "get" citizens, rather than simply performing their functions.

I feel stuck in a rut after the pandemic. I've got a two year old and an older daughter, and feel as if I haven't learned how to be a parent in a 'normal' environment. And that's going to stay harder with costs going up.

Interested in a PP's question, whether those WFH might feel worse. I mainly WFH and, although going into the office is more tiring, time consuming and expensive, I do find it gives me a refresh / change of routine which I really need. I'm incredibly lucky that I can go in to the office only once a week so get the best of both office and WFH worlds...

@AchatAVendre your post hits the nail on the head for me. We are doing well financially but we have had to sacrifice more and work far harder and longer than either of our parents have.

We were all told to study hard and then work hard, and then everything would work out and we would have a good quality of life. But it was all a lie. I have friends working 50+ hour weeks and still no closer to being financially stable.

I have come to accept that each generation (obviously not the 1pc) will see a decrease in living standards and it has been a hard pill for me to swallow. I sometimes feel overwhelmed with guilt for bringing my children into this world.

I've got the threat of universal credit hanging over me. I dread the day that brown envelope arrives. I will be much worse off as I only work PT as I need to keep an eye on my 13yr old and her MH / school refusal.

I feel generally ok but admit that I have become the flaky friend that only contacts you if you contact me first. I’m just prioritising my own needs. I feel I need more time to myself and more freedom to set my own schedule than I used to: It isn’t personal.

So what helps me apart from this?

I keep a notebook where every morning I write one thing that I am grateful for. Sometimes it’s something simple like a decent mug of tea!

I engage with the things that concern me. I teach kids about gardening / climate activism in my spare time, and whilst I’m not a member of a political party, I’m always writing to my MP.

I’m also planning to leave the UK once my kids have gone to Uni, and that involves an additional professional qualification and improving my language skills. The UK is truly f**ked under the constant Tory / right wing governments and don’t trust the public to see sense. I want to eventually retire to somewhere with more emphasis on quality of life that’s more aligned with my values.

Sorry to state the obvious here but have you spoken to your GP? (If you can get through!) You shouldn’t be suffering for such a prolonged time.

Sending you a hand hold 💐

I could have written this. I feel like I have no friends left and agree that people are more selfish and don't want to engage as much

I was surprised in a good way that we are all back to normal now, I did wonder if the day would ever come…

We have all been through a testing time, you might need more time to process it all op.

I snapped back and could mentally feel I had returned post pandemic, to my old self, back to strength in March. Feeling optimistic. Making plans etc. Others were earlier or later.

I tend to focus on just the moment, I don’t allow myself to fret about the winter or what is coming next. It might turn out better then we expect, and we will have ruined the summer stressing about things we can’t change.

I decided if the families in Ukraine can picnic and play in the parks in the sun, even with their terrible suffering and everything that is happening to them, then I should be doing at least the same. Doing two things for myself every day has also helped. Today I had a relaxing bath rather than a rusted shower and a delicious dessert.

we have to take care of ourselves, no one else is going to!

Funnily enough WFH is awful for me, but in my industry all jobs are remote/hybrid now. My 1 day a week in the office, wearing nice clothes and make-up and talking to colleagues and going out for lunch, is my favourite. I hate sitting at home on my own.

Me too.
I have very few moments of genuine happiness at the moment, which is not like me. Usually, I am a real glass half full optimist but I think the effects of the last two years are really now taking their toll on a lot of people.

The friendship and loneliness stuff really resonated with me . I feel really lonely

All these posts are so relatable. I feel weary and stressed all the time. Constantly fretting over money and I'm on SMP now so things are even tighter than usual. My husband is picking up bar shifts at the weekends to make ends meet.

It's bleak. The things that bring me joy - my children, being in nature - are also capable of making me feel desperately sad when I think about what the future holds.

I also feel like my friendships have suffered. I have neither the time or the money to socialise, especially with friends who live further away, and when I do manage to see people I find myself awkward and anxious.

Telling myself that things will get better but I'm struggling to convince myself these days.

People who say their friends have become more selfish, what do you mean exactly? Like more self-absorbed and not willing to listen/make time for you? I haven't noticed much change in my friendships and hoping that doesn't mean I am that person 😬

I don't usually like to socialise much, but I have been making more of an effort after lockdown, even I began to hate being so isolated after a while. I've been accepting invites to lunch/events with kids and asking people if they want to meet up more often too.
I've started to make regular hair and nail appointments too, something I never used to bother with (apart from the odd trim here and there), but it does make me feel a lot better.

I was wondering the same. Friendships come up over and over again.
Did your friends not stay in touch over lockdown?
did you realise you were doing it all?
Reevaluate what they bring to your life?
what happened to friendships?

I have experienced probably most of these things, but I have come to the conclusion that most people are trying to be good friends/doing their best so unless you have just discovered a true CF in your midst then why not let it go and see how it works out?
you don’t need money to see friends that is an excuse, but you do need the inclination. I would be worried if I stopped wanting to see my friends, knowing that is a very dark place if you genuinely feel that way (and it’s not just exhaustion/ too many demands) it might be time to see the GP

I drive past the only rural petrol station on the way to work. I deliberately don't look at the petrol price because watching it jump up every day just made me feel rubbish.
No public transport round here means if I don't drive, the kids don't get to school and we don't get to work. We are at £1.99 per litre at the moment.......

You are not alone everything is such a effort for little reward

definitely turn off all forms it news. Even on line. This made an enormous difference to my happiness levels. I realised the incessant doom and gloom was really getting me down.

It’s crappy for a lot of people, we are OKish but obv we use fuel, eat so are noticing the rises. But at least we are both back to normal working, kids had a full year in school. It could be a lot worse.

for me though it’s not as bad as spring 2020, nowhere near with furlough, job uncertainty, everything shut including schools, those bloody awful briefings, the slides of doom and hideous death tolls. I’d rather be here than back then. As long as we don’t get any more lockdowns or places closing I’ll be quite happy.

I have also really cut back on the news. I’ve always been a news hound but I minimise it now.

Yes. I’m still wfh which I don’t like. I used to work in a busy office in a city centre location, lots of socialising, after work drinks etc. Call me sad but I enjoyed the ‘morning rush’, getting the bus, my first coffee at my desk, chatting to my lovely colleagues. It’s all gone now. Sitting at my laptop in joggers just isn’t the same.

No holiday, cutting back, no friends, no outings, dull and predictable working to live.

Lots are too, however, going by the queues at the airports lots can still afford holidays and other luxuries, fake nails, tats, lashes and hair extensions etc, either they earn a fortune or ramping up the credit

It's the fact lockdown is finally over but socialising is now too expensive because of the cost of living crisis. What we all needed after the lockdowns, and what used to be relatively cheap, is now expensive and out of reach for those that need it most!

We are still facing restrictions - financial ones 😞

I have suffered anxiety since menopause. Right now I just feel overwhelmed. Covid and restrictions, worrying about elderly (or just older) loved ones getting ill. The cost of living crisis, we are trying to remortgage and I’m scared what will happen with that next year.
Climate change and the world my children will grow up in.

Honestly if I had a button I could press and I could just go to sleep and not wake up I’d be seriously tempted.

All we can do is seize the joy in every day. There is always hope. And really, our lives now by the levels of much of human history are incredibly privileged. I try to practise gratitude for what I have, avoid news/social media, and get out in the fresh air.

Absolutely crap right now.

We've worked hard as a family to earn decent money and as a PP has said we just keep getting poorer.

Family relationships have been strained since lockdown. Can’t even work out why. Things just feel so wrong.