To assume lots of people are finding life a bit shit at the moment? Or is it just me?

[TheCatIsBack]

I feel completely flat at the moment. I'm wondering if I'm depressed, or if it's just that life in general is a bit shit for everyone at the moment with cost of living stuff and COVID stuff that maybe actually what I'm feeling is normal?!

Is it just me, and should I get some help, or just roll with it and know that it's a fairly universal thing just now?

@PoleFairy I think you're spot on with languishing. I feel like I'm slipping towards depression due to shit job and financial worries... There is definitely no joy.

Things do seem rather bleak at the moment don’t they? I know DH and I are both feeling it at the moment. We’re both working flat out, bills going up, climate change etc etc…. and there’s just no end in sight.

Yes, but for me it’s mainly infertility, recurrent losses and climate change and mass extinctions. Plus the declining democracy and rule of law in the UK. Covid am mostly over it and cost of living we are fairly lucky to be able to cope and still be ok although they add to the general vibe of everything going down the shitter.

You’re not alone. It seems that no matter how hard we work we’re just getting poorer and poorer.
I cope by spending as much time by the sea and in nature as possible. we have merlin passes that cost us £40 a month so we try and use them as much as possible and take a picnic. This keeps our 2 teens entertained and gives them something to look forward to.
I think making plans will keep you and the older children going. Even it’s for 6 weeks time at least it gives you a bit of ‘light at the end of the tunnel’

I'd say I feel totally numb at the moment.
I kept very upbeat through tge 2 years of covid measures, but I think it's hitting me now what we've all lived through.
The cost of living crisis is bleak and a big worry - not in terms of my own finances, but in terms of what shape society is going to be left in if it continues.
I also started a new job in December , with a terrible onboarding process that meant I had a very stressful couple of months getting settled.
Dad was diagnosed with cancer at Christmas.
My DH is retraining and we're staring down the barrel of it being a difficult process for him to enter a new industry.
And finally, having been the driving force behind all friendships for several years, I'm done with what a useless bunch of fuckers everyone is and have taken a step back - and my social life has nosedived somewhat as a result!

I feel very lucky that life is good for us now. We both worked through covid so that didn't really change our lives in any way. We have no children at home so just two of us. Even on just above minimum wage each we have a comfortable life. Helped by the fact that my DP is still working and gets state pension. I really feel very lucky. I can see how some people are struggling.

You see from the thread lots of people agree and I do a bit OTOH this thread is less likely to get people who are ok or feeling good at the moment. It might just feel strange posting about things being good if others are feeling low.

I think what you do depends on how it is affecting you. Can you do the things you need to do? Do you enjoy anything? Do you manage to speak to friends and do you eat as healthily as you normally do?

@ImplementingTheDennisSystem Tell me about it with the whole friendship thing. I sometimes think what the hell is wrong with people 🙈 and I'm not a demanding person. Just get fuck all back not even a reply to a text, not even a late response just nothing. Friendship is a two way street, one person can't keep it going on their own can they.
Really sorry to hear about your dad x

Not just you! I have always had sound mental health, but am feeling low some days, angry, resentful and restless on others. I am questioning how much worse it will become, how will it impact on our kids etc. I am generally a positive person, yet I’m much more conscious of the little things that make me smile and am trying to focus on those. I feel an overwhelming resentment towards the government, on a local and national level. I recently spent a day in France/Begium and felt truly envious of how beautiful their countries looked (in fairness, it was a small snapshot that I saw), but the contrast was stark when I arrived back in Dover. I just can’t see an end to it, I truly question the point in working!

Implementing
There has been an increase in posts regarding disappointing friendships. At the beginning of this year I sieved out several 'friends' who only contacted me after I contacted them or only met me when I initiated and did all the arranging. This means two/three people have dropped out of my life - feel better for it. It is a shit feeling knowing you are chasing others to give you their time. It knocked my confidence so I had to take action.

Not alone, I am dreading the next gas/electric increase, had to speak with my provider today and have a low level feeling of panic. I basically need to earn more money but am knackered doing what I’m doing now.

No. Life is ok. Actually it's good. But appreciate that for many is has got tougher.

The friendship thing has been a major issue for me too. I think I'm getting over it, but other times I feel like I've got "I'm vulnerable and lonely" flashing above my head.

I note that one poster says it's hard having friends who are childfree and okay for money and that's interesting because it hadn't occurred to me that some people might feel angry with me for that. (I mean the childfree bit, I keep my finance info to myself).

Yes. It's hard to recover from the pandemic (and plenty of covid cases still happening of course) with Brexit and the government corruption and the cost of living crisis. I am dreading this winter people will starve to death or freeze to death it is absolutely crap.

Yeah, my mental health has just been terrible since Covid and never recovered. On paper everything’s fine, have a good job, nice husband, hobbies up to my neck, good circle of friends. But just always feel negative and like everything’s really pointless and life’s just sleeping, working and doing dishes repeatedly. The things I used to enjoy (nights out) now leave me out of it for a week, I seem to need 9.5 hours sleep to feel human - which isn’t possible most nights. Everyone around me is popping out kids so I feel under pressure to do the same from my backwards family, even though it would be my absolute worst nightmare.

We bought a house we’d been saving for for 5 years - I don’t like it as it’s too far from town and too suburban, but we’re locked into a 5 year fixed mortgage. Actually prefer our old 1 bed flat in the centre of town. Can’t enjoy the garden because the kids screaming next door set my teeth on edge. Seems like I always want the “next step” that will magically make me happy, but when I get there I’m still miserable!

Feeling a bit meh as well.
Work is very challenging, house is falling to bits (or so it feels) I lost my.mum in March and like others friendships are dwindling.

There has been little to be joyful about but much to be thankful for - but with increased financial pressure and general stressors im starting to feel resentful about being thankful for what I do have

Not financially, but mentally. More my DCs but it’s affecting me now. Lockdown did a number on both their MH, sadly.

When you say flat op, does a sunny day or anything make you laugh or smile?

if not, that is concerning.

it’s difficult to feel very cheery. There is a terrible raging war in Europe, cost of living is spiralling as a result, covid has now come roaring back ( I have covid again now) and the back drop of struggles is hard, very hard.
i still enjoy summer days, picnics and making plans to enjoy the good weather anyway - and still feel happy regularly.

are you close to burn out by any chance? I feel like you when I need a break and time to recharge.

I think that people expected the emergence from covid to be an exciting, joyous time, a bit like the celebrations after the wars ended - reflecting on those who died of course, but looking to the future, making plans, and living life to the full. Instead, we’ve been dealing with the cost of living, Ukraine, political sleaze, airport chaos, strikes, NHS delays, Passport Office failings, long covid etc etc. Life in June 2022 doesn’t feel like I thought it would had you asked me to predict it in June 2020.

Life is what you make it. It doesn’t have to be shit, you can fix that.

@kc431 i totally relate to the next step will make me happy thing - I feel like that too

and to the posters let down by friends, hear you on that too - it’s always me and DH organising, our closest friends are all child free and we have 2 small DC. Recently found out about 2 outings they have all been on where we weren’t even invited, this despite the last 2 gatherings being at our house and at our expense - we are just done.

Fed up and bored at work and feel like can’t book a holiday due to travel chaos, covid and cost of living. Honestly what is the point - all I do is work, try to sleep and do chores

Just got back from all inclusive holiday with the family so feeling good at the moment!

Yeah it’s hard OP. We are in a period of what should be long awaited financial relief (having paid nursery fees £££ for 6 years solid with both kids now) however losing one of my jobs so a days pay, the increased cost of living and our looming remortgage which looks to be shooting up has scuppered that. I was so looking forward to being able to breathe and not count every penny and yet that continues. I had a long cry the other day as life just seems so hard at the moment and relentless. I’ve had to cry off a few plans with friends due to costs so I’m probably now that flakey shit friends. All feels bleak and the old ‘it’ll get better don’t worry’ from my wealthy relatives really doesn’t help right now…

@GreenClock I think you make a very good point.

I'm personally feeling pretty good/normal, although I've been on antidepressants since March so I'm not sure if that's cheating! (In terms of OP's straw poll, not in that taking antidepressants is 'cheating'.) I feel like I could probably come off them now TBH but was told I should stay on for six months to make sure.

Out of interest, how many posters who are feeling down are WFH? I'm curious because for me that would definitely lead to feeling isolated and depressed in the long term (didn't WFH at all during the pandemic, though I was effectively furloughed in all but name for several months), but I could also see it going the other way round for people in different situations.

Same here. Since we came out of covid restrictions I feel flat and fed up quite a lot of the time but have no motivation to do anything about it. I really missed socialising in lockdown but now it feels like a monumental effort and I can't be bothered. We're going on holiday in a few weeks and I feel bad saying this as I know we're lucky to be able to afford it, but I can't get excited about that either. If it wasn't for DH and DC's I wouldn't bother going at all. I just don't really see the point.