to go to Glastonbury?

[greentreesgreengrass]

DP and I got Glasto tickets for 2020, now of course moved to finally be this week! hooray!

We have a 12 week old DS who we'll be leaving with my parents. We're away tomorrow to Tuesday as having a couple of days away to recover from the festival after!

People have seemed a little judgy about this. do you think it's fine? we will of course be going anyway but interested to know what people think.

I would never say it to your face, but I am a bit judgey that you're happy to leave your very small baby for what will be almost 10% of his life.

I find it a bit weird, though, that lots of people on here would be perfectly happy for you to leave the baby with your husband because "it's his baby too", when in fact there's a high chance the baby will be happier and better cared for by a grandmother!

having a young baby is exhausting she's hardly off to sleep in late and catch up on her rest

But people will try to put you down to make themselves feel better by being a mummy-martyr. being physically present in your baby's life for three months solid doesn't make you a mummy-martyr or a slave to the bzby''

No, I couldn't. My baby is around the same age and so far I haven't spent a night away from them. My parents have looked after the baby a couple of times whilst I've slept in the room next door when I was at my most exhausted.

I definitely couldn't switch off at a music festival away from my baby for that length of time. I think your parents are in for a shock. My parents also encourage me to seek their help with the baby but I can see it in their eyes that they find it equally exhausting, but they're trying to be helpful and polite. You seem quite naive to think that it will be easy for your parents - they are trying to be kind.

But then again my baby is whingey...so we must be whingey parents.

It's not what I would personally do. I would take my children with me (in fact I am). To the person who said Glastonbury isn't appropriate for children nowadays - of course it is. There's a massive Kids field, a second Green Kids field, two large family camping areas, a tent for overnight help with little children, an NCT tent...and that's just the things off the top of my head.

anyway, have a good time op. I couldn't do it, nor would I want to, but I hope you have a great break.

Not all Dad's are useless
Not all Nans are capable or reliable or willing

For those that wouldn't be able to leave baby- is it because you'd miss them too much?
yes, but predominately because it’s distressing for such a young baby to be away from both their primary care givers for a week. Surely you must know that?

I think it’s a long time to be away from a young baby. I can understand the festival part if you had tickets but the 2 days random added on end is an unusual choice. I wouldn’t say anything but I’d think it a bit odd. I think you may find it hard, be prepared to come back early.

Nope. Six days is far too long.

6 days, so basically a week, to leave a tiny 12 week old baby. I'm shocked that you could even considered it. One night maybe but not 6. I would have physically ached at the thought of it.
I think its selfish for two reasons. Your baby needs YOU, yes he might be fine with someone else but he's only been on earth for 12 weeks, it's you he needs. You get limited time with them and they change so quickly at this age, why would you want to miss it. He will have changed in someway when you get back and you'll have missed that. You should soak up this time, your baby will never be this small again.
Secondly your parents might be chilled but they are going to be utterly exhausted, I'm sure the memories of looking after a newborn have faded and are rose tinted.
But hey its a good line up at Glasto this year, and why not just take more time for yourself after!!

I don’t think a chilled baby has anything to do with being chilled parents or being happy to leave them at 12 weeks . Both of ours were very uncomplicated and also formula fed due to my medical conditions but I still wouldn’t have left them with my very capable mother at 12 weeks old for 1night let alone 4/5 mainly because being with my baby was more important to me than anything else I could have been doing .

As you’ve asked, no, I would never have left my 12 week old baby for so long. I wouldn’t have left them even overnight at that age. Yes, I’d miss them. But also, grandparents would never have offered to have them for so long - at that age or any age!

Parents sound happy & you are happy go enjoy and yourselves

It’s a hell no from me as well. The only person I know who did something similar was suffering from undiagnosed PND and will now readily admit that she hadn’t bonded with her son. (She then went on to have another baby, no PND and couldn’t believe she’d left the first one at such a young age. And before anyone says anything, I’m absolutely not equating having PND with not bonding - this was just one particular case.)

I remember going to a dinner party without DD when she was 4 months and being absolutely desperate to get back to her - no way would I have left her for even one overnight at that point.

Also, babies change SO much, every day, at that age! You’ll miss out on so much. Just crazy.

I don't have a baby but I would 100% be doing so to go to Glasto! Ignore the haters, it's only a few days and there's no rule saying you mustn't leave your baby for the first 6 months (no matter how much everyone on this thread thinks there is!). If you'd have asked this on a band forum rather than Mumsnet, I guarantee you'd have v different answers

No way on earth would I do this and nor would most parents I know of. However, as others are saying, you do you.

It is about the baby needing it's parent, it needs to hear your heartbeat and feel close to you. It gets comfort from your voice and the feel of your skin. Please read up about the 4th trimester.

Someone hasn't read any of the research into attachment, have they

Babies born to previous generations, pre research into these things, seem to have turned out fine on the whole.

Can't believe the levels of judgement of mothers on various Mumsnet threads recently. It feels like the clock's turning back to the days when women weren't allowed to be anything else except mothers.

All the preaching seems particularly hypocritical in light of the derision towards SAHMs on many threads and the fact that many posters are open about having gone back to work at a time when their baby was still young. Bit of moral schizophrenia going on here if you ask me.

No, I wouldn't either I'm afraid. It's not about missing them it's about doing what's best for them....and they will be missing you.

DS is a very chilled baby (maybe because we're very chilled parents!)

I think you should get this printed, framed and put in on the wall. You're 12 weeks in, you've nailed it. Have you thought about writing a book?

Very funny OP, I hope you're enjoying your thread.

I wouldn't, but it's not my choice to make.

Sometimes you have to accept that people judge your choices, rightly or wrongly.

If your parents are up for it and you feel you can then why not? You can always come home again if you feel you want to.

They're leaving him with relatives that will look after him not home alone. Ffs

Ignore the haters

Yawn.

Exactly this! Mums go back to work in other countries when babies are much, much younger than 12 weeks. The level of judgement here is astounding. It's hardly like OP has suggested to leave the baby home alone or with a stranger for a week. Get a grip

@greenshirt06 With all due respect, if you haven't had a baby, you cannot possibly give an informed opinion.

Literally in no way comparable @greenshirt06 🙄