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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Should I have said something to this mum?

161 replies

rocksonrocks · 20/06/2022 18:30

I was waiting for my husband in my car earlier when a woman pulled up next to me and got out of her car. As she walked away from her car she said "do not open the door or talk to anyone" and when I looked inside she had left her her daughter in her car seat whilst she went into the shop. It's really hot where I am and she didn't leave the window open, and the little girl can't have been older than two.

We left after about 5 minutes but it's been niggling me ever since. Should I have said something? WIBU if I did?

OP posts:

Carriecakes80 · 22/06/2022 04:58

I'm another who will take her youngest upstairs with me if I'm going to the loo, I like to see/know what they're doing, especially as so far, he's eaten 10p, a marble and likes plug sockets...none of my other kids ever did anything like it, just this little devil, so I would rather be safe than sorry...taken chill pills before and ended up at Stoke Mandeville twice! :-)
It all depends on the child!

Dahliasandtea · 22/06/2022 05:00

My SILs dog died like this when she accidentally forgot he was in the car and went into the house after a walk. he was a medium/large dog…, like a Weimaraner. So bigger than a two year old. Her kids were arguing and she was distracted. 15 mins. She was traumatised for ages.
im pretty sure leaving a 2yr old in the car unattended is illegal where I live. Even for a few minutes. I’ve seen firemen called die dogs left in cars and I’ve definitely seen quêtions like this (but as it’s happening) on Facebook and the response has been ‘smash the windows NOW! And call the police after. Every minute counts.’ The

Its so dangerous. Even in winter, where it can be super cold outside but the sun is so bright and clear that the greenhouse effect is quick and potent in a car left in full sun.

OP next time confront the woman as she walks away and make sure she knows the risks. Yes she may yell at you and tell you to mind your own business but she needs to be told. And if she still walks away you go to security or call the police, immediately. It takes next to no time for the car to seriously heat up and for 2yr olds body to shut down from overheating.

and for all those people who are telling you to mind your own business, and implying it’s busybodiness, have a quick google right now on the risks of leaving children in cars unattended on a hot summers day. Even with the windows left open a crack.

Bednobsbroomsticks · 22/06/2022 06:43

My dh popped into a supermarket on a hot day. Our daughter and me waited in car. Don't know what happened but when he left the car automatically locked and he had the keys. We couldn't get out or open the windows. After 5 minutes it was stifling and made us feel panicky. Rang his phone and he didn't pick up. Almost boiled in the ten mins he was in there. Scary how quickly it gets too hot. You were not being a busybody. I'd have stayed with the child to see how long she was left and called someone if too long. Disgraceful mother leaving the kid like that. Poor thing

Meraas · 22/06/2022 06:48

rocksonrocks · 21/06/2022 09:07

I can't quite believe how many people have said this is acceptable or that they've done it themselves! There's no way it's okay, and I really really wish I'd stayed with her until her mum came back.

It was very hot yesterday where I live, I was sat waiting in my own car whilst my husband was in the shop and I had both windows down because of the heat. No way would I have sat in there comfortably with the windows open.

And aside from the heat, it's dangerous and stupid to leave your young child alone in a car where you can't see them. For SO many reasons.

Why on earth did you leave then?

The parent was very wrong.

Littlescottiedog · 22/06/2022 07:08

For everyone saying one should mind one's own business in cases like this, have you ever sat in a car with the windows up on a really hot day for anything longer than a few minutes? It is so unpleasant, I can't believe anyone thinks it's okay to do it to a child.

Miisty · 22/06/2022 08:11

Saw a dad yesterday pushing his pram with hood up but had rain cover over .Babies are in A and E so hot Why aren’t parents informed to keep them out of the sun in the hottest part of the day No wonder babies are miserable Nobody seems to have parasols any more with the modern pram

Newmumatlast · 22/06/2022 08:14

JuneJubilee · 20/06/2022 18:42

She left her while she went into 'the' shop.

So like a one stop/newsagent type thing? Not Bluewater?

I'd have waited until I saw her coming back, but popping into A shop for an item if 2 doesn't need 'reporting' no.

See i dont think leaving a 2 year old to pop into any kind of shop for any amount of items is OK. And it isn't just about the window not being open. The child was told not to open the door... so it can't have been locked and the child could've been taken. What sort of parent would leave such a young child alone like that? And it must be worrying for the child too.

Newmumatlast · 22/06/2022 08:22

Laurajane1987 · 22/06/2022 00:35

Does no-one remember that case where the man left his I'll child in the car outside a pharmacy while he bought calpol? He was charged with child neglect and via cctv was proven to only have left them for 7 mins.
A toddler, in the heat, unsupervised, no open windows, in a supermarket car park, out of sight of mum,and the car unlocked.
There shouldn't be a single person on this thread defending or excusing this and if you are it's because your likely guilty of the same.
If Op saw this and heard this, what if it hadn't been her? What if it had been a theif? A opportunist, a frikken pervert anything. I've seen people threaten drivers with death for leaving a fucking dog and some.of you think a two year old is just fine and dandy? Wtf.
Did you know all it takes for a child under four years old is an unventilated heat of just over 24⁰c to start feeling the effects of heat stroke? They could literally die in 17 mins? That's it, 17 mins 'grabbing a couple things' and your baby is dead.
I truely boggle at not only people lack of common sense/basic knowledge but their ability to defend the glaringly obviously wrong to protect their pride.

Absolutely this. People need to use their brains more.

ILikeHotWaterBottles · 22/06/2022 08:31

YetAnotherNameChange111 · 20/06/2022 18:49

Well after seeing a thread last week where a batshit mother told the OP to mind her own business when the OP warned her against creating a hothouse when she put muslins over the pram, I am not surprised you didnt say anything. A lot of the equally batshit posters told the OP she should have minded her own business 🤔

I would have stayed until the mother got back, just to check in case she was a long time.

I do wonder WHEN we are meant to step in though

Never apparently. Got to just mind our own business and ignore child abuse. It's idiots like that that see kids end up dead. I wonder how many people saw see kids injured or with bruises and just thought 'its none of my business', then see those kids end up national news murdered.

Some people shouldn't be parents, and I'm not just talking about the ones doing the abusing. The mind your own business ones are no better.

Geneviev · 22/06/2022 21:39

No wonder babies are miserable

lol are they???

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 23/06/2022 00:28

SheWoreYellow · 20/06/2022 19:37

Hm, I think with it being a supermarket and a hot day I’d have gone into the supermarket and asked them to phone the police.

Why outsource this call to the shop instead of making it yourself?

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