Should I have said something to this mum?

[rocksonrocks]

I was waiting for my husband in my car earlier when a woman pulled up next to me and got out of her car. As she walked away from her car she said "do not open the door or talk to anyone" and when I looked inside she had left her her daughter in her car seat whilst she went into the shop. It's really hot where I am and she didn't leave the window open, and the little girl can't have been older than two.

We left after about 5 minutes but it's been niggling me ever since. Should I have said something? WIBU if I did?

I read that story in the news. It was awful. I can't imagine that level of apathy.

I thought most of us tried to sneak off for a peaceful wee and hope our DC doesn't follow us! 😂

I dislike busybodies so much that I would generally say it's none of your business, but keeping the windows shut does seem stupid. Not sure how hot it was though. People do act as if 20 degrees is the same as 40 degrees in Texas...

I always wait around just in case, have never said anything to anyone. It’s actually not that I worry about eg someone trying to rob a car, more the child panicking, or a car knocking into them or something (when my dad was sick mum left him in the car while she went into the pharmacy and the guy pulling out hit the accelerator by accident and hit the car. Everyone was fine but my dad was really shook up

@namechangeforprivacyxxx

That is insane.

This is illegal in Australia. Kids have died left in cars especially if it’s not. A car heats up very very quickly and little kids can’t moderate their temp on those conditions. Grossly negligent. I understand popping in to pay for patrol or pick up the papers but a supermarket chain?

In fact people have been known to smash car windows to her children (and pets) out of cars on hot days. That’s not something I recommend but I would have called the police after 5 minutes. Ever been in a switched off car on a hot day? It gets hot FAST

This was not a paying for petrol or popping into a corner shop scenario - op has stated it was in a large supermarket carpark.

The thing is, we don't know anything about what mum was doing or for how long. If she was popping to use the cash point and could still see her car, that's really different from if she was doing a full weekly shop.

OP didn't hang around so we have no idea what mum was doing or how long she was gone

So we have no idea if what she did was ok or not, and if not ok, how not ok it was!

@teleskopregel yes it's illegal here. Pretty much every year there's a news report about a child/baby dying in a hot car. And a car can overheat when it's only in the 20s outside.
It doesn't even have to be a boiling hot day.
It's not being dramatic or a busybody to intervene.
LOs and dogs can die frighteningly quickly like this so you can't hang about - particularly if you've just arrived on the scene and don't know how long they've been there.

Did you read my post?

It is remarkable how blasé people are about leaving a small child that is unable to regulate its body temperature in a car on a hot day! No words.

It's illegal in Australia. That would be an immediate call to the police and a smashed window here, no questions asked.

I popped in to local co-op (tiny one) to do a mad dash grab milk and out.

On the way to pay, I heard this booming racket - think sound system bass from idiot driving past.

My daughter had accidentally kicked the radio volume on to full blast . Shit! Chuck quid at man and leg it out.

Bless her, she was terrified and screaming. I didn't leave her after that.

I would have stayed and watched the child in your situation OP.

What's done is done though and I'm sure child is fine. However, it's a case of how many risks does the mum want to take.

Yep very illegal in Australia -- this is worth a watch for those of you who are blase about the heat.

I wouldn't bother if it was a few minutes in the UK. We aren't in Australia and it wasn't that hot today!

20 degrees outside can easily result in 40 degrees inside a car if the sun is on the car. Have you never returned to the car on a sunny day and needed to open the doors for a bit before you could get in?

This happened where i lived. And then the car got stolen . . With the kid in it.

I would have notified the police. Taken video evidence etc. Its neglect

I'd call the police and let the supermarket know.

I can still remember the fear, I let off the handbrake in my Mums Renault 4, when left outside a shop (not a supermarket, small shop on a small precinct).. the car rolled down the slight slope towards the (not very busy) main road.

The terror of the car suddenly moving, then tbh the even bigger terror of people shouting.. and then people screaming as they realised there was a kid in there.. then my MOTHER screaming.. and then the almighty bollocking I got when she finally got to me, when the car hit the kerb and stopped.. and didn't cross the pavement and roll into the main road.

I can only have been 2/3 at the time.

The risks of a hot day, plus a kid who may be able to unclip themselves, meddle with stuff etc... its too much.

When it's a dog, everyone is willing to smash the windows. When I stupidly put the keys in my sons carseat and walked around the car to grab something and he locked the door, no one was willing to help. I had nothing I could smash the window with and onlookers were unwilling to help me SMASH MY OWN FUCKING WINDOW to get back into the car. They didn't seem at all bothered there was a 2 year old in there alone. They didn't offer to call police or anything, just chuckled at my predicament, said something about terrible twos and wondered off.

I had to run into the nearby shop and practically beg for help, they didn't seem bothered either!

Just read the following info from raisingchildren.net.au/toddlers/safety/car-pedestrian-safety/never-leave-children-in-cars#:~:text=Heatstroke%20and%20other%20facts%20about%20children%20in%20hot%20cars,-Here%27s%20what%20you&text=And%20most%20of%20this%20temperature,are%20parked%20in%20the%20shade.

Heat is the main risk for children left unattended in cars. Children can suffer life-threatening heatstroke, rapid dehydration, suffocation and death.
This is because cars can get very hot very quickly. In fact, on a hot day, the temperature inside a parked car can be as much as 40°C hotter than it is outside. When cars are parked, it takes less than 5 minutes for them to heat to temperatures that can seriously harm children.
Cars can heat to dangerous or fatal levels even on cool or overcast days or when they’re parked in the shade.
The younger children are, the more sensitive they are to heatstroke and the faster they’ll dehydrate.

Leaving your child in your car can be dangerous for other reasons too. For example, your child could:
release themselves from their seat, leave the car and get onto the road
disengage the car’s handbrake, causing it to roll forwards or backwards
choke on food, a toy or other objects within their reach
play with the windows and get their limbs or neck caught
be involved in a car crash
be a victim of a break-in
accidentally lock you out of the car

Last year on one of the hottest days of the year DH and I saw a child locked in a car. Turns out his dad had gone in the supermarket to do the shopping and although he had left the window open the car had automatically locked and shut all the windows. The child had a severe panic attack and was leaping around the car banging on the windows. The car wash opposite said the car had been there 20 mins and no one had done anything. DH and I rang the police and asked for a tannoy announcement, the car wash man smashed the window, when the father arrived back he didn’t even thank us but made more fuss about his broken window. Apparently he hadn’t intended to be so long! The child passed out and was admitted to hospital for dehydration. It was awful.

I also think when unattended children are left what if something happens to the adult who left them and no one knows the child is there?

People saying it’s not Texas/Australia- try sitting in your car in the sunshine for 15 mins tomorrow. I sat in the car to take a conference call the other day, as I was on the school run. It wasn’t a heatwave day. Good god after 10 mins I couldn’t bear it.

Even if the mum thought she’d only be a couple of minutes, it’s a supermarket, she can’t see what the queues are like, she might think she’ll just grab this and just grab that.

Even in winter - would you leave your handbag on the car seat in a supermarket car park? No!! So why would you with the thing worth a million times more to you.

I’d have waited 5 mins (timed it) and called police if she didn’t come back then. But the tannoy is a better idea.

People interfere for dogs on hot days, wth would you not interfere on behalf of a child?