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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not find this funny.

118 replies

Tootsey11 · 19/06/2022 19:44

Dp and I making dinner a while a go.

I had started the gravy off and Dp was keeping an eye on it stirring etc while I was busy.
Conversation went as follows:

Me: Is it OK, (wasn't sure if I had put enough bisto powder in)
Him: Yeah, it's fine. Nice and thick, just like you.

Said with a smirk.

Just one in a long line of his 'jokes' which strangely enough are always at my expense.
Am I just too sensitive???

OP posts:
5128gap · 19/06/2022 20:57

BrylcreamBeret · 19/06/2022 20:44

@5128gap Use a vegeterian/vegan fat.

Fat, flour and water is batter not gravy.

dickheadsthisway · 19/06/2022 21:00

PashunFroot
Such a mumsnet comment 🤣🤣

It so is! I’m crying 🤣🤣🤣

Also just realising that if my dm could operate a smart phone she would make the perfect mumsnetter. The gravy comment literally came out in her voice in my head 🤣🤣

Don't know which comment I love more, I also said it in my mums voice 😂😂

OnaBegonia · 19/06/2022 21:09

The 'funny' thing in all of this is that he was put through a number of tests a while back and was classed as illiterate, he can't read or write.
How would he react if you made similar comments to him?

Invisibelle · 19/06/2022 21:10

Tootsey11 · 19/06/2022 20:52

The 'funny' thing in all of this is that he was put through a number of tests a while back and was classed as illiterate, he can't read or write.

Surely you (and he) must have known this for decades and decades though if he’s 60?

He is most likely just trying to be funny, so you need to tell him clearly he’s not.

Octomore · 19/06/2022 21:11

Invisibelle · 19/06/2022 21:10

Surely you (and he) must have known this for decades and decades though if he’s 60?

He is most likely just trying to be funny, so you need to tell him clearly he’s not.

Show quote history

Yes, this can't have been news to either of you, surely? Why was he put through the tests?

Octomore · 19/06/2022 21:11

Invisibelle · 19/06/2022 21:10

Surely you (and he) must have known this for decades and decades though if he’s 60?

He is most likely just trying to be funny, so you need to tell him clearly he’s not.

Show quote history

Yes, this can't have been news to either of you, surely? Why was he put through the tests?

Invisibelle · 19/06/2022 21:16

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Agree. 😂 Had to screenshot and send to my 20-something daughter and son. I’m
not in the UK but not even my 82-year old dad would be confused by this. 😂

Invisibelle · 19/06/2022 21:17

Invisibelle · 19/06/2022 21:16

Agree. 😂 Had to screenshot and send to my 20-something daughter and son. I’m
not in the UK but not even my 82-year old dad would be confused by this. 😂

Show quote history

And you can remove the *not. 😂

Irridescantshimmmer · 19/06/2022 21:19

Sounds like he's humiliating you, and attempting to undwrmune your confidence.

Over time, some people stop believing in themselves and start to believe their BS.

I would pull him up about it. His attitude is not good.

FlowersFlowersEverywhere · 19/06/2022 21:20

Immediate comeback: “I must be thick, I chose you darling”, said with head tilt and smile that dares him t contradict you…
serve it straight back up….see how he likes it.

Threeboysandadog · 19/06/2022 21:30

I think you’ve outgrown him OP

Original poster
Tootsey11 · 19/06/2022 21:38

It's nasty, spiteful and I'm tired of it all. I do not have the energy to keep asking why he is doing it, too keep going over the same shit all the time.

OP posts:
oopsfellover · 19/06/2022 21:45

If he has literacy struggles, could he be projecting his insecurities onto you?
Guess you have to ask him to stop, and mean it. If he doesn’t, maybe it becomes a dealbreaker eventually…?
Don’t insult him back, about his penis size or anything else- that will just vindicate HIS childish behaviour.

and sorry to be less serious - but the thick/thicc debate is v amusing!

LordBuckley · 19/06/2022 22:43

Are you actually getting anything out of this marriage?

Maybe it's time to call it a day?

19lottie82 · 19/06/2022 23:38

It really depends on your relationship and your sense of humour. If my husband cracked this joke I wouldn’t think he meant it seriously, and not take offence.
only you know if your husband is being mean, it just cracking a joke that you won’t take offence to.

ProudThrilledHappy · 19/06/2022 23:40

Life is too short to be miserable Op. he sounds like a prick

LilyMarshall · 19/06/2022 23:46

Tootsey11 · 19/06/2022 21:38

It's nasty, spiteful and I'm tired of it all. I do not have the energy to keep asking why he is doing it, too keep going over the same shit all the time.

well, no. Of course not. Because youll get the same outcome. Do you want to die still with him insulting you?

BritWifeInUSA · 20/06/2022 05:04

RaininSummer · 19/06/2022 20:47

I have never heard thick to mean sexy. Maybe thick waisted as fat but that's not good either.

Here in the US thick means curvy, voluptuous. It doesn’t mean stupid. My American husband calls me thick and I’m a plus-side woman.In fact it’s one of our jokes. If I say someone is thick he’ll say “your thick or my thick?”

Notthereyet90 · 20/06/2022 07:11

He's just nasty. I make jokes at DHs expense but amongst a very loving relationship in which I also tell him how clever/attractive/kind/lovely he is. And he laughs. If you've asked him to stop and he won't I'd be questioning how much he cares.

Porcupineintherough · 20/06/2022 07:17

Another one of your insults , nice

Far too subtle. Try "Shut your mouth you pigshit arsehole."

But seriously, he sounds awful. Maybe bin?

Octomore · 20/06/2022 07:31

ProudThrilledHappy · 19/06/2022 23:40

Life is too short to be miserable Op. he sounds like a prick

I agree with this. Stop complaining about him on here and initiate a divorce. It doesn't matter how long you've been together, ignore any sunk costs that might be holding you back, you will be infinitely happier without him around

easyday · 20/06/2022 07:52

It's bullying. My friends husband does this ALL the time, in front of guests too.
Once I was there and another family and she was doing her hosting thing and asked her husband if he wanted a glass of wine and he immediately said 'no as I'm not an alcoholic like you'. Lots of similar things. Drives me nuts and I wouldn't put up with it.
She's known him since she was a teen, went straight from her family home to a marital home snd is totally dependent on him financially so is too scared to leave.

RustyShackleford3 · 20/06/2022 07:58

That's exactly the sort of joke my DH would make about me, but then I'd laugh. I'd also make similar jokes about him. We're sharing a laugh together, in my case. In your case, you are upset and not laughing. Very different.

If I told my DH a joke he made was upsetting, he would apologise and wouldn't make the same kind of joke again. That's a fairly basic level of respect in a relationship.

PinkButtercups · 20/06/2022 08:03

If you don't find them funny then no, it's Nike a joke as you are offended by them.

Me and my DP are very sarcastic so I would've probably laughed it off but if he knows you get offended he shouldn't say these things.

PinkButtercups · 20/06/2022 08:04

Not, not Nike.