Wedding Evening Do Tonight

[quicklybeendrivenmad]

Invited to one of DH friends weddings could not do day do as we were working, so just accepted the evening invite. the evening is pretty much bring family open invite, woke up today feeling crap told DH this morning did not think I would go, worked all day today got home and just crashed, he has gone which I have no problem with just had a nasty message saying shame you could not be bothered FFS feel like shit and tbf its the third time I have been to his weddings each one bigger and better than the last can I just tell him to a) fook off b) I am bored when will the next one be (usually around 5 years) c) Just dont invite me next time

Who sent the nasty message? DH?

Who was the message from your husband or the groom?

The groom and his now wife

Where does the message end?

With them saying I cannot bothered and tbf feel crap and this is the third Mrs I have welcomed others I was at day do etc but tbf geting a bit bored now

It sounds like the groom is not a nice person, and it sounds like you don’t like them. I would back away from the friendship. There’s nothing wrong with missing a wedding if you don’t feel well.

It sounds like you never wanted to go in the first place, so when you were feeling a bit tired, you saw that as your out and you bailed without hesitation. If you'd actually liked the bride and groom, I bet you'd have found the energy to attend, even if you weren't feeling 100%.

I don't enjoy weddings either, but that's why I stopped accepting invites. It's far less rude to make an excuse for not attending months in advance than to just not turn up on the day. You know they'll have factored in your attendance when planning the catering etc? Even if you're an evening-only guest, there will have been a cost involved.

I mean it’s short notice to cancel so initially I would say yabu
BUT his message makes him sound like a dick so YANBU

Did youtell them in advance you would not be going, or did you just no show ? If it's the latter you were really rude.

I find it really odd that a bride and groom would take the time out of their wedding day to berate an evening guest for not turning up.

Option A sounds good to me. What a twat he is.

This

YABU. You don't back out of a wedding so last minute, I would be so so offended if I were them! Fair enough if you can't go but accepting the invite and then not bothering cause you're tired is terrible.

I'd send a message back saying I'll see him at his next marriage and good luck to his current wife on finding her next better husband.

I'd have taken a day nurse and gone

Must be a crap wedding if the groom has the time to be texting a no show evening guest !

Evening do's are far less formal and I am surprised the groom noticed who was and wasn't there tbh. Daytime is different, obviously.

He sounds high maintenance. Hope you feel better soon x

The groom on his literal wedding day texted you to say that? Really?

Evening do though? I'd get the point 100% for the daytime do, but sure the evening is normally the party and there's no sat down meal etc, just drinks, cake and buffet food.
And also her DH went so I assume they were still given a gift etc.

Why did your DH tell them you couldn't be bothered, rather than you were unwell?

100%

That's really confrontational and will end up with messages going back and forth and where will that end. I would ignore it.

The groom is sitting there at his wedding texting people who didn’t show up? Very strange. People can’t help feeling unwell. Yes it’s annoying with no shows on your wedding but it’s the evening do so mainly a buffet and your DH has gone so not like you both didn’t show

This plus 1!!

This is the grooms 3rd wedding you have been invited to?

Just reply that you'll prioritise wedding number 4 then