Wedding Evening Do Tonight

[quicklybeendrivenmad]

Invited to one of DH friends weddings could not do day do as we were working, so just accepted the evening invite. the evening is pretty much bring family open invite, woke up today feeling crap told DH this morning did not think I would go, worked all day today got home and just crashed, he has gone which I have no problem with just had a nasty message saying shame you could not be bothered FFS feel like shit and tbf its the third time I have been to his weddings each one bigger and better than the last can I just tell him to a) fook off b) I am bored when will the next one be (usually around 5 years) c) Just dont invite me next time

I'd say, really sorry I didn't make this wedding, I'll make up for it at your next one.

I'm definitely in the grooms a prick camp, really who takes time out their wedding day to text anyone at all? Hope you feel better soon op

I think you sound as bad as him tbh.

Could you send them a pic of your phlegm/diahorrea/vomit/heavy period in return?

Why was it so important to the groom that you attend?

Exactly what I was thinking!

Good question

I wouldn’t tell him to fuck off.

I’d either ignore it or text back saying how ill you’re feeling but you hope they have had a great day and your sad to have missed it.

Sometimes people want you to have an argument with them and this guy sounds like that type of person. So I wouldn’t be giving him the satisfaction of giving him what I want.

I think it’s really odd how hes taken you not being there so personally when it’s DHs friend.

Is there a back story?

Is this the same man's 3rd wedding or the third workmate of DH to get married?
Either way it's weird message. If he has your contact details, he must be your friend too?
If your husband is there, it's not like a complete no show without notice. Surely your DH gave your apologies.
None of this quite adds up.
I reckon they've had a few people not able to come and now their photos/social media posts are ruined as they haven't got the numbers they wanted.

My dads friends stopped going after the second wedding 🤪

I'd say,

Well I came to the last 2 and they didn't last so I'm sure I'll make the next one...

@Luidaeg or just 'so sorry, I promise I'll come to the next one'

This is mumsnet of course I am in the wrong

or
"I asked on the internet so I could get some objective perspective from people who aren't close to the situation"

I have a good friend who has been married 3 times. Each time a BIG all singing all dancing white wedding. I have been invited each time to the whole day and have had to listen to history being rewritten. Thankfully the 3rd marriage seems to be lasting well. But each time my enthusiasm dwindled for the big show. I nearly got it wrong for Wedding No 3 when I was about to wear the same outfit I had worn to wedding no. 1. It was a close call.

But on the day I turned up - all smiles, all enthusiastic, present etc. But it is hard if you dont believe in what they are doing.

I personally think YOU have a DH problem - did he mind taking the "littlies" on his own? Would you normally have driven? And why didnt HE want to take time off work to go to the whole day for HIS friend?

You are too ill to go - that's the end of it.
Them sending an abusive message would be the end of any friendship if it was me.

WTAF.....
I'm with @babyjellyfish on this one 🙄

Is it their third wedding or the third friend to get married.

Your post certainly doesn't make it clear.

Didn't your husband tell him you were ill?

I do too, ths is the weirdest thing about it. I'd give them a very wide berth from now on and leave your DH enjoy their company alone if he wants to.

Yep agree bloody idiots should be enjoying themselves not bitching at you.
Oh well at least they missed you so you must be popular

That is so weird that the groom texted! Did your DH say you weren't bothered? It's the evening part I don't think an explanation is needed

You say your DH didn’t want to go either but then took the little ones - so sounds like he’s annoyed you left him to do it & so slagged you off to the B&G. So he obviously didn’t think you were that either! I wld just do something for him when he needs the support in return. But I’d be mad if that’s what he has done.

That ill either

I really don't understand the posters taking the high ground berating the OP for not going. The B & G knew you might not be able to make the evening anyway and it's not as if they have paid for a sit down meal for you, at most there might be a buffet for evening guests. Why would any poster be that bothered if you are ill and can't come, all a bit odd and far too precious in my opinion

She's subsequently said she felt really ill, but in her opening post, gave the impression that she just couldn't be bothered as she didn't want to go.

We obviously have no idea what the truth is, but if she gave us that impression in the first post, it's not a leap to think her partner also thought she bailed on a made up excuse and in a fit of annoyance, passed that onto the bride and groom.

She's also made very clear that she's judging the groom for getting married so many times and that she doesn't think the marriage will last. That's not an attitude you can really hide that well, so I imagine the couple saw her not turning up as yet another judgement on their marriage.

I just don't know why you would accept a wedding invitation for a couple you so obviously disapproved of.

And yes, most evening dos involve a buffet - and a venue cap on numbers - so by bailing so last minute, the OP has had a negative impact on all the planning.

I don't know how ill she was last night - properly ill or just a bit tired - but she should be more selective with her RSVPs going forward. If you can't show up for an event you wanted to attend, then at least the last-minute apology is believable.