Best friend always brings up my ex..

[Daisyflo777]

Whenever I see my friend (usually a few times a month) she will always find a way to bring up my ex and I just can’t quite understand why (or why it irritates me tbh). We’ve been split up over 5 years, I’m happily engaged with a baby and a very loving & supportive partner (total opposite to my ex!) & truly am now glad my life took a total different path.

My best friends husband is good friends with my ex so still in same friendship group circle (which I no longer socialise in) so she sees him & his GF a few times a year at weddings etc.

I’ve noticed that every time I see her she will find a way to bring him up.. how well his business is doing.. how lovely his GF is.. how close he is with his family now.. how he is a nicer person now etc. I’ll always just smile and say “That’s nice” or “good for him” and move the conversation on but I just can’t really get my head around why!? It was a bad break up, he broke my heart & moved on (still same GF) VERY quickly.. there’s no love lost and I have no interest in his life or him but I also have no desire to hear about how “fabulous” he is these days either.. especially from one of my best friends!

AIBU to just next time shut it down and say quite black and white that I just don’t have any interest or desire to hear about his life?

I like this.

I'd ask her in front of her husband if she has a crush on him. She certainly sounds like she does, knows a lot about someone and mentions them a lot, definitely mentionitis. Not much of a friend anyway, if she gets annoyed at you for that, no loss to you and it's obviously true.

I would stay away from listening to that shit. She probably means well and just likes him now because she spend time with him but she needs to keep that to herself. It is not as if you are bringing him up and she has to defend him. Just don't meet up with her.

wow that quote. It resonates.

Me too!

I could have written this. Recognise the traits in one my 'best friends'. Definitely being said in spite due to jealousy of some kind. Whether that's because of your new life or because she always liked the ex. Tell her you're not interested in hearing about him and try to look past what she's doing if you can. It's driven by her own insecurities.

You seem to want to talk about X every time we meet. Is everything ok? Do you have a crush on him or something? Is there anything you want to tell me?

As soon as I read this I thought this 'friend' is pointing out his good traits and how he is better now without you.

That's how it reads- that you brought him down in some way.

I hope I'm wrong though.

‘Friend, he’s an ex, right? As in In The Past and No Longer? So can we leave him there? Or shall we also chat about Stinky Stan who you shagged when you were pissed at your sister’s wedding?’

Next time you give her a Hard Stare and change the subject.

I seriously doubt she’s doing it to hurt you, she probably just likes him as a person and thinks you’re over him/don’t mind hearing about him.
I would tell her gently but firmly you don’t want to hear about him because he’s in the past and he hurt you, and you don’t want to hear about him.

She probably goes on about you to him as well.