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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ivygate

148 replies

housinghero · 18/06/2022 10:01

Can you tell me it am being unreasonable please

My next door neighbour is in her 70’s and lives on her own. She has an obsession with the ivy that I am growing up the back of the house and over my pergola. She has asked me and I have cut it back so that it is not growing on her side of the house . A few weeks ago I caught her hanging out if her bedroom window with a saw trying to hack it off . So I cut it at the bottom again so that it would then die back but only on the stems that were nearest to her side so that some still grew. Since we have been on holiday she has either come round and cut it or leant over with her saw and cut all the stem so the whole lot has died . So I am left with dead leaves all up my house which I can’t get down because I can’t get on a step ladder from my side and I also have spinal arthritis: I am fuming. I don’t plan on a neighbour dispute over this but after a horrendous week of family suicide and ill health his is the last thing I need.

OP posts:
KangarooKenny · 18/06/2022 10:03

I hate ivy, and I hate it even more growing up against brickwork. It holds damp against the wall.
So therefore YABU.

ApolloandDaphne · 18/06/2022 10:05

She has probably done you a favour as the Ivy might have been damaging your brickwork.

Bootothegoose · 18/06/2022 10:07

jesus that’s been thoroughly killed off.

As long as it was nowhere near her property you are in no way being unreasonable. I would go round and ask her directly what she has done. The sheer nerve of her.

Im also so sorry about your loss, what a terrible time for neighbour wars to start.

absolutely replant some ivy on the other side and hope your other neighbours aren’t as strange!

Bootothegoose · 18/06/2022 10:08

ApolloandDaphne · 18/06/2022 10:05

She has probably done you a favour as the Ivy might have been damaging your brickwork.

Cutting her foliage without permission is a favour? Bollocks.

Like ivy or don’t, OP did and the neighbour has no right to touch OP’s property or anything in it.

Original poster
housinghero · 18/06/2022 10:13

For info my husband is a builder so I would suggest he knows more about what damages brickwork then you.
also whether you like something on a neighbours property that gives you no right to trespass and cause damage.
I don’t like her water features they are irritating but I would smash them up. There is no difference

OP posts:
Original poster
housinghero · 18/06/2022 10:14

And next time she hangs out her bedroom window (at 77 years old) i will let her and hope she falls out ….

OP posts:
TheGoogleMum · 18/06/2022 10:17

Is her property the other side of that drain pipe or is that all yours?

stuntbubbles · 18/06/2022 10:19

Get someone in to tug it down, then plant something even more rampant: try Russian Vine…

Bootothegoose · 18/06/2022 10:20

WHO is voting Yabu?! She cut plants from your property!

Bootothegoose · 18/06/2022 10:21

stuntbubbles · 18/06/2022 10:19

Get someone in to tug it down, then plant something even more rampant: try Russian Vine…

Better yet poison ivy.

Summersolargirl · 18/06/2022 10:21

housinghero · 18/06/2022 10:14

And next time she hangs out her bedroom window (at 77 years old) i will let her and hope she falls out ….

Wow. How nasty is that.

Original poster
housinghero · 18/06/2022 10:22

Her property starts on the other side of the drainpipe. It’s actually her drainpipe but we paid for it to be replaced because we are nice! I can’t believe how angry I am it’s ridiculous lol

OP posts:
KangarooKenny · 18/06/2022 10:22

Yep, nasty.

MissNothing1991 · 18/06/2022 10:23

housinghero · 18/06/2022 10:14

And next time she hangs out her bedroom window (at 77 years old) i will let her and hope she falls out ….

Given the way you speak about her, I'm glad she's done it now. She's an old woman. And if she can cut it whilst hanging out her window, then it suggests to me it is in fact on her property.

Original poster
housinghero · 18/06/2022 10:24

Not nasty - I actually saw her do it and said for god sake stop hanging out and being ridiculous! We are good neighbour - we have a tidy house, we don’t make noise despite having a teenage son, we replace fences and guttering that don’t belong to us. But she gets an obsession about some of my plants and decides to take a fucking great saw to them. Mad….

OP posts:
Original poster
housinghero · 18/06/2022 10:25

And the only way she could reach it was to literally hang out, with a long saw. So no it wasn’t on her side.

OP posts:
Isaidnoalready · 18/06/2022 10:26

Virginia creeper is nice don't plant Russian vine it's not called Mile a minute for nothing and it is the epitome of a declaration of war! My mom used to grow it up the side of the neighbours house because it was glaring white and cut it down every year and every year it made it most the way up a two story house!

ClocksGoingBackwards · 18/06/2022 10:26

housinghero · 18/06/2022 10:14

And next time she hangs out her bedroom window (at 77 years old) i will let her and hope she falls out ….

That is a nasty thing to say. She’s an old lady who probably is over invested in this ivy because her world has shrunk and these things have started to matter more than they should, but if you live in an attached house, growing ivy is quite selfish. You should never have allowed any of it to grow onto her side in the first place, but since you did, I don’t think you can complain that she’s had to solve her problem herself.

ManateeFair · 18/06/2022 10:27

KangarooKenny · 18/06/2022 10:03

I hate ivy, and I hate it even more growing up against brickwork. It holds damp against the wall.
So therefore YABU.

Why does the fact that you personally hate ivy mean it’s OK to cut it from other people’s houses?

I hate fake grass but I wouldn’t rip it out of my next door neighbour’s garden.

frydae · 18/06/2022 10:29

housinghero · 18/06/2022 10:14

And next time she hangs out her bedroom window (at 77 years old) i will let her and hope she falls out ….

I don't think you are going to have many positive comments now OP...

Summersolargirl · 18/06/2022 10:30

housinghero · 18/06/2022 10:24

Not nasty - I actually saw her do it and said for god sake stop hanging out and being ridiculous! We are good neighbour - we have a tidy house, we don’t make noise despite having a teenage son, we replace fences and guttering that don’t belong to us. But she gets an obsession about some of my plants and decides to take a fucking great saw to them. Mad….

Yes it’s nasty to wish death on an elderly lady. What’s wrong with you?

Original poster
housinghero · 18/06/2022 10:31

When I say it was growing on her side- it was about 4 leaves . Spaghetti was paranoid about it going to far over and I have been totally accommodating and helpful regarding it. I know that her world has shrunk . I actually have worked with older people and I know how fixated on thing they can get which is why I have helped and done it even when it has never really gone on her side. I understand her anxiety about it. You have to realise that I can’t always do thing as soon as she asks me too. I work full time and have kids and Ill health, I actually have a gardener to do some work for me. But that does not justify her trespassing…

OP posts:
Notthereyet90 · 18/06/2022 10:32

Just because she's old doesn't mean she can do whatever she likes. YANBU OP. I would replant something. Fair enough if she was taking down stuff on her side and chucking it back over your fence but killing your plant takes the biscuit! I'm so glad I've only ever had lovely neighbours and now live on in the middle of a huge plot of land. No jacuzzis or fence disputes or people cutting at my trees!

Original poster
housinghero · 18/06/2022 10:32

And you are all fixated on one sentence that I have said. You are all mad too

OP posts:
frydae · 18/06/2022 10:33

housinghero · 18/06/2022 10:32

And you are all fixated on one sentence that I have said. You are all mad too

To be fair that one sentence was vile.