Ivygate

[housinghero]

Can you tell me it am being unreasonable please

My next door neighbour is in her 70’s and lives on her own. She has an obsession with the ivy that I am growing up the back of the house and over my pergola. She has asked me and I have cut it back so that it is not growing on her side of the house . A few weeks ago I caught her hanging out if her bedroom window with a saw trying to hack it off . So I cut it at the bottom again so that it would then die back but only on the stems that were nearest to her side so that some still grew. Since we have been on holiday she has either come round and cut it or leant over with her saw and cut all the stem so the whole lot has died . So I am left with dead leaves all up my house which I can’t get down because I can’t get on a step ladder from my side and I also have spinal arthritis: I am fuming. I don’t plan on a neighbour dispute over this but after a horrendous week of family suicide and ill health his is the last thing I need.

Personally I hate ivy on houses. We had (have) it on ours and every year I cut the bloody thing off at the base to stop the spread...and every year it grows back. Luckily, because I chop it at the base, the growth is only limited. The last owners had the stuff going right up the walls and it interfered with the facia and guttering - hence me not being keen now.

BUT...that doesn't give anyone the right to come onto your property and destroy things that they don't like. Our neighbours have a huge rambling rose on their side of the fence which droops over to our side. Now, that's a lovely plant. However, if I didn't like it, I probably have the right to cut it back at an appropriate time of the year to the height of the fence on my side, like your neighbour cut back leaves encroaching on her side.

But does that give me the right to go into their garden and chop the rose off at the base? No, of course it doesn't.

If it's not impacting her side of the wall - which, from the photographs it isn't, it's not even going over the fence - then she needs to leave it alone.

@Bluevelvetsofa

"Would it make any difference if she was young?"

Yes, you'd go round give her a mouthful and then consider cameras to get her charged with criminal damage. We give leeway to elderly people and tend to not want to confront them in the same way. If the OP was as nasty as said, she'd be banging on her door, but she's venting here instead.

Well I said YABU because ivy is awful you'd have to be continually on it to keep it on your side of the drainpipe. Every time you go away for a week it will start to grow there. It will mark her brickwork where there branches are left because as they harden and grow they get more fixed and fused and bigger. It'd only when they are new vines that you can pull them off easily.

She should not have cut it as she did. Have you complained and told her not to do it again?

You will need to start monitoring the ivy weekly so that you can cut any vines growing her way. It's not fair for an old lady to have to do it. I remember my grandma was forever pulling down her neighbours ivy that had grown onto her garden wall, up and over.

My neighbour has ivy in the garden and it's everywhere. We are constantly pulling it out of our garage on the inside and out and the roof is damaged because of it. The shed is the same. I have enough to deal with my own garden without it.

could you be more patronising about older people and their tiny worlds?

Exactly @Ponoka7. If the neighbour were in their thirties many people on here would have reacted differently. Just because a person is older doesn't mean they should be given 'carte blanche' in destroying someone else's property. In fact, they should know better as they are likely to have been brought up more strictly in terms of being polite, being respectful. The fact that the neighbour doesn't like it and vandalised the property is the issue here - not the woman's age.

BTW although I said I hate ivy on houses, we do have it on our fence and a low wall in our back garden and, as @Ponoka7 said it's a great source of food for bees etc., In fact, I believe it's one of the last sources of food before winter as they flower later in the summer/autumn. So, for me, no ivy on the house but plenty in the garden.

She shouldn't have cut the ivy on your side but, given that a similar ivy has wrecked the mortar in my garden wall, I'd be a bit worried too if I was her. My ivy has twisted through my bricks so I will have to demolish my wall, brick by brick, and rebuild, if I want to remove it, but the ivy is actually knotting it all together at the moment so I'm leaving it.
It's good insulation, though, on a house.

Op tells everyone posting they are all mad and tells them to fuck off.

Not everyone. Just those who take particularly vicious enjoyment over kicking someone who is clearly having a tough time and said something they obviously don't mean (and have since clarified that they absolutely do not mean.)

I'm on a couple of threads like this this morning and in all honesty, I do think the posters who find enjoyment and fulfilment in holier-than-thou kicking people while they're down (as if they've never said anything they didn't mean or done anything they regret) are a bit mad, and I do wish they'd fuck off so this site could be a slightly more constructive place.

I’ve just been out and cleared as much dead stuff off the wall - it wa every easy to get off actually for those of you who care .
howver the I’ll health has also been that my husband has been in hospital after an accident and can hardly walk so he can’t get up to do it . So I have done it and I’m the process hurt myself .
so I hope she is pleased with our efforts

She has asked me and I have cut it back so that it is not growing on her side of the house . A few weeks ago I caught her hanging out if her bedroom window with a saw trying to hack it off
When did she ask? If a couple of weeks had gone by and you hadn’t bothered to do anything about it then it sounds like she got fed up and tried to do something about it herself.

I cut it at the bottom again so that it would then die back but only on the stems that were nearest to her side
I am left with dead leaves all up my house which I can’t get down because I can’t get on a step ladder from my side and I also have spinal arthritis
Ironic isn’t it? You’re unhappy with the dead mess on your house but thought cutting it back and leaving the dead mess from your plants was ok for her house? She’s an older woman, she can hardly be expected to get on a step ladder either.

No, she shouldn’t have cut it back (I’m presuming you have actual evidence of this since you’re accusing her of this). But she shouldn’t be forced to worry about an invasive plant that is on your property ruining her house either. She had asked politely for you to do something about it, you stalled, did a half arsed job and admit to not cutting it back enough (despite having a gardener) and left her with mess on her walls then sod off on holiday leaving the stuff you didn’t cut back to run rampant.

Methinks you’re not the kind, considerate neighbour you make out to be.

Tbh, ivy does damage brickwork and it is a pita to get rid of if it really takes hold

it destroys fences and kills trees.

not that this gives her any right to come onto your property to kill it, but somehow it’s not right for you to decide to grow something so invasive up what is also the same building she lives in.

from your op, you have so much other stuff going on which is far more important

don’t let this plant thing get to you, plants grow back, you could get a trellis or something and plant something else whenever you feel like it.

my mum grew a Passion flower against her house, it was lovely!

My neighbour’s ivy cost me hundreds to remove from my house.

YABU

If you'd like to reference my post please tag me in it. You and the OP have absolutely no idea what OTHER posters are also going through as well. It's absolutely no excuse to wish a neighbour to fall out a window and injure themselves , tell everyone they are mad and to fuck off.

Indeed. Some disgustingly ageist comments on this thread.

Absolutely. Wouldn't it be nice if we all didn't attack people and cut everyone a little more slack. If we didn't automatically assume the worst motives and intentions.

I don't know what's going on with you, you have no idea what's going on with me. We do know a bit about what's going on with OP.

OP hasn't told her neighbour directly what she wrote here in a moment of anger and stress. OP has been told directly in this thread that she's evil. Which is worse? Ideally neither would happen, and OP has allowed that on her side. Haven't seen any reciprocation though, that posters lashed out in upset or anger.

You can't win though. Some people demand to be @ in every post, some complain vociferously about it. In the absence of settled etiquette I'll continue to do my best to strike a balance.

This is such bad timing for you OP with all that’s gone on (and I’ve read all the posts). Sorry for your loss. Yes, she’s allowed to trim stuff on her side. No she should not do anything on yours. Someone has probably scared her into ‘ooh that will eat your cement and your house will fall down’. I would give it a couple of days and go see her when you are calmer. Say something like ‘I know you were worried and it’s fine to trim your side, but please leave our side to me and I will sort it’. Keep on good terms if you can.

What a stupid response. So because you don't like it, nobody should like it?

Ivy spreads like the devil and is almost impossible to kill.

DH managed to kill the ivy next door had grown up our fence. We had to replaced the fence because it had wrecked it so when he cut it back he cut into the roots and put something in it to kill it.

I like ivy, it's a native plant that's great for wildlife, it'll bear trusses of little green flowers late in the summer that are magnets for insects when little else might be flowering. Can attract sugar drunk wasps though. The berries are good for birds. The evergreen foliage is good for nesting birds and hibernating insects. I'd keep it cut back below the eves of the house. I had a job in an env. health dept. We had to deal with a rat infestation/neighbour dispute. A family with mh problems had let the ivy get out of hand so it completely smothered their house. Rats had used it to climb into their roof and the infestation had spread along the terrace.

OP I hope your personal circumstances improve.

Op I'm sorry for your loss. I can understand that life is tough for you just now.

I hate ivy with a passion, but that doesn't give me (or your neighbour) to cut down other peoples plants in their garden.

I can understand your neighbours concerns as ivy can cause damage to buildings and can be difficult to get rid of. But she still can't cut down plants in your garden.

But I would say that if you normally get on well with her, maybe wait before talking to her as you are clearly emotional- which given the circumstances is totally understandable. It's maybe better to wait until you can be calm when discussing it.

Be kind to yourself op.

Op have you got experience with ivy.
It's just with these things one doesn't realise how.rampant they are until you get damage or try and get rid.

As an example I happily watched ivy grow on a fence.
Two years later in that storm the whole fence collapsed and was destroyed. Also the ivy has literally crept in elsewhere all over the garden!
Once it gets a foothold it's so so hard to manage.

So I would also be nervous after my experience if our neighbors wanted ivy.
It's invasive.

Same with bamboo, we inherited bamboo and never thought about it. Until one day I thought actually I don't like it lets get rid!
It has run under the lawn to the other side of the garden and next doors .I paid 600 for someone to remove it. And it's still coming up and I'm going to have to lift my grass and dig under the lawn to get the runner under it.

@PinkSparklyPussyCat
Can you ask him What.

We have a massive ivy root and we drilled holes into it , poured apple cider vinegar into it and also sprayed with wees killer.
It's merrily spouting again.

She should not have cut it but ivy is awful and very invasive. Plant a climbing hydrangea or virginia creeper instead.

Your neighbour is wrong to do what she has done. Simple.

I do think that you have made the wrong plant choice though OP. Ivy is horrible and so time consuming to try and keep under control. There are other climbers that can be grown over a pergola that are less likely to spread and grow so voraciously and that are less damaging to fences and walls. This is written kindly as someone who lives in constant battle with ivy planted by someone who wanted green coverage. Also, I have developed a severe allergy to ivy pollen/dust that means I now have to pay to have it cut.... Apparently it is quite common, so beware

We had variegated ivy on the back of a similar house to yours. It gave some character, we liked it and it provided nests for sparrows. No damage, that's an urban myth.
Getting the debris from an area we cleared was a nightmare and it looked scabby for years.
The variegated is slower growing.

My final post.
thanks for calling me evil. Much appreciated- I hope that no one you care for commits suicide or that you have then to go through any sort of trauma.
it may put into perspective what that word means when you use it.
And all your posts about plants is making me lol.
the irony is that I did not plant the ivy - it probably came from her side anyway- I have only lives here 12 years - she has lived here 50 but I am simply trying to deal with it with plant by doing something useful with iT
it is nowhere near the roof and I would not let it
it a very small amount growing up the wall

have a good day folks and I hope life is kind to you