Ivygate

[housinghero]

Can you tell me it am being unreasonable please

My next door neighbour is in her 70’s and lives on her own. She has an obsession with the ivy that I am growing up the back of the house and over my pergola. She has asked me and I have cut it back so that it is not growing on her side of the house . A few weeks ago I caught her hanging out if her bedroom window with a saw trying to hack it off . So I cut it at the bottom again so that it would then die back but only on the stems that were nearest to her side so that some still grew. Since we have been on holiday she has either come round and cut it or leant over with her saw and cut all the stem so the whole lot has died . So I am left with dead leaves all up my house which I can’t get down because I can’t get on a step ladder from my side and I also have spinal arthritis: I am fuming. I don’t plan on a neighbour dispute over this but after a horrendous week of family suicide and ill health his is the last thing I need.

Maybe lady next door is worried this will happen and is staying vigilant to protect her property. Bit different to just taking a dislike to something in your garden.

It isn't, actually, in terms of justification for what the neighbour did. You can deal with anything that's on your property. Anything else you have to use your words, or your lawyer.

you have lost any argument here

You seem nice. 🤔 Maybe you should manage your invasive parasitic weed that you're fond of for her instead?

grow something else, something prettier - some white wisteria

Always happy to help.

You seem nice. 🤔 Maybe you should manage your invasive parasitic weed that you're fond of for her instead?

Like by cutting back any stems that were even pointing in the general direction of the neighbour's house and making sure that it doesn't encroach by more than a couple of leaves, and dealing with it when it does?

OP is dealing with a family suicide and ill health and acknowledges post was written in anger and is not a sincere wish.

OP acknowledges what might be causing neighbour's worries and outlines what she has done to try to allay them as well as broader things she has done for neighbour.

A certain type of MN poster continues to have a field day laying into OP for daring to (a) have a plant they don't approve of and (b) making an insincere and hyperbolic post when angry and stressed.

What a vile comment!

Op tells everyone posting they are all mad and tells them to fuck off.

Thank you - it just shows that OP don’t actually read posts properly and choose what they want.
you might not like my plant - fine
you may not agree with my throwaway angry comment which if you k ew anything about me you would know I don’t mean - fine
you may think that older people can do whatever they want - fine
you may even think I am not a good neighbour - fine

but please read thing properly!,,

The ivy looks awful OP, why are you so determined to keep it? And while it might not ruin sound masonry surely it's not going to do your wooden pergola any favours. I'd be pissed off living next to that mess tbh, even the non dead bits look awful, I don't blame her for not wanting any of it on her side, you need to make sure it doesn't go on her side at all or get rid of it - but it sounds like you're too stubborn and childish to do that, not to mention rude.

I'm sorry for your loss @housinghero but you need to step back, calm down & have a cup of something

The neighbour shouldn’t have done it but I can’t believe posters who don’t think ivy damages brickwork. It literally ate through the concrete fence posts in our garden and we have had to have areas on the house repointed where it damaged the mortar.

It looks shit because she has killed it off above where she has cut it.

it didn’t before
whether it looked shit before is no reason to destroy someth8ng which ultimately makes it look worse,

i have to look at her house and all the other things that she doesn’t maintain because she is unable to and her family do not help her
i try to help where I can by doing more than is necessary- as per my other posts.
we have arranged many things for this lady in the years we have lived here. If she had another problem she should have spoken to me properly about it.

she is not worth your energy op.
move on
plant something else

Yanbu. I personally would stop doing any of the things you do that benefit her, so you're a better person than me OP!

was on your side until this message

you are being vicious and nasty - jeez wishing death on someone over a bit of ivy. You are probably a nasty neighbour too.

get a grip.

"Maybe you should manage your invasive parasitic weed"

The OP is, she keeps it cut back. As for 'parasitic weed', if you haven't heard

What a psycho (not you, I read that as a throwaway comment not you WISHING DEATH on her).

Yeah because that sentence of yours was evil - showing you are probably not the nicest person

we arent mad at all

I do think you need to speak to her though, OP. She does need to know that she can't come onto your property like that. It might happen again otherwise.

Would it make any difference if she was young?

As for parasitic weed, Ivy is great for pollinators, mine across my back fence is thick enough for birds to nest in. It's constantly full of all manner of wildlife all year round. Posters are suggesting swapping it for something pretty, pretty shouldn't just be the aim in the garden, our wildlife needs all the help it can get. No-one has any right to go into someone else's garden and destroy something just because they've taken against it, especially a native plant. I hate the fashion for fake grass and plants that aren't any use to our insects. Ivy is massively underrated.

Sorry OP, but there's nothing bored, uppity mumsnetters love more than pouncing on one sentence so they can make themselves feel better by calling you an awful person. Even though any rational person reading your post can tell you weren't being at all serious and just frustrated at the situation, you'll just get hundreds of patronising YOU'RE EVIL, you want her to die!!!, shame on you evil beast!! responses now. Enjoy!!