Aibu to serve a buffet at our wedding

[MimosasInFrance]

My partner and I are planning a wedding for this December, this is of course quite a fast turnaround (due to family illness) but we've been lucky to get a venue, DJ and photographer booked with relative ease so it is all going ahead!

We've opted for a hot buffet for the meal - likely a Christmas carvery type situation (a nice one!) because we felt that was a bit more relaxed and also, honestly, it was cheaper. I also thought people who have particular food habits (like members of my family!) might find it less stressful than a three-course sit down affair. We're serving plenty of wine and soft drinks etc. It's a twilight wedding so I don't think anyone should be going hungry.

I've just had a reaction from a family member who seems to think this is akin to serving beans on toast, and it's thrown me into a panic. Will everyone hate this and think we're being stingy?

I'm trying not to get sucked into everyone's expectations as I know that's how costs get out of hand.

Aibu to serve a buffet?

[mrsmoppp]

Serve what ever you're happy with. It's your day and your paying for it. No matter what sombody will always have something to complain about. You could serve lobster and caviar and sombody wouldn't be happy 😊

Enjoy your day xx

[ArtVandalay]

I have never been to a wedding where the food was a buffet, but I have been to many fancier weddings where the silver service menus were just horrible.

I think a buffet sounds perfectly fine. If the food is plentiful and good quality, no one will mind, assuming there's no queuing.

If you have old/disabled guests, I am sure they will get assistance. And, ime, the older folk hate waiting, so try and get them served first.

[DramaAlpaca]

We had a buffet at our wedding and everyone seemed to appreciate it.

[Animum2]

We had a Buffett. There was no complaints. Do what u want to do and don't worry about others

[etulosba]

Over the years I have been to quite a few weddings that had buffets. I think I actually prefer them.

Elderly relatives don’t have to queue up, unless their family is completely dysfunctional.

[PyongyangKipperbang]

So was it your mother or your sister?!

Either way tell them to wind their neck in unless they are happy to pay for a 3 course gourmet table service meal.

[Zazdar]

We had a buffet at our wedding and everyone seemed to appreciate it.

So did we, and guests contributed to it. The only problem with that was that we had a bit too much cake.

[burnoutbabe]

@Animum2

We had a Buffett. There was no complaints. Do what u want to do and don't worry about others

but thats normal

I bet all the guests who have posted on this thread that they got NO FOOD didn't actually complain to the bride and groom. Who are mostly always served first, as are the parents etc.

guests do not want to mention the buffet was crap so hotels who host these things never get the feedack and continue with rubbish buffets. Guests just complain after, anoymously on mumsnet.

[NoEffingWay]

We are going to do a buffet, but hopefully one where the food never runs out! Going on my previous catering attempts no one will go hungry. I always aim for there to be enough for everyone to have at least 1.5 plate of food, with a lot of variety inbuilt.
A sit down meal would take up too much of the budget and we have to be realistic about what we can spend on food.

[bloodyunicorns]

A carvery sounds lovely. The person who said it wasn't is very rude. Serve what YOU want at YOUR wedding. I think a lot of people will prefer this to a sit-down dinner.

[rookiemere]

Buffets don't run out because people are greedy gluttons. But it's natural - if you are at the front of the queue - to fill your plate with what you like, so I know DH would go for protein options rather than potato salad, as that's what he prefers.

There will be food left for the folk at the end, but it will be the less popular options.

This can be combatted by topping food up midway.

I've been to a hog roast wedding reception where - due to over generous initial servings- scrapings and fat were given to us at the bottom table. Then my hungry son was called greedy by the groom for being keen to explore the dessert buffet before the interminable speeches.

[WorkEvent]

I’d love this. Mostly because I’m incredibly greedy.

[GettingStuffed]

We got married in August so we had a salad buffet. It was really popular.

[MRex]

I'd love it, as long as there are tables to eat at. One cousin did this and it was great, people just ate when they fancied and got on with enjoying themselves the rest of the time. I remember all the dancing rather than bored sitting at tables wondering if more prosecco will turn up.

[LyingWitchInTheWardrobe]

Have one server for EACH table. Each server has the same quantity/choice of food and it's allocated for that table?

Buffets are great if done well but, there's so much scope for it to go wrong and venues can't just magic up more food instantly. The stress of that wouldn't be something that any bride and groom would want.

[Adamantspants]

Once to speak to the hotel beforehand and be VERY specific on what you want, I am sure it would be fine.

I have been to 3 weddings where there was this kind of setup. 2 were a disaster with everyone just bailing up together and the queues were a mile long, nothing left by the time some of those at the end got there and people going up for 3 or 4 people who couldn't get up or couldn't be bothered getting up to go themselves. We were starving so left and got McDonalds and came back ha ha. It did ruin the day somewhat, people milling around with plates of food all at the same time and the servers got very overwhelmed. Shambles.

The other one I went to was only a small wedding. 70 people and it was absolutely lovely. Plenty of food and obviously queues not too long.

It wouldn't be my cup of tea personally as I prefer not to queue up for food at a wedding, reminds me of a 21st party but I think if you convey exactly what you want to the hotel they will get it right.

[OompaLoompaa]

There will be food left for the folk at the end, but it will be the less popular options
I went to a wedding and my family’s table were called up last and there was literally just some spring rolls left. We watched all the earlier people come back to their tables with piles of meat skewers and mini ribs.

[danny735]

I think it sounds delightful! Perfect for a winter wedding and will fill your guests up (I've often been starving at weddings with fancy cuisine!)

[Augend23]

I went to a hot semi-buffet the other day which worked well. There were about 3-4 waiting staff and they brought serving dishes of the various foods over to each table and we could then help ourselves, family style. I thought that worked quite well because you weren't either waiting watching everyone else get their food or competing with the entire party of people.

[TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo]

We had similar at our work Christmas do last year. It was Carvery Yorkshire pudding wraps
Either Turkey or beef with stuffing and then roast potatoes and veg on the side. It was bloody delicious!

[MintyGreenDream]

I went to a wedding recently and we were table 6 out of around 10.We got enough food but felt low on the pecking order tbh,

[WeWillLookBack]

I think buffets at weddings are brilliant if you want a relaxed feel. We had a summer wedding - marquee on my parents lawn (farm). Married at 3pm, back to the farm - canapés and cocktails, then a buffet. Our caterers were amazing - loads of amazing dishes. And 7 different desserts. They had cold storage - so more and more food being brought out. They served from both sides of the marquee - so not much waiting. The experience of the caterer is key

But - they are all there to celebrate your day. (and be fed for free) - they should be happy to be part of the day not focused on the food.

[Adamantspants]

@Augend23

I went to a hot semi-buffet the other day which worked well. There were about 3-4 waiting staff and they brought serving dishes of the various foods over to each table and we could then help ourselves, family style. I thought that worked quite well because you weren't either waiting watching everyone else get their food or competing with the entire party of people.

This sounds perfect actually.

[JustLyra]

@MintyGreenDream

I went to a wedding recently and we were table 6 out of around 10.We got enough food but felt low on the pecking order tbh,

I don’t really understand why people always say this about buffets. If it was table service you’d have likely been in that “pecking order” too

[Bobcat246]

We had a buffet for our wedding at a local Italian restaurant. Lasagne, seafood risotto, a veggie option, and breads and salads. It went down a storm. A couple of things are critical to making it work:

1. There must be plenty of food with staff to serve it (to stop the gobble gannets at the front taking the lot). They call people up for seconds once everyone has had their first serving.

1. The staff should call people up a table at a time so people aren't standing for ages. At our wedding they had two buffet lines serving the same food so they got through all the guests twice as fast.

1. Staff should serve the less mobile and those with dietary requirements by bringing a plate to their table. This ensures those with allergies etc get their food and avoids cross contamination as they can plate it separately in the kitchen. It also means granny doesn't topple over into the hog roast.

1. People should have allocated tables that are already set with cutlery, glasses etc to avoid dithering and juggling plates, knives and forks

You crack on. It'll be great!