Aibu to serve a buffet at our wedding

[MimosasInFrance]

My partner and I are planning a wedding for this December, this is of course quite a fast turnaround (due to family illness) but we've been lucky to get a venue, DJ and photographer booked with relative ease so it is all going ahead!

We've opted for a hot buffet for the meal - likely a Christmas carvery type situation (a nice one!) because we felt that was a bit more relaxed and also, honestly, it was cheaper. I also thought people who have particular food habits (like members of my family!) might find it less stressful than a three-course sit down affair. We're serving plenty of wine and soft drinks etc. It's a twilight wedding so I don't think anyone should be going hungry.

I've just had a reaction from a family member who seems to think this is akin to serving beans on toast, and it's thrown me into a panic. Will everyone hate this and think we're being stingy?

I'm trying not to get sucked into everyone's expectations as I know that's how costs get out of hand.

Aibu to serve a buffet?

[5foot5]

Sounds good to me.

We had a cold buffet at our wedding 35 years ago as this was all that the budget would allow. There were people serving it so not a free for all. As far as I can remember each of the three long tables were called up in turn.

It was actually a lot nicer than BIL and SILss wedding a few months earlier. They had spent loads on a hot sit down meal. Unfortunately they had also hired a very intrusive photographer and video recorder who massively delayed the start of the meal so everything was cold by the time we got to eat it

[Flubber88]

This sounds lovely!

[mindutopia]

Sounds great. Went to a family wedding a few years ago that was a vegetarian buffet. I thought it was really nice. Honestly, no one should be complaining about a free meal, especially in these tricky times.

[jay55]

Twice I've been to weddings and there was nothing left, for the last few tables. Even the dishes that were served by staff.
One of those I was a bridesmaid and had been helping set up all morning no time to eat before the wedding. It was pretty embarrassing for the couple that there was no food for the top table at all. Especially as the parents had paid for the wedding.

[JustLyra]

We had a buffet for ours and it worked very well.

We were strategic as we only had a few people with dietary requirements and vegetarian so they were all on two tables and those two tables went up first.

definitely have staff serving as that just keeps things moving, as well as saving Uncle Bob eating all on the parsnips/carrots and leaving nothing for anyone else.

[Portiasparty]

I'd love this. It makes the whole meal thing better, so you can get up and chat to other people in the queue, rather than being stuck with mad Aunty Ethel for the entire meal. And also the food in those sit down meals is always underwhelming.

[shinynewapple22]

I think anything which reduces the cost of your wedding (but still allows a nice day) is a good idea. Everything is so expensive now. You don't want to be starting married life with masses of debt.

[Mammyloveswine]

We had a fancy buffet, everyone loved it! The food was amazing and there was enough for seconds

We had wedges and bacon sandwiches for the evening too.

My venue was very fancy too!

[Isitsixoclockalready]

@MimosasInFrance

My partner and I are planning a wedding for this December, this is of course quite a fast turnaround (due to family illness) but we've been lucky to get a venue, DJ and photographer booked with relative ease so it is all going ahead!

We've opted for a hot buffet for the meal - likely a Christmas carvery type situation (a nice one!) because we felt that was a bit more relaxed and also, honestly, it was cheaper. I also thought people who have particular food habits (like members of my family!) might find it less stressful than a three-course sit down affair. We're serving plenty of wine and soft drinks etc. It's a twilight wedding so I don't think anyone should be going hungry.

I've just had a reaction from a family member who seems to think this is akin to serving beans on toast, and it's thrown me into a panic. Will everyone hate this and think we're being stingy?

I'm trying not to get sucked into everyone's expectations as I know that's how costs get out of hand.

Aibu to serve a buffet?

That sounds bloody fantastic.

[Isitsixoclockalready]

@Portiasparty

I'd love this. It makes the whole meal thing better, so you can get up and chat to other people in the queue, rather than being stuck with mad Aunty Ethel for the entire meal. And also the food in those sit down meals is always underwhelming.

Yep, it's much more of a lottery with a sit down meal. With a buffet, you can keep everyone happy (or the majority at least).

[babyjellyfish]

It's fine, OP.

As long as people aren't hungry, thirsty, cold or standing around for long periods of time, you're doing OK.

Ignore your family member and enjoy your wedding!

[JustLyra]

Also don’t worry too much about people moaning - when it comes to weddings some people moan no matter what you do.

i have w relative who moaned about my buffet, my sister’s casual sit down meal, my cousins fancy sit down mean and my other cousin having a tiny wedding so no meal. What would actually suit her is a fucking mystery!

[TidyDancer]

I tend to prefer buffets because I'm vegetarian and a sit down meal can either be boring or a tasteless afterthought.

My advice would be to over cater and have plenty of options. If you think you've got enough, add some more. There will always be one or two people (at least) who act like pigs with no consideration for anyone else.

Also consider doing pick and mix, if people have access to sweet treats they may be less likely to be greedy with the buffet.

[Hesma]

I’ve was a guest at a wedding where they did this and it was lovely. Do what you want and can afford… if the hater doesn’t like it they don’t have to come

[1VY]

@MimosasInFrance

Sorry to hear that this happens to you! I might do a sticker system or something for those with dietary requirements so that other folk don't swoop in!

I used to go to a small monthly event with work with a sandwich lunch. I was the only Gf attendee and there were a couple of vegetarians or vegans.

The caterers were very helful and started off having a small separate table for us called something like “ Healthy options” ( no idea why ! ) with GF bread, cake, vegetarian / vegan options etc

After a few month they discovered that all the greedy omnivores took their food and then came over and took ours, so they resorted to having plates covered with cling film and a sticker with our names in it.

it was literally the only way to stop the greedy bastards from taking “ our “ food. ITs like they cant help themselves . “ Oh look vegan cheese I’ve always wanted to try that. Here have a couple too “.

Also Gf cakes / biscuits / bread are horrible so they would take one bite and then toss it ig in the bin. While I sat eating a plate of lettuce.

So I absolutely dread catered events now.

[Luredbyapomegranate]

What a world we live in, when Oct is a fast turnaround for a wedding.

Of course a Buffet is fine, ignore them and don’t discuss your plans going forward.

[drpet49]

Buffet for a wedding is fine as long as there are several lines. I’ve had to queue for 15 minutes before and everything just resembled a school dinner line

[Simonjt]

Rather than people queuing for food would it not be better to be served at tables? I have been at events where you are served the main plated part of the meal and then servers offer you the sides etc, once everyone has been served the sides the plates/bowls are then placed on the table for those wanting seconds.

[Unexpecteddrivinginstructor]

I am sorry to hear about your family member's illness and I hope that you all have a lovely day. A buffet sounds great as long as there is provision for elderly/ dietary requirements. Maybe have trays available for families with little children. Your relative will have views on everything so just smile and move on. Whatever you do don't share baby names in advance because they will have an opinion on that too.

[GreenClock]

I have been to one wedding with a buffet and they encountered the problems described - veggie food decimated and vegetarians on the last tables to go up being left with bread and salad.

In fairness meat eaters are perfectly entitled to eat the vegetarian stuff and most people like variety and will take a piece of ham quiche plus a piece of broccoli quiche (or whatever). The problem is that often the veggie items are under-catered. You’ll need lots more than you think.

It’s important to get the food right at weddings. “Bad wedding” threads on here often feature stories of poor/scarce food and strategic supermarket trips.

[BogRollBOGOF]

I went to a lovely wedding that did "hampers" of food on each table which was the best of both worlds. There was a bit of swapping going on where some tables would swap things like olives for cheese.

I have encountered a hog roast running out, admittedly I was waiting for the queue to fade because my pelvis was in agony after a long day and couldn't face excessive standing around. I'm not sure if the portion sizing was off or whether the gannets queued up multiple times before I could face heading over for the bap and a few crumbs of meat that were left.

I've been to other buffets that have worked well, often at village hall type venues.

[KatherineJaneway]

Nothing wrong with a buffet BUT you must make sure there is enough food. The last few buffet's I've been to, the food has run out before everyone was fed. Hungry guests is a no no.

[KosherDill]

I prefer a buffet to a plated meal.

[TheFormidableMrsC]

I went to a wedding with a hog roast and a simple buffet of delicious sides and it was lovely! Plenty of food and made a really nice change from the usual wedding meals I've had in the past.

[mumwon]

put veggie stuff & gf behind buffet on extra surface & if someone has dietary issues they know to ASK that way the special diet foods should not run out OR they get served to tables (give caterers table plans matched with position of people with dietary issues) than they can get salad stuff if they want it?