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AIBU?

Intolerant neighbour disgusted by chalk drawings.

267 replies

Milsey13 · 17/06/2022 13:00

We've been living in a lovely community Cresent of flats where everyone knows everyone, families, couples and elderly. Our children are good natured, caring and kind. They play outside together and all neighbours are used to them and love seeing their chalk drawings, especially through lockdown. We have since had a new neighbour. On first meeting he revved his engine and sped up going very close to my son who was chalk drawing, he always moves out of the way but had very little time. My son was a little stunned. The neighbour then walked towards him glaring at him like he was a juvenile delinquent. I looked at him with raised eyebrows and the neighbour started ranting at me that the chalks are disgusting and he's sick of seeing them when he comes home and we should not be playing outside and to go to the park etc etc. He was very aggressive. I suggested he need to be more tolerant as we are a diverse community with families and those without children have always enjoyed their drawings. He said we have no respect and he will be complaining about us etc etc. My son is autistic and very gentle and kind but is now to scared to go outside incase he sees us. I feel the neighbours aggression and driving was far more disgusting than children chalk drawing. My son is known for his amazing drawings and it's been encouraged as part of his play therapy, so it was very confusing that someone would refer to art as disgusting. The irony also is, that my son has a fantastic engineering brain and it turns out the complaining neighbour is an ecologist and environmental engineer promoting a greener future! Yet, he's revving his engines and intimidating young children! I just can't get over it!

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

700 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
39%
You are NOT being unreasonable
61%
ApolloandDaphne · 17/06/2022 13:02

Is your DS chalking on the road? That doesn't sound very safe if he is.

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Ncwinc · 17/06/2022 13:04

He sounds like a total arse but I wouldn’t allow DC to chalk on any surface cars are allowed to drive on. It’s just not safe.

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Sirzy · 17/06/2022 13:05

If he is chalking on areas where cars are driving it doesn’t sound very safe.

I don’t think communal are his to decorate as you feel!

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Hugasauras · 17/06/2022 13:05

Is he drawing on the road? That's not safe. But if it's pavement that's a different story.

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HotHeatDays · 17/06/2022 13:07

I would say it was more to do with them playing where cars are needing to drive. Seems like an accident waiting to happen.

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monicagellerbing · 17/06/2022 13:09

Is your son Banksy

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Headshothelp · 17/06/2022 13:10

Your shock about him being an environmental engineer and not liking children drawing on the road is a bit ridiculous. And what does a diverse neighbourhood have to do with chalk drawings?!

I really wouldn't be happy with my child drawing in the road either. Is there anyway his revving could be him trying to make sure your child knew he was there? It's less aggressive than beeping his horn.

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oopsfellover · 17/06/2022 13:14

The neighbour sounds like a dickhead but not sure what you can do except for making sure your kid is safe.

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SparkyBlue · 17/06/2022 13:15

The neighbour is a total arse. I've an autistic son as well and I know that they only like and enjoy certain things. Obviously it depends on where your son was drawing and if he was being properly supervised. Let him complain away. Who is he actually going to complain to about a little boy playing with chalk ?

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MoggyP · 17/06/2022 13:15

Just tell your DS to stop drawing outside that one house.

It sounds like he was blocking the driveway, as the neighbour had to wait for him to move out of the way.

No matter how lovely and diverse your street, it's still wrong to block driveways

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Blueshimmer · 17/06/2022 13:15

I think he’s unreasonable (and dangerous) revving a car near a person and obviously he shouldn’t be intimidating a child.

But if your son was in the road/car park I think you’re completely unreasonable too - it’s dangerous and not somewhere a driver necessarily expects to come across a crouching child.

What are your children chalking on? If it’s access paths or in an otherwise formal landscaped area for example I think you’re unreasonable - it’s effectively temporary graffiti in a shared space and actually no not everyone does find chalk drawings or your child charming, although most people are more polite about it. I wouldn’t want to get chalky shoes just to get to my front door. In lockdown or very occasionally I wouldn’t mind but I’d expect to be able to enjoy gardens etc without the view of your child’s rainbow or whatever.

If it’s your own patio/driveway then go for it.

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DockOTheBay · 17/06/2022 13:17

What does the diverse community have to do with it?
What does him being an ecologist have to do with it?

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waveyourpompoms · 17/06/2022 13:17

Your son should not be chalking on communal ground regardless of how “amazing” his drawings are.

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lassof · 17/06/2022 13:18

your son shouldn't be anywhere near a place that cars drive!
Even on the pavement next to a road is not a very intelligent choice of play area for a child. What if a car clipped the pavement?
The driver also should not be driving like that ... again, what if he mistimed things or your son jumped with fear?

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PAFMO · 17/06/2022 13:22

Extrapolating what's relevant from this.

The child shouldn't be drawing in the road, or on a communal pavement really.

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MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 17/06/2022 13:22

Hmmmm I bet the drawings aren't as cute as you think they are. I'd let my child chalk now and again but I'd hose them down in the evening.

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Whereismumhiding4 · 17/06/2022 13:23

He sounds like a bully as he didn't need to approach and berate your DS. He could have asked DS who his mum was and popped round to have a chat with you,

I understand his concern of your DS is sat playing in the road but if your DS is on the pavement, as long as he lets people get by, DS is causing no harm no nuisance and is clearly having a lovely old time chalk drawing. Goodness - it's hardly spraypaint he's using, chalk washes off the next time it rains!

I'd try to have a chat with grumpy NDN to talk to me with reason but that he scared my son (if he didn't realise) and that's not ok.

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MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 17/06/2022 13:23

** and if it's on a road then definitely not!

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TheFlis12345 · 17/06/2022 13:25

I don’t like chalk drawings all over the pavement, it looks such a mess. I wouldn’t shout or drive like a twat because of it though.

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Knowbodysphool · 17/06/2022 13:26

DockOTheBay · 17/06/2022 13:17

What does the diverse community have to do with it?
What does him being an ecologist have to do with it?

I'm struggling to find the relevance too, also did the play therapist suggest he chalk in a communal area that sounds quite dangerous?
I'm sure his art work is lovely but not everyone wants to tip toe over it

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HappyCup · 17/06/2022 13:26

The neighbour sounds like he overreacted - but having to look out for a small, crouching child while driving is enough to make anyone feel stressed and potentially overreact!

Just make it clear to your DS which areas are safe for chalking (ie the paths away from his house, your drive away, etc).

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EllenWaiteourkid · 17/06/2022 13:27

Unbelievable.

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SparklyLeprechaun · 17/06/2022 13:27

Obviously the neighbour could be more tolerant and shouldn't intimidate a child, but some of your comments are ridiculous. Your neighbours don't love the children's drawings, they probably tolerate them (or are too polite to say anything). Your child's chalk drawings are not art. The guy being an ecologist is nothing to do with anything. Your child has a fantastic engineering brain, really? Even if he does, so what, where's the irony?

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FrownedUpon · 17/06/2022 13:27

Not everyone wants chalk drawings all over their road. Also, that sounds unsafe. You sound like one of those parents who think everything their DC does is wonderful.

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Notanotherwindow · 17/06/2022 13:31

Some important info missing here. If your son and his friends are just chalking on the pavement it is harmless and your neighbour is a fucking dickhead. If they are playing and chalking in the road, you are.

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