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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Intolerant neighbour disgusted by chalk drawings.

267 replies

Milsey13 · 17/06/2022 13:00

We've been living in a lovely community Cresent of flats where everyone knows everyone, families, couples and elderly. Our children are good natured, caring and kind. They play outside together and all neighbours are used to them and love seeing their chalk drawings, especially through lockdown. We have since had a new neighbour. On first meeting he revved his engine and sped up going very close to my son who was chalk drawing, he always moves out of the way but had very little time. My son was a little stunned. The neighbour then walked towards him glaring at him like he was a juvenile delinquent. I looked at him with raised eyebrows and the neighbour started ranting at me that the chalks are disgusting and he's sick of seeing them when he comes home and we should not be playing outside and to go to the park etc etc. He was very aggressive. I suggested he need to be more tolerant as we are a diverse community with families and those without children have always enjoyed their drawings. He said we have no respect and he will be complaining about us etc etc. My son is autistic and very gentle and kind but is now to scared to go outside incase he sees us. I feel the neighbours aggression and driving was far more disgusting than children chalk drawing. My son is known for his amazing drawings and it's been encouraged as part of his play therapy, so it was very confusing that someone would refer to art as disgusting. The irony also is, that my son has a fantastic engineering brain and it turns out the complaining neighbour is an ecologist and environmental engineer promoting a greener future! Yet, he's revving his engines and intimidating young children! I just can't get over it!

OP posts:
RoseAndRose · 17/06/2022 14:49

ginslinger · 17/06/2022 14:48

This is probably because I'm an old gimmer, but I don't understand why there's a problem with children chalking on pavements, providing they're not causing a danger to themselves or obstructing the pavement. I think we've forgotten what a community is these days.

I think the snag here is that the child was causing an obstruction - says in OP that he had to get out of the way of the car

stripeyflowers · 17/06/2022 14:49

oops! sorry replied to the wrong person!!

NellWilsonsWhiteHair · 17/06/2022 14:55

Chiming in on the 'was it a road or not?' question (because why wait for the OP to update with facts when I can just randomly speculate?!) - a lot of estates these days involve (IMO) far too much 'shared space' which isn't clearly delineated as being for cars or pedestrians. (See also, Exhibition Road outside the big London museums.) I hate this - a lot of pedestrians and drivers seem to have no clue what's going on, and I definitely see that my own usually-quite-road-sensible children are lulled into a false sense of security and constantly forgetting that it is still a road.

Within private estates I imagine it's about maximising use of relatively small outside space, but it certainly blurs the edges about what's normal behaviour.

May be totally irrelevant to OP scenario obvs but that never usually stops the conversation on AIBU.

crysania · 17/06/2022 14:57

In front of your own house, somewhere safe (not near a road) then why not.

But we need more information, OP.

141mum · 17/06/2022 15:00

Oh for goodness sake, what is wrong with people, let them chalk, they are kids, let them enjoy childhood which is far too short. As long as someone keeping an eye on them, what’s the problem

Anonykunt · 17/06/2022 15:01

I let my son chalk in our big communal back garden, I wouldn't let him do it in the front which is a beautiful "courtyard" facing onto a busy main street. I'm wondering if I'm being a dick for letting him now.

ArtVandalay · 17/06/2022 15:05

I would assume everyone wants to admire your child’s chalkings.

I also think this should be kept to your own area and not a communal one. Some people might think it looks messy and horrible.

WhereYouLeftIt · 17/06/2022 15:06

"On first meeting he revved his engine and sped up going very close to my son who was chalk drawing, he always moves out of the way but had very little time."

Why would your son have to move out of the way? Is he drawing on the road, and not the pavement?

girlmom21 · 17/06/2022 15:07

@ThreeImaginaryBoys it's shit if people are walking chalk through their houses, getting it in their cars or whatever. It doesn't have to be toxic if it's inconvenient

WeLoveYouMissHanigan · 17/06/2022 15:09

My sons autistic and we only let him chalk on the back

His being autistic doesn’t override everything else

yabvvvvu

diddl · 17/06/2022 15:12

We're on a quiet road & kids chalk on the road here.

I think it looks a bloody mess, but it is nice to see them playing out together.

ArtVandalay · 17/06/2022 15:13

ArtVandalay · 17/06/2022 15:05

I would assume everyone wants to admire your child’s chalkings.

I also think this should be kept to your own area and not a communal one. Some people might think it looks messy and horrible.

I meant NOT assume. X

chiffchaffchiff · 17/06/2022 15:18

I'm surprised by all the hatred of chalk drawings. I really do like the ones the children on the pavement outside of my house.

Marlaah · 17/06/2022 15:18

In a communal block you do need some give and take. Your neighbour doesn’t come across very well and should’ve showed more patience. A few chalk drawings are easily removed and don’t hurt anyone. But if it’s going to cause that much hassle, it’s better to take your son somewhere where he doesn’t run into misery guts.

PaddingtonBearStareAgain · 17/06/2022 15:20

chiffchaffchiff · 17/06/2022 15:18

I'm surprised by all the hatred of chalk drawings. I really do like the ones the children on the pavement outside of my house.

It gets on my wheelchair wheels for starters.

TiddleyWink · 17/06/2022 15:21

Honestly I don’t love the chalk drawing thing. It can make a street look really messy. It’s just middle class graffiti.

I think he was rude (by your account, I’d be interested to hear his) but it’s very entitled to regularly draw all over communal public spaces and assume everyone else is as delighted with your child’s work as you are. I can’t see why you would think it’s ok to draw all over property that isn’t yours…?

girlmom21 · 17/06/2022 15:22

Honestly I don’t love the chalk drawing thing. It can make a street look really messy. It’s just middle class graffiti.

It takes 20 secs and a warm bucket of water or a bit of rain to get rid of

SilverBirchWithout · 17/06/2022 15:24

Yes you are being unreasonable allowing your child to chalk on the communal pavements, I get your point about doing it during lockdown and certain social norms changed during the time when the majority of people were home and the community vibe was stronger.
I would loathe it if this happened along pavements near us, where does it end? How about teenagers expressing themselves with arty graffiti is that any different really?
The man should not have been aggressive or intimidatingly towards your child, but to some degree you were culpable by justifying the drawing to him because others have been ‘polite’ about it. Please stop the chalking on communal spaces on a regular basis it really isn’t fair to other residents whether they are diverse or not!

Onlyforcake · 17/06/2022 15:27

Chalks are middle class now are they? I'll be sure to tell our local estate that. The amount of mners with dark joyless souls that thrive on bitchy remarks about children playing in an unremarkable way grows quickly in the competition to hate children as much as possible.

Zoeslatesttrope · 17/06/2022 15:27

I'm an autistic adult and the visual clutter of chalk drawings on the pavement causes me sensory overload and distress so I would hate that near my home.

doomoon · 17/06/2022 15:29

Classic MN.

OP hasn't said whether her son is chalking on the pavement or in the road, yet half of the comments are about it being dangerous to play/chalk in the road.

Lots of "why can't he play in your garden", and "why can't he chalk on your driveway". Surely even the densest plank of them all must realise that not everyone has a garden and/or a driveway. Especially not when the OP mentions a crescent of flats.

I do agree that all the business about diverse community etc is irrelevant.

However, I don't think the boy is doing any harm, and all the snide comments about his artistic inability are pretty horrible.

CheeeeeeeeeeesusChrist · 17/06/2022 15:32

he always moves out of the way

He shouldn't be IN the way in the first place should he?

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/06/2022 15:32

OP buggered off?

Huh.

HarryStottel · 17/06/2022 15:33

One of those where it would probably be very interesting to hear the car drivers version of this story.

stuntbubbles · 17/06/2022 15:35

MrsTerryPratchett · 17/06/2022 15:32

OP buggered off?

Huh.

Jumped into a chalk drawing à la Mary Poppins