Intolerant neighbour disgusted by chalk drawings.

[Milsey13]

We've been living in a lovely community Cresent of flats where everyone knows everyone, families, couples and elderly. Our children are good natured, caring and kind. They play outside together and all neighbours are used to them and love seeing their chalk drawings, especially through lockdown. We have since had a new neighbour. On first meeting he revved his engine and sped up going very close to my son who was chalk drawing, he always moves out of the way but had very little time. My son was a little stunned. The neighbour then walked towards him glaring at him like he was a juvenile delinquent. I looked at him with raised eyebrows and the neighbour started ranting at me that the chalks are disgusting and he's sick of seeing them when he comes home and we should not be playing outside and to go to the park etc etc. He was very aggressive. I suggested he need to be more tolerant as we are a diverse community with families and those without children have always enjoyed their drawings. He said we have no respect and he will be complaining about us etc etc. My son is autistic and very gentle and kind but is now to scared to go outside incase he sees us. I feel the neighbours aggression and driving was far more disgusting than children chalk drawing. My son is known for his amazing drawings and it's been encouraged as part of his play therapy, so it was very confusing that someone would refer to art as disgusting. The irony also is, that my son has a fantastic engineering brain and it turns out the complaining neighbour is an ecologist and environmental engineer promoting a greener future! Yet, he's revving his engines and intimidating young children! I just can't get over it!

[MrsEricBana]

Near my house there is a lovely pedestrianised, very photographable street. The other day a man and kids who lived in or poss were on holiday at a property with a door onto the street were happily chalking all over it. It looked awful and was not cute at all. Why would anyone think other people want to see their kids' art all over the pavement? I don't get it at all. Having said that, of course your neighbour shouldn't have been aggressive to your son about it.

[comealongponds]

Your son shouldn’t be playing or chalking somewhere that he needs to move out of the way of cars, that’s dangerous. Stick to pavements.

your bit about engineering/ecologist just makes you sound batshit

[girlmom21]

OP hasn't said whether her son is chalking on the pavement or in the road, yet half of the comments are about it being dangerous to play/chalk in the road.

Because the man drove close to the boy...

I'm sure if he'd driven along the path Op would have reported him.

[PaddingtonBearStareAgain]

OP hasn't said whether her son is chalking on the pavement or in the road, yet half of the comments are about it being dangerous to play/chalk in the road.

OP has said he has to move when cars come so hardly playing in a safe area.

[Gr33ngr33ngr4ss]

I suspect nobody really "loves" the chalking. They're ambivalent at best but if you ask them then most people are going to be kind.

Whether you're in the road or not, driving AT a child is pretty shit.

If you are IN the road, you shouldn't be and if you need to be revved at to notice a car then you REALLY need to not be allowed to do it at all because you're going to get badly hurt.

I don't mind chalking particularly but if it's every day and all over a large area, I can see why some people think it looks messy.

[IncompleteSenten]

If your child had to move out of the way then he was either on the road or across this arsehole's drive.

For safety's sake I would make sure he only chalks in safe places in future so quickly moving out of the way of a car is not an issue and he can chalk away happily.

[Gr33ngr33ngr4ss]

@girlmom21

Honestly I don’t love the chalk drawing thing. It can make a street look really messy. It’s just middle class graffiti.

It takes 20 secs and a warm bucket of water or a bit of rain to get rid of

Which is fine IF the OP does that. If she doesn't then it's someone else's hassle and it shouldn't be

I think occasionally is OK. Every day isn't. Because SOME people don't like it and their view is just as valid

[GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing]

Your neighbour sounds like an absolute dickhead.

Driving at and revving at children, using language like “disgusting”, meant to intimidate.

I wouldn’t let your son draw in the road as not safe but otherwise yanbu

[Pluvia]

@Gr33ngr33ngr4ss

I suspect nobody really "loves" the chalking. They're ambivalent at best but if you ask them then most people are going to be kind.

Whether you're in the road or not, driving AT a child is pretty shit.

If you are IN the road, you shouldn't be and if you need to be revved at to notice a car then you REALLY need to not be allowed to do it at all because you're going to get badly hurt.

I don't mind chalking particularly but if it's every day and all over a large area, I can see why some people think it looks messy.

This. I expect other neighbours are less than happy about it but feel they can't say anything because they don't want to upset you. When people share common spaces there's an unwritten rule that they observe certain boundaries. It sounds as if you and your son have overstepped those boundaries on the assumption that he can do what he wants because of his disability. It doesn't work like that.

[Haz1234]

There’s no need for children to use chalk on public roads and footpaths.

[LetitiaLeghorn]

I can guarantee you that not all the neighbours loved seeing those drawings. They tolerated it so as to not fall out with you. If I were a neighbour, I'd probably be even cheering the driver on. Honestly, if your kids want to draw, get them to use paper in your own house.

[catfunk]

Half of your post sounds very precious and irrelevant.

Can't your son chalk in your back garden or closer to your house where it doesn't affect the neighbours? I don't particularly like the look of it either tbh.

[VestaTilley]

Your neighbour sounds unpleasant; rather than revving his engine at your DS, he should have come and spoken to you.

But your DS shouldn’t play in the road or chalk pavements/communal spaces. Buy a chalk board.

[RestingMurderousFace]

Your son sounds perfectly lovely but please remember that neighbours/people in general are not obliged to pander to him. Perhaps restrict his artistic endeavours to the pavement outside your own house.

[Norgie]

Every summer, the kids chalking on pavements upset gets wheeled out on here.
1/10.

[PansyPetunia]

@catfunk

Half of your post sounds very precious and irrelevant.

Can't your son chalk in your back garden or closer to your house where it doesn't affect the neighbours? I don't particularly like the look of it either tbh.

It does.....almost as if it's made up to wind up mumsnetters!

[SarahProblem]

So your son's drawings are probably not v.good and your neighbours likely abide them rather than love them. He should probably draw somewhere safer and less communal and you should accept not everyone loves your son, and his outputs as much as you.

That being said, your neighbour was a dick to intimidate your vulnerable son and if he had an issue, he should have spoken to you calmly about it.

[OnaBegonia]

Our children are good natured, caring and kind.
what a wonderful street to live in and with your amazing intelligent child too!!
Chalk does no harm, ignore the misery guts.

[Lovemusic33]

Some of these posts are crazy.

OP…just shut your dc inside with a Xbox or a iPad like all the other kids.

We spent hours chalking on the road and on our patio (we were lucky to have one). Maybe just go and wash it off at the end of the day?

[Mouk]

I think chalking on communal paths is fine, unless it's something offensive. It's chalk FFS, it will wash off in the next shower of rain. Chalking on a roadway is not acceptable due to the safety aspect.

Revving your car and intentionally driving dangerously is unacceptable, especially to scare a child. Your neighbour is a bully.

[JinglingHellsBells]

With only ONE post by the OP is depends on where he was drawing.

I used to draw on the pavement as a child BUT it was in a small cul de sac (so never on the road) and I was told to ONLY draw outside our house, because not everyone likes to see chalked pavements. I also think my Mum used to swill them away when I'd gone to bed.

This topic ALWAYS comes up on MN in the summer.

I think it's a bit debatable who is right.

Personally, I see chalking now as similar to graffiti and not to be inflicted on neighbours, no matter how nice they are.

Chalk at home on the patio or garden path if you have one.
Outside? not so sure.

One person's 'Oh isn't it lovely and sweet' can be someone else's 'God what a bloody mess all over the street.'

No one buys a house to live with chalked pavements outside.

[FlippityFlapperty]

Loads of irrelevant info in your post, including your children being kind and autistic and known for his amazing drawings. Take the emotive stuff out and your son was drawing very close to a moving car which is dangerous and probably quite alarming for the driver. He shouldn’t have to move to get out of the way - he shouldn’t be near cars at all, engines revving or not. So, YABU for letting him play in what could be unsafe communal places.

The neighbour is unreasonable for calling chalk disgusting and saying they shouldn’t be outside.

[PansyPetunia]

Would LOVE to hear the neighbours version of events!!

[girlmom21]

@Gr33ngr33ngr4ss I agree about the idea that it should be washed away. I disagree with the suggestion of being no better than street graffiti

[WibblyWobblyJane]

Did anyone ask for a diagram?