Intolerant neighbour disgusted by chalk drawings.

[Milsey13]

We've been living in a lovely community Cresent of flats where everyone knows everyone, families, couples and elderly. Our children are good natured, caring and kind. They play outside together and all neighbours are used to them and love seeing their chalk drawings, especially through lockdown. We have since had a new neighbour. On first meeting he revved his engine and sped up going very close to my son who was chalk drawing, he always moves out of the way but had very little time. My son was a little stunned. The neighbour then walked towards him glaring at him like he was a juvenile delinquent. I looked at him with raised eyebrows and the neighbour started ranting at me that the chalks are disgusting and he's sick of seeing them when he comes home and we should not be playing outside and to go to the park etc etc. He was very aggressive. I suggested he need to be more tolerant as we are a diverse community with families and those without children have always enjoyed their drawings. He said we have no respect and he will be complaining about us etc etc. My son is autistic and very gentle and kind but is now to scared to go outside incase he sees us. I feel the neighbours aggression and driving was far more disgusting than children chalk drawing. My son is known for his amazing drawings and it's been encouraged as part of his play therapy, so it was very confusing that someone would refer to art as disgusting. The irony also is, that my son has a fantastic engineering brain and it turns out the complaining neighbour is an ecologist and environmental engineer promoting a greener future! Yet, he's revving his engines and intimidating young children! I just can't get over it!

[Daisyroseandhyacinth]

Why can’t your son draw in your garden? He shouldn’t be on the road or the driveway. Your neighbour sounds horrible but it’s easily sorted.

[megletthesecond]

Yanbu. The neighbour sounds like an aggressive dick.

I love chalk scribbles on pavements. Makes the place look loved.

[PaddingtonBearStareAgain]

all neighbours are used to them and love seeing their chalk drawings

Pretty sure all neighbours 'love them'. They are just being polite.

[PaddingtonBearStareAgain]

*don't love them

[GlitterSparkley]

This would drive me nuts. Why can’t your child chalk on your own drive/pathway? Communal pavements/roads are not art canvasses.

[Thesearmsofmine]

If he is doing where vehicles are moving around then it’s unsafe. My dc love to chalk and I let them do it on our driveway but not on the pavement as it’s annoying to walk through as it’s gets on your shoes and can transfer onto carpets.

[Thinkbiglittleone]

Our DS does chalk drawings on the pavement in our Cul de sac.
He only does them outside our house, mostly. But if I had no space outside my own home and it was a communal area, yes i would allow him to chalk in an area of that.

I would not let him chalk on the road for his own safety.

I think its clear you mean the man is a bit hypercritical, to be working as an ecologist or a "green" role while doing things like revving his engine that goes against that.

The way you use the description "diverse" I interpret that as that you mean there are all types of families so a lot of others have children and don't mind the chalking and it's not upsetting all the neighbours.

[PinkSyCo]

Lol at those without children always enjoying their drawings. That said, I don’t see any harm and would happily TOLERATE your DS’s works of art on the PAVEMENT. I would be bloody pissed off if I had to dodge running him over on the bloody road though. You need to teach him road sense if you’re allowing him to play out OP.

[Notanotherwindow]

Also your sons autism, intelligence and play therapy are completely irrelevant to the issue?

[BaaCake]

Could you not just ask your son to chalk in your property and maybe check he hasn't drawn anything rude.

[BaaCake]

And you've added a lot of details that seem like weird excuses to me.

[Vallmo47]

I voted YANBU due to the fact that a grown man felt the need to scare a child instead of having a polite word with you as his parent.
Unfortunately I’m with the other posters on a few other points however.

• Your child should only chalk in a safe area, no cars should enter the area at all. This is to keep your child safe - you mention that he’s autistic, does that impact his understanding of danger at all? If yes it’s even more important you teach him to not enter roads. Even if he chalks on a very quiet residential road, if it’s a road card drive on you need to teach him the dangers of being there. Think about when he’s older - have you taught him road safety properly? — Chalk drawings are tolerated at best. I honestly don’t see the problem with them, but the picture you’ve painted is that everyone in your community encourages your son’s chalking. I’m sure they’re just being polite. Whenever I see children drawing with chalk unsupervised I smile politely but in my mind I’m thinking “I hope they don’t chalk on the side of my house/property”.

Good luck with the neighbour, he did overreact and was in the wrong to scare your son. But now you know so maybe you could find another spot for your son to do it in.

[HMG107]

His eye contact was unusual, he has been controlled by his emotions and hasn’t communicated in a way that was effective. It sounds like you might all neurodiverse, have clashing needs and don’t have the skills to work together effectively to resolve
this.

If the boot was on the other foot and the behaviour of a neighbour annoyed your son so he had an emotional outburst at them and then in turn the neighbours reaction was completely out of proportion how would you advise him to behave?

Im a mum to a neurodivergent child. A key issue here is your sons lack of resilience and social skills. As a mum how are you helping him to develop these key skills as this unlikely to be the last time someone behaves in a manner that makes him feel uncomfortable

[Viviennemary]

Drawing in chalk on the road of pavement simply isn't acceptable these days I'm afraid.

[TabithaTittlemouse]

I just had a flashback of being made to scrub the pavement outside our house because I had got carried away and done a big drawing that covered the whole pavement. I must have been no older than 5.

I think where your son is drawing and what he is drawing is important. Why are you allowing him to be so near cars?

[beastlyslumber]

I think your neighbour was rude and bullying. However, I also think you should go round and apologise to him - not because you're in the wrong necessarily, but because that's your best bet for resolving this. Take your kid and some biscuits or something. Apologise for upsetting your neighbour (or "I'm sorry you were so upset..."). Explain that your child enjoys the chalk art and finds it therapeutic. Find out if there's a possibility of compromise - maybe some areas that should be left unchalked, maybe not chalking in the road, maybe hosing it down when finished etc. If the neighbour is decent then he'll compromise with you. If not, then at least you know, and you can make sure your child avoids him in future. Good luck!

[Flatandhappy]

Your neighbour sounds unpleasant but your comments about your son’s artistic capabilities sound delusional.

[Tessasanderson]

YANBU its chalk on the ground for gods sake. Kids have been doing it for decades. As long as your kid is being civil, not blocking his way etc then tell him to do one.

Reminds me of when i was a kid playing in the street with balls with my brothers. A guy moved into our street with his crappy sports car who didnt like us playing. He would rev his engine and late brake when turning into our cul de sac. That was until he saw how big my dad was. We were told to go indoors by my dad and they sorted it out between them. Funny, he never complained again.

[Tessasanderson]

What does it matter about artistic talent? Its a kids doodles for crying out loud. How sad is life that we cant let kids doodle with chalk

[RoseAndRose]

On first meeting he revved his engine and sped up going very close to my son who was chalk drawing, he always moves out of the way but had very little time

Perhaps if your DS wasn't in the way in the first place, there would have been no altercation?

[girlmom21]

Chalking on the road is dangerous and irresponsible. Chalking on the path in this weather isn't great either as people are walking or riding through it. Do you not have a driveway?

[girlmom21]

@RoseAndRose

On first meeting he revved his engine and sped up going very close to my son who was chalk drawing, he always moves out of the way but had very little time

Perhaps if your DS wasn't in the way in the first place, there would have been no altercation?

This comment is ridiculous though. Driving fast and close to a child intentionally is appalling behaviour.

[AncrenneWisse]

Nobody should be driving so fast on a cul-de-sac (assuming that is what OP means by crescent) that they might risk harming children playing (or drawing) in the street.

[JenniferBarkley]

I think chalking on communal paths is absolutely fine, especially if you don't have your own driveway. Your son's artistic skills, scientific mind and SN are all irrelevant to the neighbour's annoyance.

If your son was blocking a route for cars that's neither ok nor safe.

Neighbour sounds like a gobshite.

[lassof]

His eye contact was unusual, he has been controlled by his emotions and hasn’t communicated in a way that was effective. It sounds like you might all neurodiverse, have clashing needs and don’t have the skills to work together effectively to resolve
this

Tbh also my first thoughts.