People who ignore you

[Scarlypopsmummy]

Bit confused by people who will say hi in certain places then ignore you at others. My daughter has music lessons straight after a boy she is at school with. The boys mum had always said hi and we have occasionally had conversations outside the music teacher's house. When I see this mum at school, she actively looks away as if I've never seen her before!
I have experienced it before with another person. I find it a bit unnecessary and confusing that you wouldn't just say hi to acquaintances even if you do barely know them?? Am I being unreasonable to think you can say hi without the need to become friends? I wonder if I come across as over friendly so I feel like I have to scale myself back and now don't speak to the music mum at the lessons and wait in the car.
I understand it's trivial compared to life's problems in general but just interested if other people experience this.

It's strange isn't it. One of the school mums, whose son has been at school with mine for the past five years and lives on the same road as me, won't even look at me. I've tried smiling and saying hello and she totally blanks me. Her husband always acknowledges me though, and her son talks to mine. The weirdest part is that she follows me on instagram, watches all my stories, interacts with my posts, and has done for years! but still won't acknowledge me at all.

I'm painfully aware that I did this. I got on a flight, man sat beside me who looked familiar but I couldn't place him. He chatted away and I was completely confused.

It took two days holiday for me to realise he was our postman.....out of uniform, out of context. It must have been obvious I had no clue. But I certainly didn't intend to be rude.

I dont understand it either. There was one mum who ignored me wherever I bumped into her. School gate, shop, sports day the lot. Yet I saw her talk to others occasionally so not a complete introvert. I gave up in the end as in my mind, she was rude. I do t what was going with her but it wasnt my face to care either.

She would look right at me in the eye and say nothing. People are weird

I‘M another who struggles with facial recognition. Brilliant at remembering names/facts though so once I’ve placed you I’ll remember everything we’ve talked about. If someone smiles and says hi, I absolutely respond but what tends to happen more is I’ll see someone and my thoughts go “do I recognise that person? Maybe. They’re looking at me as though they know me. Or are they looking at me because I’m looking at them? Argh, don’t know” and I’ll smile and walk on.

Yes, I'm exactly the same. I now jokingly tell people they have to come right up to me to say hello (if they want to). Also warn new acquaintances in a jokey way that I may blank them and I absolutely don't mean to!

I often do wonder if there is something bit unusual about my brain tbh, so it's interesting to read a few other people are similar. Like some other posters, I'm also quite short sighted. Not sure if the two things are linked

I do this sometimes. I have ADHD. When I’m doing the school drop off, usually kid has had a meltdown and usually I’m late for work. Sometimes people say hello and there’s some much stuff going on in my brain that it doesn’t even register they have spoken to me until they are gone. I’m sure people think I’m rude, nasty, all the other things people have replied on this thread. It’s not intentional 🤷‍♀️

I know someone like this who only speaks to me if she's with her husband who was my friend but I don't see much of anymore or if I'm with DH. If we're alone she walks right past and pretends not to see me.

I'll always acknowledge a person of they gave sewn me, but ot sometimes fes strange seeing someone out of usual scope..like I don't know what to say. is weird I guess 😂

sorry for typos!

Seeing someone out of uniform is one thing.
But that's not the case here.
The woman is deliberately ignoring the op at the school.

You don’t actually know that tho

OP, if you think it's obvious, don't bother. Keep saying hi outside the teacher's house and then just answer a text whenever you walk past her outside school. I also recommend sunglasses for obvious reasons -you'll look cool and you can see where she is and go distractedly around her without seeing her.

For some of you laughing about face-blindness, let me tell you it isn't nice not to recognise your own GP, family members or even shitty psycopaths you effing can't stand.

My husband has face blindness- unless you have a dog or wear the same coat all the time he won't recognise you! Especially out of context. It's really embarrassing

Or she could just be rude.

For some of you laughing about face-blindness

Have people been laughing at face blindness? I certainly haven't. I wasn't joking when I said I think there is something unusual about my brain which means I don't recognise people immediately. It even takes me a minute with my own son if he's in a crowd of similar aged boys! I can joke about it in a self deprecating way to other people, because frankly, people need an excuse if you blank them ime. Hence the op having to start a thread on here because a vague acquaintance doesn't acknowledge her at school

Oh my goodness! Don't get me started on people changing their hair or their overall style! When people go from wearing a suit to wearing a T-shirt and shorts... they might as well be from another planet! Context is so important because I hardly recognise people but I know where they're supposed to be so I recognise the place rather than the person. I don't want to be crass but I looove peculiar people.

Yes but if there's only a handful of people at music and a swarm of faces on the playground, my husband sees/doesn't see differently.

He knows he sees you at music and you wear a green coat. Or have a pony tail. Playground, you're a blank face! Among 100 others

I struggle to place people out of context and I have a terrible memory so I could totally have a half hour long conversation with you in one place and then not be sure if I knew you the next time I saw you - but if you said hello to me I'd say hello back!

I've met a few people who do this selective ignoring thing and it did seem to be deliberate and so I decided to blank them back. And suddenly, they went back to saying hello! I wonder if it's being back near a school, people seem to revert to playground bullying behaviours.

Yes I'm assuming your DH wouldn't deliberately ignore someone if they said hello.
Whether he could place them or not

Bad eyes? My OP can't always work out who people are from a certain distance

I deal with people like this by just smiling and saying "hi" in a clear voice whilst looking them in the eye.

It doesn't bother me if they don't respond - I have manners and it only serves to show what rude dickheads they are if they don't.

No. But he could well look confused whilst he tries to place you

I second that she might not recognise you out of context. Just say hi to her maybe?

Does face blindness also mean you can’t see people smiling at you? Not being goady, I genuinely wonder if you see a sea of heads without expression.

The same with me! Unlike the standard expression, I never forget a name and never remember a face! About 2 or 3% of the population have this problem in a marked form, and many others have it to some extent.

If they come up to you and say hello, yes. I would never ignore someone who approached me directly, even if I wasn't sure who they were. But often people try to establish eye contact from a distance, which can be very difficult to perceive if one is bad at visual perception, whether specifically of faces, or more generally (e.g. marked short-sightedness).