People who ignore you

[Scarlypopsmummy]

Bit confused by people who will say hi in certain places then ignore you at others. My daughter has music lessons straight after a boy she is at school with. The boys mum had always said hi and we have occasionally had conversations outside the music teacher's house. When I see this mum at school, she actively looks away as if I've never seen her before!
I have experienced it before with another person. I find it a bit unnecessary and confusing that you wouldn't just say hi to acquaintances even if you do barely know them?? Am I being unreasonable to think you can say hi without the need to become friends? I wonder if I come across as over friendly so I feel like I have to scale myself back and now don't speak to the music mum at the lessons and wait in the car.
I understand it's trivial compared to life's problems in general but just interested if other people experience this.

Don't worry it's their problem says alot about them

I get this too, find it so odd! Hoping someone who does this will come on the thread and explain why.

I know what you mean. It certainly is weird and confusing. And I’m autistic and I still think it’s odd! I suppose it could be linked to social anxiety. One day they feel confident enough to say hello but not always.

Sometimes I don't recognise people out of context. I speak to a lady at the tills in the local shop quite a lot (in there daily). When I saw her in the pub once, she smiled and waved. I just couldn't work out who she was.

Only realised when she asked why I had ignored her the next day in the shop.

I have a neighbour who only says hi to me when certain other neighbours are there. She's a twat so I ignore her now unless I have to acknowledge.

This happened to me when dd was younger but it was Brownies and the mum was always pleasant and chatted at pick up but completely ignored me at school. The kids were friends all through school it is a really weird and awkward dynamic. Just be civil and don't worry about it imo it's her not you.

I sometimes find it difficult when people are out of context. Pre-covid, I sat diagonally opposite a lovely woman at work for 2 years. Her face and her voice became very familiar. Yet a few months into the pandemic, I completely blanked her in a supermarket. Luckily she found it funny!

Good point thank you. It may be a lack of recognition out of context.
However I do sometimes feel like I meet more and more people who don't want to have to acknowledge you and are quite insular-neighbours, people on the school run etc.

I have one school mum like this. If we are alone she would act like we were good mates. She would blank me if she was with her friends. Once I went and sat near them at pickup and they went silent until the kids came out. Another time I said something to her because she was standing right behind me and she looked at me like I was a bad smell. Besides that we are FB friends. It's weird and hurtful.

I don't let the behaviour of inconsistent people change what I do. I'd continue saying hi in every situation and ignore that she's being incredibly rude if she blanks you. It pisses off the people who are intentionally snubbing you because it highlights their own shitty behaviour which is an added bonus.

nowt so queer as folk, as they say. people are strange.

OP, I was thinking this exact same thing earlier today.

I have lost count of the amount of times I have said a cheery "Morning!" to several school parents, only for them to totally blank me. It's so obvious I'm speaking to them, as well.

I just don't get it. In my head, it's more awkward to ignore someone who is obviously acknowledging you then it is to do a quick "hello" and pass by?!

People are weird.

I get that some people struggle to recognise others out of context, but it doesn't really add up in these scenarios. If you're at school, and someone who is clearly another parent says hello and smiles at you, and you're aware that you often don't recognise people, then it's not a massive stretch to think "Oh, this must be a fellow school parent who knows me from school. This school, in fact. I'll say hello back. Which would be a fairly civilised way to behave even if we'd never met before."

I have been in that situation too. I just carry on walking by. It is their problem and it just makes them look like a dick.

I sometimes think people are busy and don’t want to bother them so scuttle last quickly. It may not be what you think.

Yes true. I guess it can be that people are busy and are worried they'll get drawn in to a conversation. Just a hello is fine though!
It's a shame as it can be quite hurtful.

There's a mum at the school who looks like she is chewing a wasp if you say hello to her. I just laugh about her tbh, what else can you do. She's the one being ignorant.

Well, I'm slightly face-blind 😁Most people are either extremely memorable or overwhelmingly forgettable. So, I would say hi to everybody at a particular place but if I see them outside that place, I'm pretty much likely to ignore them as I won't recognise them. e.g. I'd say hi to a teacher at school but if I run into them at the supermarket and they're in their weekend clothes I'll likely ignore.
So, if sb ignores you, ignore them back and pretend they're face-blind! And don't bring it up with them as they're likely to want to think you didn't see them ignore them.
Also, some people hate small talk. I'm one of them tbh. I'm a private person which makes people uber curious which makes me even more private as I don't want to share my life with a stranger or an acquaintance.
Keep on saying hi outside the music teacher but play with your phone and lose the small talk.

I'm sure I do this all the time. I have real trouble with face recognition - its a thing. Sometimes people look familiar and I can bluff my way through the chat until they mention something that gives me a clue about who they are. Other times I just don't know we've met or can only narrow them down to a group of 2 or 3 people, and depending on how I feel I either do a non-committal 👋 or just focus elsewhere. I hope people feel sorry for me rather than thinking I'm an offensive dick but I've probably come off as one sometimes!

This week I had a long and exhausting fight to get my 6 year old to school. He’s been assessed for autism and has some other issues going on. He’d kicked me, whacked me and made me chase him. Two parents I know said hi to me as I got him in and I only noticed after they’d gone past, I was so full of stress and exhaustion. You never know what’s going on with people.

@User48751490 we've got one of these wasp chewers at our school 😂More than one actually.... They way they look at you in response to a cheery hello, you'd think you've just called their mother a whore. I just breeze past now. Don't waste my vocal chords....

But yes, OP. I've come across these situations numerous times. I almost come to expect it a bit now.

It's so bad for me now, when I meet people I tell them straight off the bat I'll likely ignore them at some point in the future and they shouldn't feel insulted, it's not personal, I'm face-blind!
It's so embarrassing to just ignore people!

That must be tough. Hope the school run goes smoothly as it can for you tomorrow.
I don't think this type of situation applies in the example I mentioned but certainly could in others.

That must be tough. Hope the school run goes smoothly as it can for you tomorrow.
I don't think this type of situation applies in the example I mentioned but certainly could in others.