Page 6 | Nursery teacher thinks DS has autism

Percythelittletrain · 2022-06-15T17:04:43+00:00

He’s been there two terms. I had a meeting today and they mentioned that they feel he may have autism or ADHD or both. His speech is very advanced for his age, as is his understanding, so I didn’t expect autism at all. Obviously it’s just a possibility at the moment. The reasons she gave were: Unable to follow three steps instructions, needs things broken down Puts everything into his mouth or rubs on his face (very sensory) Struggles with balance using obstacles outside Needs routine He can draw and label pictures and say what he’s drawn. He can recognise most numbers and letters and can write some of them/blend simple words when doing phonics. She’s going to talk to the SENCO and put some targets together. Just wondering if anyone has any experience. I feel a bit overwhelmed.

HSKAT · 18/06/2022 22:56

If you've struggled why would you want your son to?

Being autistic doesn't always cause 'problems in life'

'Normal' what's normal? Your son is who he is, on the spectrum or not, you wouldn't change him?

A diagnosis can change a lot of things, he'll get help where he needs it. He may need help in some areas when he goes to school, but that's not classed as a problem or not being normal.

You need to do some research because the spectrum is big. And what your describing of your thinking of autism isn't the case for everyone.

Yes it's scary and overwhelming, I've felt that. But now, whilst we still don't have a diagnosis yet I embrace my son. He's loving, funny, clever and charms everyone he meets.
My love for him if anything has only grown.

Tigofigo · 18/06/2022 23:17

Percythelittletrain · 18/06/2022 22:24

So did I have ASD as a child based on my behaviours? It’s all just getting so overwhelming.

I always thought of autism as children/adults who can’t communicate properly and are violent and rocking, displaying repetitive behaviour.

I know Chris Packham has Aspergers so I guess I should be thinking more along those lines.

Perhaps naively, I'm really quite shocked that people can still have this perception of autistic children these days.

Of the four autistic children I know, only one had really displayed any repetitive behaviour, one has hyperlexia, two have advanced speech, none rock. All are very bright. None "are violent" although violence can be part of meltdowns when needs are not met etc

Tigofigo · 18/06/2022 23:22

OP friends of mine who have had diagnoses have said it's really helped them understand themselves.

They've realised they are not just shit at life, the reason they've struggled is because they are autistic in a neurotypical-led world, and lots of the things in society we are expected to do aren't particularly easy to deal with for many autistic people (actually they're not ideal for humans in general most of the time).

They've also been able to set up ways to make life easier for themselves (without feeling like a failure because they have to do things differently) and give themselves permission to live life in a way that suits them, rather than trying to "fit in".

For them it's been very liberating.

UndertheCedartree · 18/06/2022 23:29

Percythelittletrain · 18/06/2022 22:34

Of course I don’t want him to be autistic. I think it’ll cause him problems in his life and I don’t want that for him.
He’ll never be ‘normal’ like I’ve never felt ‘normal’ either and I’ve struggled all my life as a result.

I don’t know if I’ve got it or not. I think I’ve got some ND traits. But I still went to university, I’ve got a partner, I’ve had other relationships, I’ve obviously now got a child too. I did reasonably well at school and was in top set for most things, but I have suffered with high anxiety and a feeling of not quite fitting in most of my life. But I’m not sure how a diagnosis (if relevant to me) would have changed anything.

But he is who he is you can't change that by ignoring it. If he is autistic, it's like you saying you don't want him to be who he is. Of course I take your point, it's not nice to think of our DC struggling. But he is more likely to struggle if he is autistic, by you denying it.

I have to say I'm struggling not to take offence at your posts. You seem to think Autistic people are some kind of aliens. Yes, some of us go to Uni, have relationships, children, are in top sets at school, just like anyone. Obviously, noone can say you having a diagnosis would have helped you. But maybe it would (could) validate the way you are and not made you feel you don't fit in. Maybe you would have learnt useful skills and coping strategies. And then maybe you wouldn't be so desperate for your DS to 'fit in'.

I realise this is all quite personal and probably not where you thought this thread would go. You don't need to respond to any of this if you would prefer not to. I hope you are ok. You DS sounds wonderful and I hope if it did turn out he has Autism maybe you won't see it as something so dreadful.

UndertheCedartree · 18/06/2022 23:32

Tigofigo · 18/06/2022 23:22

OP friends of mine who have had diagnoses have said it's really helped them understand themselves.

They've realised they are not just shit at life, the reason they've struggled is because they are autistic in a neurotypical-led world, and lots of the things in society we are expected to do aren't particularly easy to deal with for many autistic people (actually they're not ideal for humans in general most of the time).

They've also been able to set up ways to make life easier for themselves (without feeling like a failure because they have to do things differently) and give themselves permission to live life in a way that suits them, rather than trying to "fit in".

For them it's been very liberating.

That's a really good summary about how diagnosis can be beneficial.

Original poster

Percythelittletrain · 19/06/2022 10:47

Another thing is that he’s not interested in going on a scooter or balance bike. Not sure if that’s a sign of anything.

OP posts:

HSKAT · 19/06/2022 11:05

Percythelittletrain · 19/06/2022 10:47

Another thing is that he’s not interested in going on a scooter or balance bike. Not sure if that’s a sign of anything.

No.
Some kids just aren't interested yet

Supergirl1958 · 19/07/2023 20:44

DrRuthGalloway · 15/06/2022 18:58

OP I work in autism assessment. Just a word of warning, we have had almost a quadrupling of referrals of children, esp under 5s, for ?autism assessment. Many of these are children who have spent almost their whole life up to September in lockdown and esp in only or eldest children we are seeing a lot of children needing more time to develop skills of negotiation, play with others, sometimes language, and attention skills. In many cases these children will develop these skills and are not autistic.

For this reason you may want the setting to put in goals and targets and see how he develops. Or you might want to get him on a referral list, but be prepared for a long wait.

@DrRuthGalloway

sorry to revive ghost thread! If you are still on mumsnet? Would you say Covid has impacted development in some children?

I have different professionals saying different things about my DS, some say he could be ND and others him NT. Speech therapy assessment has flagged up social and communication needs around play and listening and attention.

DS showed great L&A skills when his teachers came on Monday, but not around the speech and language therapist, who was trying to engage him in toys he wasn’t interested in.

There are concerns with language processing, sometimes he repeats back what has been said (but all the adults around him do that too) but he can initiate conversations and understands questions asked of him.

He plays with and alongside his peers (in a way that is typical of those his age…I have observed this)

im tying myself in knots because different professionals are saying differing things and I feel uncertainty about his future.

any advice please?

UndertheCedartree · 27/07/2023 19:43

Having autism doesn't mean that the child can't be bright. My DS had no speech delay, highly intelligent etc. Surprised an ex SENCO would say he can't be autistic if he has no speech delay.

DrRuthGalloway · 28/07/2023 07:07

Supergirl1958 · 19/07/2023 20:44

@DrRuthGalloway

sorry to revive ghost thread! If you are still on mumsnet? Would you say Covid has impacted development in some children?

I have different professionals saying different things about my DS, some say he could be ND and others him NT. Speech therapy assessment has flagged up social and communication needs around play and listening and attention.

DS showed great L&A skills when his teachers came on Monday, but not around the speech and language therapist, who was trying to engage him in toys he wasn’t interested in.

There are concerns with language processing, sometimes he repeats back what has been said (but all the adults around him do that too) but he can initiate conversations and understands questions asked of him.

He plays with and alongside his peers (in a way that is typical of those his age…I have observed this)

im tying myself in knots because different professionals are saying differing things and I feel uncertainty about his future.

any advice please?

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Hi, sorry, been out of the country. Still here, intermittently.

You don't say how old your DS is.

However, someone had referred him to speech therapy as a preschooler, so someone other than speech therapy must be concerned?

You say the SALT was trying to engage him with toys he wasn't interested in. The SALT will be more interested in the way he didn't engage than that he didn't engage with the particular toys. For example a 3 year old, if I tried to interest them in feeding a doll - if they pushed it away, said "no like it", or "I don't like dolls", or shook their head and brought me a train over to show me, that's all social interaction rejecting the dolls. Just not coming over at all, or ignoring me trying to show them the doll or turning their back on me is more of a concern. In the first scenarios, they are rejecting the dolls. In the second, they are rejecting the interaction. If I had offered a train or something they liked, would they come for the train, or to interact with me? Is their speech knowledge and content focused? Does he enjoy enormously looking at categorisation of objects in a class (eg dinosaurs, animals, trains?)

Sometimes you do just have to watch and wait, especially with the post covid kids. I can't give you firm answers. However, just a way of helping you keep an open mind - speech therapists generally better informed on neurodiversity markers than teachers.