Nursery teacher thinks DS has autism

[Percythelittletrain]

He’s been there two terms. I had a meeting today and they mentioned that they feel he may have autism or ADHD or both.

His speech is very advanced for his age, as is his understanding, so I didn’t expect autism at all. Obviously it’s just a possibility at the moment.

The reasons she gave were:

• Unable to follow three steps instructions, needs things broken down
• Puts everything into his mouth or rubs on his face (very sensory)
• Struggles with balance using obstacles outside
• Needs routine

He can draw and label pictures and say what he’s drawn. He can recognise most numbers and letters and can write some of them/blend simple words when doing phonics.

She’s going to talk to the SENCO and put some targets together.

Just wondering if anyone has any experience. I feel a bit overwhelmed.

Please remember that asd is a spectrum, all children present differently. Many children with ASD are sociable for example.

My advice... Assessment takes an age, I'd request a referral otherwise by the time you then decide would like you'll be further down the line.. You could always review once the appointment arrives.

A nursery is unlikely to mention anything without significant concerns ime. They're professionals and see countless children, noticing things the parents are oblivious to, ignore or explain away...

ASD isn't something to be devastated over per se and higher functioning is very different to what would have been the stereotypical power functioning autistic many will have been aware of...

This happened to my DD when she moved up to the pre school room. We had always thought that she was quirky and it was a terrible shock.
She was very similar to your son. The SENCO arranged for an Ed psych to attend and an EHCP was put into place ready for when she started school. She also was diagnosed in the August before she started school.
She's now doing very well at mainstream school.

It's definitely worth taking them up on everything they're offering to do, identifying SEN the earlier the better makes such a difference to the outcome for the child.

My child started school nursery age 3, and in the first week they told me they suspected ASD and asked to refer for an assessment.

He was diagnosed by age 4, and now he's getting ready to start year one he has an ehcp, a keyworker, a diagnosis and an individual learning plan. They intervene when things get too much for him and know exactly how to help him.

Had I said watch and wait/see how he goes, we would possibly be stuck on a waiting list and not getting the support he turned out to so desperately need in his reception year.

Like pps have said, id get the ball rolling for assessment as soon as you can as it can take an age. It's taken 8 months for us to get an initial appointment through since DS was referred, the appointment was for next week and I had a call yesterday to say they'd have to reschedule so we could be waiting a long time again.

also worth googling infant reflexes not going dormant.

It might be ASD, it might not be. But having that flagged now is an advantage OP. You can take a wait and see approach, but if you do decide an assessment would be useful please be aware of the ridiculous waiting list times in some (most) areas.

Your DS similar to mine at that age. I went with wait and see for a while, and eventually decided an assessment wouldn't hurt. That was almost 4 years ago and we're still waiting.

It doesn't hurt to get on the waiting list and turn down the assessment later on and I wish we'd done this sooner. Private assessments are ££££.

Thanks for all the replies.

Those who have said their child has an EHCP plan, what kind of things are on there?

Another thing is that he can write his own name already, plus some other things. He likes the TV programme Ben and Holly at the moment and he wrote ‘Ben’ this morning independently then told me what he’d written.

@hammsalllad what’s on his EHCP plan? If you don’t mind me asking and what does his key worker do? Is that like a one to one? I don’t feel he needs that sort of support, but maybe a key worker is different?

@Percythelittletrain

Look up Asperger’s syndrome; this diagnosis is no longer used with everyone being under the same autism umbrella, but it could more accurately describe your son.

Ours progressed pretty normally, save for a few accent and balance problems, until about 3, then we realised he had quite big sensory issues, problems with transitions and socialisation…. I had pushed multiple times with the health visitor but she disregarded my concerns until his nursery teacher identified same and phoned her. I remember my heart sinking when she told me to contact an autism charity for advice….

However, my little boy is amazing, as is yours. Life is a bit more hard work than we thought, but every child presents a challenge of some sort at one point or another so don’t be deterred. The fantastic thing is that this has been identified early, which allows you opportunity for support and intervention from the beginning.

I’ll send you a to do list of various things I did to get DS and us help/support, breaking it down into manageable chunks and giving myself a framework to work from made me feel more in control and less overwhelmed.

Don’t panic you will get there, and he can still have a good life and achieve with support. 🤗

I often think my nephew has some sort of ASD. He was very slow to talk ( although he's very advanced now aged 6) v limited range of food that he eats and WILL NOT sit beside anyone if they are eating something he doesn't like the look/smell off. He prefers to play alone and will walk away from other kids if they try to play. He almost appears to be in his own wee world playing alone. Autism seems to run strongly in his mums side of family so I won't be surprised if he is.

Children with what would have been called aspergers back in the day are generally very bright at a young age.
My son could read, write, count add, subtract etc all before starting nursery. I never taught him any of those things.

Oh also just to add something else. He was not a delayed talker. In fact he spoke quite early.

Neither was my son, or me or my middle child who's currently going through diagnosis.
The vast majority of people I know with high functioning autism actually spoke early and had a huge vocabulary from a young age.

With all due respect, you seem to be inferring that autistic children cannot be intellectually gifted.
That is wrong.
As I said before.
It is a spectrum.
I have known autistic children who could manage any calculation in their head fairly instantaneously. Others, cannot manage to communicate.
Indeed, if those children I know that we're incredibly early with development such as speaking, reading and writing, well over a third were at some point diagnosed as being on the spectrum.
I taught previously as well as having multiple members of the family on the spectrum.

You need to remember OP even if your DS does end up with a diagnosis, be it ASD, ADHD or anything else he's not going to suddenly change. He'll still be the same boy he was the day before. He will just have the power going forward to make sure his needs are met.

I'm our experience we heard a lot about how a diagnosis doesn't unlock support and that school (which was the big problem at the time) will meet her needs without it. The reality was there was no funding, not enough staff and no resources to make even the simple changes she needed and so the school simply didn't as there was nothing in place to make them.

We home Ed now which has been the best choice for us but her diagnosis makes things like hospital appointments much easier

Mentioned to PIL tonight (MIL was a SENCO before she retired) and they both said it was ridiculous and totally jumping the gun considering he’s not been there very long and the traits of ASD such as speech and understanding delay are not present. In fact he’s very ‘on the ball’ or you might say ‘sharp’. His memory is amazing too.

I feel like maybe organising another meeting with the teacher, me and his dad go this time and find out a bit more as to why they are thinking this way.

Omg the school senco was literally the most useless person in the world regarding our child. And tbh I’m really surprised that your MIL as a senco is not aware that some autistic children have excellent communication skills and understanding. My own child had extreme advanced speech, and such incredible insight that it blew me away at times (conversations with a preschooler about the ethics of displaying Egyptian mummies in museums when consent from the person cannot be obtained, discussions on the various merits of torture vs the death penalty - fwiw he thinks torture is the more effective punishment, all driven by him).

you have a scenario where an educator is telling you that they see unusual behaviour in your child. It costs you nothing to start the assessment process. He won’t get a diagnosis if there isn’t one there.

Tbh ,I would keep an open mind at this stage, the nursery have noticed something and they have flagged it up, it might be autism it might not be anything ,I'm coming from a very different perspective, as my child has severe non verbal autism and learning disabilities and I was adamant in the early days that there were no issues
It's good that the nursery have flagged up potential issues but ot could or might not be anything
Regarding an EHCP they should be very individual to the child to reflect their needs

I don't know why you keep insisting that there needs to be some sort of learning difficulty or delay in speech or memory.
As I've already said, my eldest was especially bright. The teachers noticed it when he was playing with peers. He would dominate the game and only want to play his way. He would also play with imagination toys in a different way to other children.
If you didnt know any better you would just assume my son at the time was an exceptionally bright child.

Considering your MIL was Senco I would have assumed she would know a speech delay or an understanding delay aren't the only triggers? And they can be great in those areas and struggle in others?

I was in denial at first too, this may be all or nothing op but you have to keep a very open mind and stop shutting things down.
It's nurseries job to look out for these things.

Just to add, you say he's been there two terms and that's not long enough so they are jumping the gun.
You have to remember they study and work to pick up these signs and it can be very obvious to them, but not to us.

Thank you Dr Ruth

I think it is hard when all info is about speech delay/routines/stims etc.
It makes you feel even if you have concerns then its not asd or you wont and arent believed.

My child had no speech and understanding delay. He can recall memories from when he was less than 1 yr old in fine detail. He can also memorise entire sections of script from books and films.

Autistics can be incredibly intelligent people. I am one and I have first class degrees… similar to DC in terms of no speech/language delay and excellent memory.

For you to see it - Aside from a further meeting - I would recommend seeing how he is at say a football or rugby class by comparison to other children. And see how he is in larger groups of children too, like a church mums and tots. Also change his routine - drive a different way or mix up the day from what you normally do.
None of these actions will cause harm, increasingly flexibility by switching up routine is good as is increasing socialisation, but it’s where you’d typically see signs more openly at 3.

At 3, he may seem eccentric/bright and you can write off most of it, but at 4, if it’s there he will start to struggle quite openly.

@CaptainBeakyandhisband

conversations with a preschooler about the ethics of displaying Egyptian mummies in museums when consent from the person cannot be obtained, discussions on the various merits of torture vs the death penalty - fwiw he thinks torture is the more effective punishment, all driven by him

Our little chatterbox is quite obsessed with politics surrounding the war in Ukraine; wanted to know specifically which countries in NATO and the population size of this vs Russia/its potential allies. Also focuses on the ethics of farming, adaptations/specialisms in dinosaurs, anything Lego but specifically Ninjago, in-depth conversations about life and death. All that.

😴

Of course I can't say if he has autism but none of the things you say preclude autism. Myself and my son are both autistic and also very intelligent.