Nursery teacher thinks DS has autism

[Percythelittletrain]

He’s been there two terms. I had a meeting today and they mentioned that they feel he may have autism or ADHD or both.

His speech is very advanced for his age, as is his understanding, so I didn’t expect autism at all. Obviously it’s just a possibility at the moment.

The reasons she gave were:

• Unable to follow three steps instructions, needs things broken down
• Puts everything into his mouth or rubs on his face (very sensory)
• Struggles with balance using obstacles outside
• Needs routine

He can draw and label pictures and say what he’s drawn. He can recognise most numbers and letters and can write some of them/blend simple words when doing phonics.

She’s going to talk to the SENCO and put some targets together.

Just wondering if anyone has any experience. I feel a bit overwhelmed.

He's still very young then. I would ask GP or health visitor for advice. You say he's very sociable so that's a good sign. Good luck!

Not read the thread but my son has ADHD and suspect ASD (awaiting the diagnosis- his choice)
My son completed mainstream school, got all his GCSEs, attends college independently, is applying for university next year and holds down a part time job.

Yes he needs extra guidance and support but this additional "qualities" haven't stopped him, we have all just learnt to adapt

OP, our health visitor said this about my DS.when he was 3. But he passed the MChat and calmed down a lot when we were more boundaried (using timers etc to help with transitions) so we also did, "wait and see". Well, now he's 7 and it's becoming very clear he does have some sort of neurodiversity. We should have pursued it, we've missed out on years of learning and support and now have a very anxious child.

If Nursery have concerns, there's likely to be something worth investigating. They will have seen children with ADHD, autism, developmental delay etc lots of times and will have spotted some signs in your DC. If it's nothing then it's nothing and if he does need extra support it will be put in place nice and early.

I think the spectrum of autism is so wide that it doesn't always present as you would expect. Both my son and nephew are the same age with moderate autism and yet their needs couldn't be more different. My nephew sounds very like your son highly intelligent and social but has issues with his balance, can become very frustrated if things aren't done a certain way and becomes very unsettled when outside his routine. Getting an assessment of need will help to determine what if any supports your son needs.

I've known my DS isn't entirely NT since he was about 8m. It still came as a shock when his nursery teacher said it. He's reception now, has had an IEP September and has extended provision twice a week.

I know everything is called ASD now but in "old labels" he very likely has Asperger's. He'll probably be assessed for an EHCP at some point (the waiting list is long). But he's happy and bright and enjoys school. He struggles with instruction following of they're given in more than one or two, but is a stickler for rules. He's got a sticker chart for doing things in the classroom and a basic now/next routine chart. Little things like that help hugely.

You're basically describing my DD(6) at the same age. Reading and writing by 3, started reception being able to read anything you put in front of her, has an insane memory for facts, etc. However, she struggles socially, doesn't understand people's emotions, doesn't deal with change to routine and has always been absolutely hopeless physically. Also very, very easily distracted and tantrums a lot especially if we suddenly need to make a change to plans or instructions. She's currently half way through the ASD pathway.

My DS was flagged by nursery and having some issues with following instructions and routines even though he was well ahead with counting and recognising letters etc.
Further issues were flagged when he started school nursery and by Yr 1 he'd been referred by school for assessment even though he'd been reading books fluently since reception with a reading age well above his actual age. He was given an ASD diagnosis at the age of 6.

But, he's done and undergrad and masters degree, lived at least 3 hours away from home whilst doing them and has held down a number of temporary jobs and now a ft office job which involves dealing with lots of different people.

Try not to panic OP. Flagging issues just means that things can be monitored and specific support put in place to help your child achieve the goals. If further assessments are required then there will be evidence to back that up or if your child meets the goals then no further action will be required.

It could be me writing your post. My then 3 year old did a term at pre school before they brought me in for a chat about their concerns. He was (and still is) very articulate and academically bright however his social skills and communication skills were not where they should have been at his age. He was also incredibly uncoordinated!

I am a fully qualified early years teacher and I didn't see it however I knew the importance of early intervention. By going with their concerns he got diagnosed with the early years teams rather than waiting for CAHMS which takes much longer. This meant that he went into school with funding in place already and he is doing really well in mainstream school.

They can put everything in place that will help your child regardless of diagnosis. It's the same child you had before they just need support in specific areas- diagnosis or not you would still support them in parts they find difficult.

@DrRuthGalloway

I was going to suggest as to whether Lockdown had been taken into consideration?
As a Nursery Teacher of 20+ years I have spent the last academic year ' banging on' about it and the effect on development it appears to have had.
Lots of my children in my class are a very different kettle of fish from the usual.
They have struggled with taking instructions, sharing, balance etc.
All the developmental ' norms' have been later in the year- if at all.

I think it's appalling that someone is so eager to diagnose a three year old who seems to function perfectly well.

Hi there,

I understand your shock but I think it is great that nursery have raised their concerns at this stage. My eldest was diagnosed at 4 after being under assessment from 21 months. He taught himself to read and write at 2 and is top of his class at a selective grammar. However, he has many difficulties with anxiety, socialisation and as he got older his 'traits' have only become more obvious. Many friends and some family were adamant that it was just that he was so clever when he was younger but can't deny it now! Although he is academically 'gifted' he has classroom support to help with his organisation and his emotional.health.

The autism specialist doctor warned me that extremely bright children with autism are more likely to have severe mental health issues when they get older so having the right support in place from now could help with accessing important services later.

My daughter is 6 and at a special school, she has some other issues apart from autism but is really sociable, caring and sweet and her asd diagnosis has been doubted, she can mask really well. Both kids are clumsy!

One thing I've learned and now understand as I am on the spectrum too, is that acceptance, especially self acceptance is super important to emotional wellbeing. I'm so proud that my son is an autism advocate, he understands that he processes things a little differently and that is not a bad thing!

Good luck!

A nephew of mine is neurodiverse and was diagnosed aged 4. He was able to have support throughout his schooling and now is an adult in a good well paid job.

I think you should seek a diagnosis to confirm if this is correct with your DS.

But he isn’t functioning well in some aspects - that’s what the nursery is suggesting.

I wouldn't worry it's just observation/targets at the moment, it may come to nothing.. Great that teacher is so aware and on the ball because if there is any nd early intervention is key. If they do feel there's need they will refer for assessment this will involve an appointment with a relevant professional, ours was with a paediatrician who then put ds on pathway. 14m later he had an assessment with Ed psyc, salt and early years teacher plus he saw an ophthalmologist, had hearing checked and blood work done. All in all the process took about 18m and was very thorough. I'd take it a stage at a time and follow senco/schools advise. It might be helpful to do a bit of reading on autism/adhd in meantime but remember even if down the line there is a diagnosis it doesn't change anything your child is still the same awesome human you created.

He's very very bright and generally pretty happy but does struggle with the social skills a bit and is hypersensitive to noises and can never keep still. The school is giving him some extra support. I think he's coasting for now and he is very cute so can get away with a lot now. Do worry more for the future as he has to sit still in class more and unintentional cheekiness gets seen as troublemaking.

DS1 was assessed at 4 because of nursery concerns. The high level assessment concluded ‘lots of ASD traits present but very bright so will cope’. And yes, he’s flying academically (now 9) but also now has a recent ASD diagnosis. Which means that his school (who eventually also raised concerns) have a great list of minor adjustments to help him. I see the diagnosis as a combination of helping us all to understand him and also giving him a little bit of protection. The thing that shocked us however was the revelation of how anxious he is…he’d been masking that both at school and at home. The diagnostic process uncovered it and he’s now much more honest with us at home, which can only be a good thing. Being poleaxed is normal, take a deep breath and try not to fret. Good luck!

School has concerns due to some of his behaviours ? It's just observation at this stage. Diagnosis takes a long time and requires assessment by a number of qualified professionals it's not labelling.

If the Op,s child is autistic,then it is always helpful to get support in place ASAP he will only get a diagnosis if he meets the criteria

With neurodiversity the issue often is holding things in your working memory, not that you don't understand.

So I think that's what they're referring to.

I have a very high IQ but can't hold things in my working memory very well due to ADHD.

My short term memory is fine (this is the type of memory you use if someone tells you their phone number and you repeat it to yourself until you can write it down).

My long term memory is fine, I have no problems revising for exams for example.

I think of working memory as kind of mental sticky notes where you put things like 'Need to grab my laptop before I leave', 'Need to remember to buy Mum's birthday card in town tomorrow', 'Must remember that I have an appointment at 2pm'.

My sticky does not work on my mental sticky notes so they all just fall off

It can also be immediate - as in DH will ask me to do something and I agree. I get distracted for 5 seconds and I've totally forgotten. Happens to everyone occasionally but happens to me all the time.

Is this what's happening with your DS - he's given instructions, got distracted (let's be honest there's a lot going on when you're surrounded by lots of other kids) and he's forgotten?

I would definitely follow up, I'd give everything to be able to go back in time and have someone pick up on my daughter's symptoms. She wasn't diagnosed with ADHD and subsequently Autism until she was 14. They kept putting everything down to glue ear and the subsequent pockets of learning missed. Granted it's harder to find in girls due to masking, and they day dream rather than becoming hyperactive, but nonetheless she's missed out on nearly all of her school's support that she should have been given. She's only now, at the end of year 9 been assessed by a Speech Language therapist.

Therefore (& I know it's very overwhelming) but you and your son are in an excellent position, he'll get all the help and support he needs throughout his schooling to help him reach his full potential and in his communication etc. If he's assessed and they find nothing then you've lost nothing.

As someone who has only been diagnosed as an adult I couldn't disagree more with the PP who finds it 'shocking'.

Why is it shocking?

Our brains work differently...knowing that is infinitely helpful.

How this is dealt with from a young age will probably have a huge impact on whether someone sees themselves as 'stupid, lazy, socially inadequate, insert other shit thing here' and develops MH issues and low self esteem

OR

Gets the opportunity to understand themselves and how our ND brains work, can make the best use of strengths we have that NT brains dont have and how to work around the challenges.

I do think that it would be helpful to see it in this kind of balanced way rather than as a purely negative thing if it's in the context of relative high functioning (obviously ASD can severely impact functioning and I'm not suggesting those individuals or their parents are wrong if they feel there aren't any benefits)

It's good that nursery are spotting things that are a bit "off" and looking into action plans, but stating likely ASD/ ADHD is jumping the gun at this stage. Things could come together with time and targeted approaches or there may be other factors such as dyspraxia or hearing in the equation, and this is why a referal/ diagnosis process is not quick because lots of different factors need investigating.

DS was diagnosed at 8/9, and it was his behaviour at 7 that led me to a referral. It was screamingly obvious that he was dyslexic by then, but even when I sat down and mind-mapped his characteristics on just about everything and found that they clustered into themes of sensory/ communiation/ routines/ interests/ personal care, then the GP was very obliging about referring on, I was still winded about actually having a diagnosis. Part of it was actually someone willing to "see" the things that were off about DS as he masks well.
He's 11 and is mostly delightful (when not doggedly bickering with his brother). He's doing well at school and if we get through the education system well, he's got a good chance of finding a nice DS shaped niche in life and doing well for himself.
Diagnosis or not, he's DS and I love him, but what the diagnosis gives is a reason for some of his struggles, reactions and a map of how to make life a bit better for him.

I think it's good that nursery have picked something up early, as a PP mentioned the waiting lists are huge and especially if it's not very serious. It will damage his self esteem at school too be constantly told of for things which are beyond his control and this is where a diagnosis or even suspected diagnosis can help teachers who are dealing with many children to be more patient and understanding. Nursery is one thing, school is a different kettle of fish, and can be very dependent on great teachers who 'get' children. Unfortunately they aren't all like this, so pieces of paper with explanations and strategies definitely help.

Have a look at Hyperlexia, especially type 3.