To think we’ll have to change schools?

[Takemeawayfromthis]

DD is doing GCSEs. She is relentlessly name called and “looked at” by a bunch of girls in her year but recently it has escalated to a bigger and bigger group spanning 3 years. Friday she was threatened in the playground by a big group of them and so she hasn’t been in for two days while the school put some things in place. This morning they ambushed her in her form room and threw water balloons at her and recorded it on their phones. This isn’t going away is it?

Obviously there’s more to it in terms of how it started, things that have happened, how the school are dealing with it etc, but I’m thinking let’s just pull her out before anything worse happens or it affects her mental health. Anyone else been through this?

Remove her. I would also contact the police.

I was bullied at school 30 years ago at least then the bitches didn't have phones to record it on.

Move asap.

I think I was affected for years and it really knocked my confidence

Many kids move schools for sixth form so it would seem like a no brainer in your DDs case. Is she on study leave now? How many more exams to go?

I’d move schools. It will be quicker tht waiting for the school to do “something”. It doesn’t sound like they have much of an idea of what to do if it’s escalating.

I'd be talking to the police and escalating it to the governors.

That is absolutely dreadful. If she wants to leave the school (and who wouldn’t) support her to do so.

Unless dd desperately wanted to stay i would definitely move her asap.

Yes I would move her. I’m not in the U.K. so I don’t fully understand the system but is there not a possibility to move to a senior system / college after GCSE?

I would let her stay off and just study at home between now and the exams and then start afresh elsewhere in September.

She’s year 9. They do 3 years of GCSEs in her school so she’s halfway through some and just started others. She’s open to the idea of moving schools. The school don’t want her to, but I think tough shit, if you can’t deal with this gang all the nice kids will leave and you’ll be left with the shitty ones.

I would contact police, i would make the school aware you have done this. I would be demanding meeting with the headteacher and safeguarding lead at the school. Have you spoken LA schools safeguarding lead? Before thinking of removing her from this school, speak to LA about whether there are schools that will take her, it gets hard to move them around by year 10 because of GCSEs. Also will the problems just follow her if she moves. Often pupils have friends all across local schools, so unfortunately there might be bullying in the new school if the kids tip other friends off. I feel so awful for your daughter, it must be horrendous!

Can you send a strongly worded email to the head and governors and request that she is at home for the remainder of the term as she is unsafe, coming in for GCSEs only - and you’d request that she is supervised at all times(I guess you can’t actually withdraw her from the school at this point without risking exams?). Then move for sixth form.

Sorry a bit stressed and emotional so probably not explaining things very well!

Ah cross post, she’s only in year 9. Find a way to move her.

Yes, get her out before she is permanently bad with her nerves.

Yes now I've seen she's yr 9 just move her! But I'd make sure it was at a school far enough away!

Even if you decide to move schools, involve the police. You would not want another child to have the same treatment, and perhaps the school will start to act against bullying if you do.

I would do all of the following:
Report to police
Report to school governors
Report to head teacher
Move her

You've just written out exactly what happened to me at school, without the recording as we didn't have phones. I was jumped outside school, had water thrown at me, you name it I had it.

I did not have supportive parents. They made me stay at school and try and make friends with the bullies it drove me to attempting suicide. Please pull your poor DD out of this school.

Your poor dd. Yes, move schools asap

Ime that is assault and I would be contacting the police.

Yes I would still move her.

Move her. Life is too short to have ypir life made hell every day

We have a friend in the police who is advising us but he doesn’t think they'll intervene at this stage. I don’t think the bullying would move with her, the ringleader is not as cool as she thinks she is and never says anything to DD if she’s not surrounded by her gang.

I was in a school system where we went from years 1-4, then a different school for years 5-8 and then the final school took years 9-11 plus sixth form.

When I joined the school in year 9, I was relentlessly bullied so I ended up leaving after 5 months. My mum just took the plunge, took me out of school and set me up being home schooled. That September we went to look around another school which I joined and loved, meaning I ended school happily and did well in my GCSEs.

I would say move your daughter, asap. It was the best thing my mum did for me and stopped the bullying in its tracks.

Thank you all. I’m going to look into it today. She’s a good kid honestly, “prefect material” her teachers said. She wonders why she’s so weird and unlikeable and that breaks my heart.