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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not understand why parents hate their kids getting tattoos

285 replies

lailamaria · 15/06/2022 02:36

Obviously this applies to adult children but it's something i've come across a lot and never really understood it, is it because parents feel some sort of ownership over their kids bodies or is it something different.

This isn't a brag or anything but my mum's never been bothered, she has 2 tattoos herself with extremely sentimental meaning (although i think people should get tattoos whether their sentimental or not) and for my sister's 18th she even paid for her to get one as her birthday present.

I understand not liking tattoos on yourself but demanding your adult children don't get them or even talk them out of getting them I think is rather rude when their paying for them themselves with their own money. My aunt used to ask my cousin to cover hers up just because she hated it (it was a flower on her back so it wasn't like the tattoo was offensive.)

I'm not trying to judge truly I personally just find it strange

OP posts:
Marty13 · 15/06/2022 02:46

I personally like tattoos a lot more when they have a strong meaning to whoever wears them.

If my kids want tattoos when they're adult that's fine by me, though I'd want to be sure they've thought it through and won't regret it in 6 months.

But I think my mother would disown us if we got tattoos. Different generation...

Ponderingwindow · 15/06/2022 02:47

I wouldn’t ask my adult child to cover a tattoo, try to talk her out of it, or in any way disparage the choice. I would be internally, and quietly upset. I find the whole idea of taking a healthy body and damaging it by injecting ink to be really odd and careless.

She will be an adult though. She is going to make tons of decisions I disagree with. That is life. You raise your kids to make their own choices. If a tattoo is the worst of them then I should consider myself a very lucky parent.

avamiah · 15/06/2022 02:49

I think sometimes people get them when they are young as in Uni or on a gap year or maybe because their boy/girl friend has one and then after a few years when they are no longer together or they have just got accepted for a great job and they feel like the tattoo is a embarrassment and no longer acceptable.

Sortilege · 15/06/2022 02:52

Ponderingwindow · 15/06/2022 02:47

I wouldn’t ask my adult child to cover a tattoo, try to talk her out of it, or in any way disparage the choice. I would be internally, and quietly upset. I find the whole idea of taking a healthy body and damaging it by injecting ink to be really odd and careless.

She will be an adult though. She is going to make tons of decisions I disagree with. That is life. You raise your kids to make their own choices. If a tattoo is the worst of them then I should consider myself a very lucky parent.

Yes. DD has a couple, and I’ve only ever been positive about them to her, because she’s an adult and it’s her choice and one of them particularly is very good, but inwardly I am ambivalent about the permanence of them. I hope she doesn’t regret them.

Underroad · 15/06/2022 03:00

I’d be upset if my DC got one because I hate how tattoos look and I’d feel it was spoiling his body, but I accept that it’s his choice.

CorvusPurpureus · 15/06/2022 03:01

I wouldn't actively fret about it.

Having said that, a) the tattoo I got as a teenager faded badly. I quite like the cover up job, but I wouldn't be particularly grieved if it disappeared overnight & b) it was a mildly rebellious thing to do in the 80s. Ubiquitous & boring now.

I'd be annoyed if any of them got any sort of job blocker type tattoo, piercing or other modification, to be honest.

Have a dolphin stuck in a dreamcatcher inked on your bum as a souvenir of your gap year - fine, whatever. Tattoo your entire face to look like a rhinoceros & have a fake horn implanted - I do hope you have a life & career path planned that doesn't involve my spare room indefinitely.

fallfallfall · 15/06/2022 03:04

@avamiah , even if it has nothing to do with a job. life moves on and the first bf car make or other silly tattoo, lets include those half finished ones are no longer relevant.
and that's the crux of the issue they are permanent (for the most part) and the waste of money.
btw this does not apply to tribal and cultural tattoo's.

Nightlystroll · 15/06/2022 03:11

Personally I think tattoos look rough and tacky so I wouldn't want my children to get one. Ultimately, though, it's their bodies so it's up to them. It's not like I'd love them less.
My mum felt the same about pierced ears and was so upset when I had mine done. So maybe it's a generational thing.

avamiah · 15/06/2022 03:12

@CorvusPurpureus

Omg , did you see the TV show where the guy had his whole face tattooed and had piercings on his tongue and in his mouth and had horns on his ears ?

I’m not convinced all of it was real as surely the horns were fake?😱

Cameleongirl · 15/06/2022 03:13

I have no problem with tattoos but as I’m now 48 and seeing what they look like on friends’ older bodies, I would warn them to consider the placement.

Smaller ones on firm areas such the wrist still look fine, but tattoos on skin stretched due to weight fluctuations or on areas prone to cellulite, for example, aren’t so great. Someone I know has two ribbons with bows along her inner arms…they looked stretched and saggy now she’s 45, although I’m sure they were fine when she first had them done. ☹️

Minisarerustbuckets · 15/06/2022 03:30

Tats are so played out now though aren't they , as PP said ? Not exactly cutting edge . They just look a bit cheesy. It wouldn't bother me if my weans got tattoos as their choice but it's a bit boring now eh ?

waveyourpompoms · 15/06/2022 03:48

Because they’re ugly. They’re a permanent life choice that will be regretted one day.

Remaker · 15/06/2022 03:49

I dislike tattoos because they are ugly and permanent. They look cliched on young people and just unattractive when you’re older. So yes I would be disappointed if my kids get them. It won’t surprise me if my daughter does but I will strongly counsel her not to get one somewhere highly visible. I’m hopeful that the tattoo trend will begin to die out soon, as all the once young and rebellious types hit middle age and start to sag.

fUNNYfACE36 · 15/06/2022 04:06

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Sally090807 · 15/06/2022 04:10

I’d be more concerned about the ink they use and the fact it enters your bloodstream.

Liorae · 15/06/2022 04:30

Almost everyone I know who got tattoos 20 years ago regrets it. No doubt the cycle will repeat itself.

The Tweety Bird tramp stamp you thought was cool at 18 looks and feels different as an adult.

MrsTerryPratchett · 15/06/2022 05:13

DH has one that I'm sure looked good when not every bloke and his dog had one and it wasn't shit and blurry. He knows, he doesn't want DD to make the same mistake.

Plus, although I don't own her, and her body belongs to her, I did make her from scratch at some considerable effort! It's like building a house with your bare hands and the new owner wants to pebbledash it. They're allowed but you really wish they wouldn't.

Cervinia · 15/06/2022 05:41

I didn’t like DS’s that he got when he just turned 18. I couldn’t see why he would want to ink his perfect body (PFB 😂) with some permanent disfigurement that he may tire of in a few years or grow out of it. He did get a few, and whilst he doesn’t hate them I don’t think he would have them now and has shown no interest in getting any more.

DH did the same at his age, and they’re shit, which may also have swayed my judgement.

Cazzawazzawoowootoo · 15/06/2022 05:41

I also don't understand the hate for tattoos. I don't have any personally because I don't like the idea of the pain, but I wouldn't be bothered if my kids had them. DH has half sleeves on both arms, so he's not really one to judge.

It's interesting that so many people on MN have the opinion that middle aged people regret their tattoos, because that's not the experience of anyone I've encountered in real life with tattoos.

MrsTerryPratchett · 15/06/2022 05:43

because that's not the experience of anyone I've encountered in real life with tattoos.

DH thinks his are shit. And they are!

Winkydink · 15/06/2022 05:46

I think tattoos look tacky and trashy on anyone unless they are cultural tattoos for eg people of Māori or Pacific Island heritage. So I wouldn’t like DC to get tattooed for that reason - they’d look tacky - but it would be their choice. My dad talked me gently out of getting a tattoo when I was 18 and 20+ years later I’m forever grateful.

halfsiesonapotnoodle · 15/06/2022 05:47

My 18 year old has got one, I knew nothing about it, he can do what he likes as it's his body. But, it really looks awful and will be navy blue and smudged eventually, as they all end up. Thank goodness it can be covered by a shirt.

Frenchfancy · 15/06/2022 05:48

Because we have seen as parents how quickly our DCs change their minds. They will be passionate about one thing and the 6 months later change their minds. They fall in love, claim it is forever, then fall out 2 months later.

It is a rare 18 year old who truly knows their mind and hasn't changed it by the time they are 30.

PermanentTemporary · 15/06/2022 05:56

To my mum's generation tattoos were something that meant you were either in the merchant navy or a criminal, possibly in a gang. They were taboo busting back in the day so of course they shocked the older generation, that was the point. Now I'd be a bit sad that my precious baby is old enough to damage himself 😀but they're also ten a penny. I considered getting one after bereavement but in the end don't want a permanent reminder of anything, particularly grief. Life is long and things change.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 15/06/2022 05:58

I think theyre ugly.