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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put ds to bed at 5.30pm, with no dinner, becasue I had had enough of him ?

37 replies

Oblomov · 14/01/2008 17:54

He is nearly 4. He normally goes to bed at 7-7.30. He was VERY tired. He didn't have a nap today.
He was misbehaving when dh and I took him to M&S yesterday. We did talk about " acceptable behaviour".
Today I needed to return an item to Debenhams. He was running round and round and wouldn't stay with me. Then we went to Sainsburys. I took him out of the trolley at the end. He kept touching the pin machine. And then he ran off, from one end of the store to the other. Wouldn't listen or respond.
I got to the car. To find I had left keys at till. And I started to cry.
I phoned dh when I got home and he suggested, as he was obviously tired, and falling asleep, that I put him to bed.
Which I have done. He hasn't had any dinner.
Why has he run me so ragged ?
Was it bad of me to put him to bed?

OP posts:
Maidamess · 14/01/2008 17:56

Of course it wasn't bad of you to put it to bed. Sometimes you've just got to cut your losses and do what works, rather than what you 'should' be doing.

Just make sure you're prepared for a possible early start tomorrow, with a very hungry boy!

alittlebitshy · 14/01/2008 17:56

No no no not at all bad.

we did this with our dd who is 4.6 for the first time just before xmas.

At the least he'll remember that you carried through and that his actions DID have consequences....

LilRedWG · 14/01/2008 17:57

Not at all bad. It's probably what both you and DS need.

Pour yourself a huge glass of wine and put your feet up!

CarGirl · 14/01/2008 17:57

no but don't be surprised if

a) he wakes a little earlier than normal tomorrow

b) he is very hungry and eats lots

I think many of us have had days like this and sometimes it is just about the only thing you can do!

MrsTittleMouse · 14/01/2008 17:58

DD goes a bit early if she hasn't had her nap and is obviously tired (she's younger than your DS). Sometimes they get so tired and grumpy that it is cruel to keep them up, and no-one could blame you for being completely fed up yourself.
I would never put her to bed without dinner though, because she would wake up early due to hunger!

Sibble · 14/01/2008 17:58

no, I do it all the time, if they're tired, they're tired and if you're knackered, you're knackered. Better all round to have a fresh start tomorrow. BTW they do wake starving .

Original poster
Oblomov · 14/01/2008 18:01

Dh said , put him to bed, get yourself a smirnoff ice and go on mumsnett.
Bless him.
He has a ferocious appetite and I am a bit worried about the no dinner.
But thanks for making me feel a bit better.

OP posts:
needmorecoffee · 14/01/2008 18:01

shopping is pretty dull for a tired hungry 4 year old. Probably why he was misbehaving.
I also don't think 4yo's understand 'consequences' but putting him to bed cos he's falling asleep is ok although he'll be starving tomorrowPutting him to bed as a punishment on the other hand woulnd't make any sense as a 4yo wouldn't relate running around at the shop to going to bed as a 'punishment'.

flyingmum · 14/01/2008 18:01

No. In the big scheme of things 'tis but a small smudge. He'll wake up at 5.00 though STARVING . Oh happy days (she says smugly - don't get to be smug often )

Most mums have done it. Sanity matters more than dinner. I did this once to one of mine and he slept through till 9.00 am!!!! I kept having to go in and check that he was breathing. Is your little chap sickening for something? Toddler man flu coming on perhaps might account for revoltingness or else a growing phase (revoltingness + tiredness).

Good luck.

AuraofDora · 14/01/2008 18:02

ds is nearly four, 3.9, and has some horrendeous behaviour that seems to be centered on shops ...refusing to go in and screams etc
i do understand cause i think its dull too
i dont know if that has something to do with it..i try alternate his shop my shop, just to keep it bribable and to do what i need to..

bed sounds good if he needs it but agree mrstm, i would've tried to give him something to eat, a banana even, to get through the night with unbroken sleep..

SayNOtothecookieRookie · 14/01/2008 18:03

Oh gosh I'm just wondering if I can do the same to DS aged 22mths, not for any misdemeanour but poor sod has been teething and has been in pain and consequently a pain all day. I'm getting a few minutes reprieve at the minute as he has been sooo clingy. I'm only keeping him up in the hope that I can get some milk down him before putting him to bed.

MrsTittleMouse · 14/01/2008 18:03

I like your DH.

Original poster
Oblomov · 14/01/2008 18:06

Thank you Mtm. So do I !!!! Bless him, he knows what to do for the best

OP posts:
SheikYerbouti · 14/01/2008 18:08

No deffo n0t bad

Mine have gone to bed without their supper beforer when theuy have been knackered

I weigh it mup, what do they need more

Missing 1 meal isn';t going tpo hurt

VeniVidiVickiQV · 14/01/2008 18:10

not bad at all

VeniVidiVickiQV · 14/01/2008 18:10

You sound like you could do with an early night too

Original poster
Oblomov · 14/01/2008 18:11

Don't worry, I have eaten his dinner.
I am sitting here with sausages , mash and peas, and my second smirnoff ice.
Dh is right, the si & mumsnet has made me feel so much more relaxed !!!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Oblomov · 14/01/2008 18:12

Sausages & mash are the ultimate comfort food, aren't they?

OP posts:
VeniVidiVickiQV · 14/01/2008 18:13

Oh it sure is.....

Reamhar · 14/01/2008 18:19

YANBU. Exactly the same thing happened in our house tonight after my 4 year old?s shenanigans. The only difference is that he has been double busted with no telly tomorrow. The little git darling has been in bed about 20 minutes and my blood pressure is only just returning to normal.

Original poster
Oblomov · 14/01/2008 18:26

Reamhar, I told him when I got home: " yesterday in M&S, today, made me cry, unacceptable,... blah blah, blah no tv"
He knows!!

OP posts:
Habbibu · 14/01/2008 18:28

Your DH is lovely! Hope you're having a peaceful evening. Tomorrow will be better...

michtenstein · 14/01/2008 18:33

My dd1 is very hyper at the best of times but if she is hungry or (worse) tired then its pandemonium and I feel like I am trying to juggle a cat and a doberman.

We just had to do a last minute dash today before their dinner for milk and food and it was horrible - I should have just given them peanut butter sandwiches. So I feel for you.

shatteredmumsrus · 14/01/2008 18:41

I wish my 2 sons were in bed.AGGGGgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

needmorecoffee · 14/01/2008 19:51

wish my dd (3.10) went to bed at a decent time. But its about 10 ish. She needs various meds and physio before bed. Can't sleep alone so I have to go up with her as she has seizures. We never get an evening alone and I never get to finish watching films. Then she's up half the night with bloody muscle spasms.
She screams in shops too and we have everyone tutting at the wheelchaired one.
Am fed up and want to scream!