It's an inheritance one

[Pupdate292]

I'll just type out the scenario and leave it to the vote, I'm a relative to someone in the family and I'm kind of stuck in the middle of it all. Just looking for an outsiders perspective.

So the man has 2 daughters from his first marriage. He re marries a divorcee who has a 2 year old son. His girls are around 8 years old at this point. They all have a happy upbringing, the man is close to his girls and also treats his step son as his own. His 2nd wife does the same with her step daughters.

Fast forward to today. The daughters are both happily married to very wealthy men, want for nothing. The son is also happily married, not as wealthy but has a mortgage on his own home, is in a good job, enjoys holidays abroad etc.

The man has sadly died and left nothing in his will to his daughters. It's all been left to his 2nd wife and son.

Yanbu- that's wrong, he should have left something to the daughters even though they are now very wealthy

Yabu-the daughters don't need the money, he was right to leave everything to his 2nd wife and her son as their need is greater.

However much or little you have it is only responsible to make sure you put your affairs in order in a timely fashion and educate yourself about the law so that your wishes are clear and will be carried out. Also, ensure that you do not leave your family with a tax bill that they will have to take out a loan to pay. Unless you actually want to give your assets to the government, it is important to make sure you know how to manage your estate. Even if you don't have much to leave, make sure it goes to the people you choose, not to others because you couldn't be bothered to organise it.

@Caughtshort but he did organise it - it’s just that his DDs don’t like what he chose to do. Tbh I don’t expect to inherit off my parents as they’re broke 😁 and I think it’s quite entitled to expect to inherit - what if he wanted to give it all to the donkey home or whatever? It’s his money, his choice.

As long as that was his wish then that is fine. I know several people (all children of first families) whose parent remarried and didn't make a will. It isn't even about money, it is about things of great sentimental value, often the belongings of either deceased parent, being thrown out or sold by the second family. These are the people I am thinking of.

If 2nd wife is executor, she is legally obliged to execute the will as written

Not true if she and her son as the only beneficiaries agree to vary the will. It’s called a deed of variation.

Lots of wisdom in this.

The father is a shithouse and so is the step mother if she treated them like her own she would have factored that in her own will. I'm not surprised they are hurt.

I think that this does show how important it is to explain, either before you die, or in your Will, your reasoning, if you plan not to leave anything or to leave very little to someone very close in blood ties. If I felt I had to leave more to one than to another due to differing needs, I'd explain why and probably leave a token amount or some special object to the wealthier ones to assure them of my affection. However, if there has been fighting or estrangement, explanation would be an option I'd consider, but might not bother with.
I'm changing my will soon to reflect changes in family dynamics- some younger family members now being of age and not needing money to be protected until they get older, for example, and removing those who haven't been bothered to keep in touch (we have no kids of our own to inherit directly). It's important to keep Wills up to date as things change.

My dad left everything including my mums Knightsbridge flat to my step mum. Time will tell what happens. In theory she'll leave it to her grandkids of which there are 11. In practice I think she'll either leave it to my elder brother or her boyfriend.

Rumor has it she changed her will a lot. We all keep in touch with her a lot. And she's been a great step mum to me. But it does sting.

My dad inherited so much property in London it beggars belief. I try not to think about it.

Fathers are often careless with their families, and it seems this happens in death as well as life.

He had a wife, he died, everything is hers, irrespective of the children. The son and daughters don’t get anything unless there is a large excess that the wife doesn’t need and that isn’t partly hers.

but…he could have had his will set up that his half of their house be given to his three children (biological or not) but with a provision in place that it cannot be sold until the wife dies.

my nana left her house to me, my sister, and my cousin. But, because my uncle lived there and had some additional needs, the will stipulated that we could only sell it when he no longer needed a place to live.

The stepmother is still alive, and any will of hers is still an evolving document. The contents of which she is not obliged to give a running commentary on!

Now the dds have voted with their feet, what incentive does she have to include them?

Now to practicalities. When her DH died, 50% of his personal pension (if any) died with him. If he was in receipt of a state pension, and she is under pensionable age - that will vanish, too. She has the same house to run, and possibly an underage son to look after, on considerably less money. With these kind of worries, I cannot see her handing over chunks of money to wealthy step daughters any time soon, whatever the rights or wrongs of it. There may be a watch, or a signet ring or something sentimental like that, but his daughters are not living in the real world if they expect more at this juncture.

The stepmother should change her will accordingly, leaving the property split 3 ways. Do the right thing.

Perhaps it's more of a framing issue. He has left his estate to his financially dependent current wife which is arguably appropriate. The alternative would involve impoverishing someone dependent on him and who would probably have legal rights if excluded to some extent. PP's assuming there is an objective 'fair' is puzzling.

I don’t agree with it but at least he left a clear rationale for his wishes.

Let's hope that once your children are adults, then, that they do the right thing by you, if you have arranged it so that they are entitlted to half your jointly owned house while you are still living in it, and have access to all his money at the point of his death, even though you at that stage may be needing it yourself for your own care. What if your adult children end up wealthier than you are at the point your husband dies, and still want to take the money at that time?

I really hope you have provided for yourself, and are not naiive enough to assume that your children would do the right thing by you.

I think perhaps you’re looking at it from a different perspective, he re married and had another child upon his death would he want his wife to have nowhere to live? I would be leaving to new wife …she can do a will you leave to all 3 ?

I'm leaving all the money I have saved and my half of our home to our children. It is mabye important to say I have earned that money before I met my husband.
As I said, I also expect my husband in his will to protect my children, not me. We talked about that and we're on the same page. For both of us, our children come first, everything else is second.

Good luck to you, @kavalkada.

You will need it as you could find yourself in a precarious position if your husband dies before you.

MN really need to do a web chat with a qualified IHT/estate planner/will writing expert.

He has left his estate to his financially dependent current wife which is arguably appropriate.

Except that he also left part of his estate to his son. But not his daughters.

And the OP has confirmed that the 2nd wife is planning to leave everything to her son. So the daughters of the first family are totally disinherited.

Both the father and @Pupdate292 ‘s aunt (the stepmother) have/are behaving VERY badly.

This.
if your own spouse or partner died, you wouldn’t expect to have to sell up to give money to any family children, be they adults or children.
I think you are being ridiculous.

what is required is the understanding that no-one is entitled to anything from anyone, and that the person who has written a will can leave their money/estate/ budgie collar collection to whomsoever they please
Why people expect an inheritance and why they are so quick to judge how complete strangers have chosen to deal with their estate is beyond me.

@EmilyBolton such strong words there, take it easy.

I see nothing wrong if the father writes a letter explaining his reasoning, it makes sense. I would feel hurt if he didn’t explain which may make me feel like he values them more than me but if he explains thag I love you all but I think they need the financial help more, j would be fine with it if I am wealthy and don’t need the money.

in this case if the father has explained his reasoning, if the daughters are still upset then that’s petty and on them.

Maybe the father could have given them something memorable to show he loved them, it doesn’t have to me money.

Their daughters not having jobs is not his problem, if they are married to rich husbands then they have chosen not to have jobs and that decision should not have been made based on an inheritance.

If they travel on vacation multiple times a year, live expensive lives and have no backup then that’s on them. Are you really serious? What if the father didn’t have any money to leave behind?

your sense of entitlement is ridiculous.
, NO parents do not have to leave you an inheritance.

Might all end up being used for care home fees.