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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

It's an inheritance one

226 replies

Pupdate292 · 13/06/2022 16:25

I'll just type out the scenario and leave it to the vote, I'm a relative to someone in the family and I'm kind of stuck in the middle of it all. Just looking for an outsiders perspective.

So the man has 2 daughters from his first marriage. He re marries a divorcee who has a 2 year old son. His girls are around 8 years old at this point. They all have a happy upbringing, the man is close to his girls and also treats his step son as his own. His 2nd wife does the same with her step daughters.

Fast forward to today. The daughters are both happily married to very wealthy men, want for nothing. The son is also happily married, not as wealthy but has a mortgage on his own home, is in a good job, enjoys holidays abroad etc.

The man has sadly died and left nothing in his will to his daughters. It's all been left to his 2nd wife and son.

Yanbu- that's wrong, he should have left something to the daughters even though they are now very wealthy

Yabu-the daughters don't need the money, he was right to leave everything to his 2nd wife and her son as their need is greater.

OP posts:
ancientgran · 15/06/2022 09:39

HesDeadBenYouCanStopNow · 15/06/2022 09:24

Whilst I can understand why you would feel that way, I think it would hurt any siblings very much. The division of inheritance is the final act in someone's life, to leave different amounts to your children without explanation and conversations with all kids prior to death is a bad idea.

People often feel that it is an indication that the parent loved them less.

It causes conflict between the siblings as those receiving less feel it is unfair and those receiving more feel it is fair and righteous. Often those relationships never recover.

Yes people can choose to leave what they want to to who they want to. But if you love your kids then you need to think about the impact on them in doing it in an unfair way.

But it's fair for some to clear off and do none of the caring, make the most of their freedom to make lots of money and live a comfortable life and then swan back in a claim their share? As I said in my case it wasn't an issue as no money to leave anyway but if she'd had money and left me more I wouldn't have felt guilty and I don't think my siblings would have thought it unfair.

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