It's an inheritance one

[Pupdate292]

I'll just type out the scenario and leave it to the vote, I'm a relative to someone in the family and I'm kind of stuck in the middle of it all. Just looking for an outsiders perspective.

So the man has 2 daughters from his first marriage. He re marries a divorcee who has a 2 year old son. His girls are around 8 years old at this point. They all have a happy upbringing, the man is close to his girls and also treats his step son as his own. His 2nd wife does the same with her step daughters.

Fast forward to today. The daughters are both happily married to very wealthy men, want for nothing. The son is also happily married, not as wealthy but has a mortgage on his own home, is in a good job, enjoys holidays abroad etc.

The man has sadly died and left nothing in his will to his daughters. It's all been left to his 2nd wife and son.

Yanbu- that's wrong, he should have left something to the daughters even though they are now very wealthy

Yabu-the daughters don't need the money, he was right to leave everything to his 2nd wife and her son as their need is greater.

This could have been my friend. She and her sibling were children of the first marriage, her DF had another child from his 2nd marriage.

She and her sibling aren't rich, but they both own houses with very small or no mortgage, and have reasonable pensions. Their DF was very wealthy (quite literally, several millions). Their relationship with their DF had been difficult in the early years after he left, they had to move to a different area, change schools, and had a much reduced lifestyle. Friend had made a great effort and believed they were reconciled, and was in regular contact with her DF.

He left them nothing, not even the astronomical telescope he'd always told her would be hers one day, his love or a mention. Everything went to 2nd wife and the daughter they'd had. Friend was devastated, she felt that she and her sibling had been totally ignored. She was beyond hurt.

It's a horrible thing to do to your children.

Assuming there was no family conflict before all this, it seems obvious that he's done it because the son has less money than the daughters.

I'm surprised he didn't have the conversation with his family first, though.

But assuming the son wasn't responsible for the conditions of the will, I don't see why his half sisters should fall out with him over it, if their relationship was so good before. There's nothing he can do to change their father's wishes, even if he did share the money with them...and if they're so wealthy, I'd think it behoves them to let him keep it.

He had 3 children. So what if 2 of them married wealthy people. They were all 3 his children.

if his 2nd wife and son had ANY personal ethics, they’d re-split the estate. But I doubt they will. Second families always seem very entitled and selfish in this situation.

Normal for wife to be left everything. I doubt step son was directly given anything. Perhaps his mother helped him with something.

If all amicable then would be natural for wife to split 3 ways when she dies.

I would not expect her to find any inheritance for any of the children now unless they were extremely well off. Daughters are being very unreasonable

Should’ve been split equally. What a horrible father. The financial position of the children is irrelevant and it can change at any point. Plus it’s not about the money, it’s about the love.

Terrible thing but complicated by the wealth of the daughters, although they are wealthy now but... I guess he should have had a conversation with them? It does happen tho. I know someone who inherited a huge amount from his mum who inherited it from her dh when he died - first family children got nothing :0

auntie is devastated

but not enough to decide that, actually she’d rather have them in her life, and split the cash with his biological daughters.

OP haven't read the whole thread does the son see his biological dad ?? Because if he does then he stands to inherit possibly twice in his life however, if the dad has bought him up from a toddler the fairest way is it's divided equally between all three children,the fact the girls have at the moment comfy lifestyles is irrelevant.

Sally872 my auntie is not splitting it 3 ways when she's dies. It will all go to her son.

Sorry I don't know specifics but that's the g

This

....that's the gist of it.

It sounds like his wife is alive, so it is NBU to leave it to his living partner, but if he split it equally between DW and DSS while cutting out DDs, that is so so unreasonable. What percentage did DSS get?

It doesn’t sound like there’s much cash involved, though - there’s the marital home which she presumably lives in and it’s normal for the marital home to either go to the surviving spouse in full or be left in life trust.

My only sibling is much better off than me (fuck you environment new build house for sibling, partner and one child, two cars, multiple expensive holidays overseas, you name it) but my parents left everything divided equally between us. I think that's fair enough. To leave two of his kids nothing - not even a couple of grand for a nice holiday - is hurtful.

Was the house in joint names, held as joint tenants? In that case, it would automatically pass to the surviving spouse, and most people would say quite right too, given that this is after decades of marriage. It's then up to the surviving spouse to decide how to leave the property. In this case, from your description, OP, it doesn't sound as if there was much for your uncle to leave except the house.

If on the other hand, it was in your uncle's sole name, or they owned it jointly but as tenants in common, he could will the house/his share of the house to anyone he chose and again surely his wife would have first call. He could have made it a life interest, I suppose, and specified what should happen after she died.

I can see why your cousins are upset, though, if he has specifically excluded them from the will. Not a kind thing to do.

It's so interesting how often this happens with step families who treated/loved/saw the stepkids as their own.

I think if he had just sat his girls down and talked it through with them first, listened to how they felt about it, it would have made a world of difference. I dont think he understood how hurt they'd be by it, and if he did then he probably wouldn't have done it.

Maybe not split equally if they are very wealthy and want for nothing but it would have been good to leave a modest amount or sentimental gifts as recognition. The worst thing would be if he left it as a surprise. If I were in that position, I would have conversations with the beneficiaries once I had written my will and explained the reasoning behind my decision. I do know that if my children had vastly different outcomes in life I would want to ensure the one who needed it had more.

I’m sorry for you that you have such an immoral aunt. Selfish and thoughtless. I don’t blame your cousins for cutting contact with her.

Of course, it’s their father who has behaved most badly. I notice that it’s often men who’ve gone through several marriages but who won’t take responsibility for the mess they make by making a decent will.

Being kind to the aunt, is it possible that the assets the father had were built up during their marriage and are therefore jointly hers? If he were fabulously wealthy that would be one thing but it sounds as though he had a relatively modest lifestyle - to the point that trying to unpick what was his and what was hers would be more expensive than the money in question.

It would have been kind to have them split the eventual (when both spouses die) three ways.

As others have said, wills are often not about money but about a lasting message of your place and importance to someone. I feel very sorry for the girls. If there is strong financial reasons to have done this both parents should have discussed it with all children in advance. I hope the money is worth the damage to relationships to your auntie and her son.

Isn’t it up to individuals to make provision for themselves though-if they want to leave then why should this be dependent on their parent dying? They could get jobs and have their own money instead of relying on their father or husband. This is not the 19th century.

It sounds as if it had been split that the wealthy daughters with own homes who have chosen a lifestyle that doesn’t include them working and protecting their own interests that way would have required their pensioner stepmother to sell her home. From what you say there are insufficient assets to protect and house her thereafter.
mots probably therefore fair but hurtful and the daughters should have been told in advance and left belongings / items of sentimental value. Fairness isn’t necessarily equal.

I can understand him leaving the financial legacy to the second wife and son, if the two daughters are financially secure. However, it would have been decent of him to stipulate in the will that after the death of the second wife, the entire asset should go from her to all three children, not solely to the son - that's what I would have done.
However, pointless voting here as always with inheritance thread, it's his money and entirely his choice to do whatever he wanted with it. There may well be complicating factors in this situation that either you don't know about or that you haven't explained here. I'm guessing you might be the mother of the daughters and not very impartial in the situation.

I do know that if my children had vastly different outcomes in life I would want to ensure the one who needed it had more

Problem is, define ‘need’. Massive grey area especially when you add in the life decisions each child has made.