To not take the job?

[xmasaries]

First thread!

I'm young (under 25) and have 2DC, one in school and one aged 2.

I've been offered a job with a surprisingly high salary for a starter and the company will support me to do a degree.

We've always struggled financially and this would put us in a much more comfortable position.

However, I am just feeling down that I'll be sacrificing so much time with the kids.
The hours will mean I'm out the house from 8am-6pm all week, will never do school drop-off or pick-up and my youngest will be in childcare 50hrs a week. The idea that I'll only have the rushed bit of time to get out the house and do bedtime with them is just getting me down.

In contrast, I have a job offer that is a lower salary but they're willing to accommodate whichever hours would suit me.

I just feel like I'd be in the wrong by turning down an offer that would financially benefit us but also feel like I'd be in the wrong by sacrificing so much time with my DC when they're still so young.

Yanbu - take the lower paid job.

Think of the long term and take the higher paid job. Think of all the benefits this will offer your children as they get older.
Your situation re childcare will be no different to that of millions of other parents and children and you will probably find that it will change over the years.

I could never do school pick ups etc, but I made up for it by volunteering with Brownies and other things the kids were involved with.

YANBU - in a similar position 2 years ago I took the lower paid job. I have since kept the 3 days a week hours but had payrises.

I will go back full time next year when DS is in school.

It's always a worry when you start a new job, but the new role sounds like a fantastic opportunity. What are your current working hours, and how much of a difference will there be financially, when taking into account the extra childcare costs?

I was recently in a similiar position. I took the lower paid job.

Lower paid job all the way. Time with your kids is so important (well it was for me) and there will always be opportunities in the future. This isn't your one and only chance at a higher paying job.

Don’t sacrifice this time with your children.

I have an 8 year old and an almost 5 year old and over the last 6 years in particular I have stepped back from work and declined opportunities to progress because I wanted to be with my children.

Now my youngest is about to start school I have started to focus on my career again and I have just taken on another role with far better prospects going forwards. I will be doing slightly more hours than I was previously and it does mean a few nights a week I will only see my children for an hour before bed but I feel like it’s time to start getting my life (career wise) back on track.

You are young so it’s very unlikely that this will be the one and only opportunity you are ever going to get in life to advance your career.

Based on what you have written, I wouldn’t prioritise the job at the expense of time with your children.

If you’re struggling financially now, you would not be wise to take a low paying job with no degree prospects. Your children will become more and more expensive and the cost of living will keep increasing, and when you’ve got through those years where your children are still very young you may struggle to find an employer who wants a 30 year old with no degree who has only worked in low paying jobs. The chance of a funded degree is huge for your future prospects and financial stability.

Would the higher paid job have opportunities to go part time? You might have to suck up the full time hours for a year or two then ask for part-time work. Shorter hours, higher pay, still on the career track. The problem with many part-time jobs for women is that they utterly cut you off from progression. This matters - if only because of the number of MN threads where husbands leave and the ex-wives and DC are trapped in poverty.

I would at least try and negotiate the higher salary job hours.. you have nothing to loose that way.. could you negotiate late start one day a week and 4 days ?
Does lower paid job increase current pay ,have opportunities to progress i the future.

Ultimately it is a balance of life and finance

I had my children in my early twenties. I sacrifices my career for a bit. I felt we d get money anytime but never the time back. It made money very tight at points. I was easily able to pick things back up once they were getting to second stage of primary and have had a really successful career - 40 now.

I loved doing school pick ups etc. I was the child in 50 hours child myself and hated it.

So no regrets and it worked out for us.

I'd take the higher paid job.

Does your partner earn a decent and stable wage? Is your relationship stable? What’s your living situation like, as in is your housing secure?

If you feel comfortable in those areas, take the lower paid job. If not, you need the higher paid job.

I worked those hours when my kids were small. It was fine, the kids enjoyed the after school club / nursery. I did go part time when the kids were 5 and 3 for health reasons but I’m back full time now and they’ve not suffered. It’s meant they’ve never had to suffer financially

Would you be able to live comfortably off the lower paid "do as many hours as you like job"?

I'd take the higher paid job. In a year or so you can reassess, see how it's going, maybe try to renegotiate your hours or take a step back if it's not working. But if you turn this down now you may not get the opportunity again.

How rare is the opportunity for the higher paid job with support to get a degree? If you can pick that option in a few years then taking to lower paid job might be better, but if it's a rare opportunity then you'll be wise to consider your family's financial health further down the line.

More money and degree support? While you are struggling financially? I’d take that without question.

This

You haven't given enough info about your circumstances for us to give you practical advice. Without it there are compelling arguments for either, as you can see by relatively similar numbers advocating for both options.

I'd usually say take the higher paid job but that is a LOT of hours, and if you do a degree you will need to study too. That is so much pressure. And you still have to factor in kids being sick and off school/nursery; holiday clubs (you won't have enough own-holiday and unlikely you'll get exactly the dates you want).

I am a FT working mum with flexibility in my job - I love being able to pop into school for assembly, turning up to the bake sales etc

For now I'd take the lower paid job. You can't do/have everything - maybe you can circle back and get a degree later on in your career.

Take the higher paid job for a year or two and the reasses

You will never get the years with your kids back again. You can pick up your career any time.

Time goes by so quickly when the kids are young. I went part time when my first was 1 and I don't regret it one bit. You can pick up your career in a few years.

Follow your gut instinct.

I did similar hours albeit part time with my eldest was a baby, don't underestimate how difficult it will be leaving as they wake and coming home as they go to bed. Add studying on top of this will be tough, if your degree is 3 - 4 yrs to complete.

Ultimately I took a back step in my career but this is a luxury not afforded to all.

I'd suggest this, ask for what you think you'll need. Also working FT a d doing a degree alongside will be hard do you get to study on the job? Or is that all in your own time too? Obviously people do this but with 2 very young DC this sounds a lot to fit in.