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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder what's going wrong with our finances!?

482 replies

pondering12345 · 10/06/2022 22:18

In the process of moving to a joint account with DH, so using this opportunity to review our monthly finances:

Income
DH take home pay £2600
My take home pay (part time) £1075
Child benefit £145
Total income £3820

Expenses
DH car loan £270
My car loan £160
Mortgage £645
Water £60
Gas and electric £250
Home insurance £15
Broadband £25
Council tax £190
DH credit card £110 (we each use our own credit card for any purchases for ourselves and pay off the following month)
My credit card £100
My phone £35
DH phone £35
DH car tax £20
TV license £15
Zoo membership £20
Apple Music subscription £15
DH contact lenses £40
DH haircut £15
My haircut £20 (£60 every 3 months)
My nails £30
Window cleaner £15
DH petrol £100
My petrol £100
Food £450
Takeaways (one per week) £150
Kids hobbies & swimming £100
Date night £50
Disposable income £500
Total expenses £3535

This leaves less than £300 per month to put towards tonnes of other expenses - annual car insurance, gifts, Christmas, holidays, kids clothes, home and car maintenance etc.

Where are we going wrong here!? I don't feel like we live a particularly lavish lifestyle.

OP posts:
C8H10N4O2 · 13/06/2022 11:25

OBface · 13/06/2022 11:09

@Liebig How do you know that OP has a new car? You can get hire purchase loans on second hand cars.

£160 and £270 really isn't luxury car territory (I have recently looked at new cars for both my husband) and maybe OP didn't have the cash available to buy a car outright.

If two people use cars for work and childcare runs its hard to manage on one car even in city suburbs.

We have always bought cars a couple of years old and run them for at least a decade but we had the money up front to do that. Its a bit like Vime's boots.

Buying is also not automatically cheaper overall than leasehire/HP. I'm looking at replacing a 16 year old car you need to look quite carefully to work out the total cost of ownership of buying v renting.

Spending £400 a month on cars (plus tax and insurance) which do only £200 per month on mileage at current fuel rates is worth looking at. It may be possible to drop to one car and top up with taxis/ the odd day's car hire for lower cost.

I would start is working out targets. Cheaper contracts are always worth looking at but otherwise its a case of how much does the OP want to put into savings, pensions, holidays and household maintenance. Once you have those numbers you can work through the optional spending and remove or reduce to achieve that target.

Also track spending properly. Like others on this thread, I grew up in a house where every penny counted and I do this instinctively even though its decades since I really needed to be careful. Its a useful habit to cultivate, especially when families are young and money is at its most squeezed.

jjx111 · 13/06/2022 11:26

Your expenses all sound reasonable to me. Possibly you could cut down on disposable income - all those costa coffees etc add up. I usually take a thermos flask, and snacks when I'm going out anywhere.

Liebig · 13/06/2022 11:29

Astralitzia · 13/06/2022 11:19

My 6-year old Ford Fiesta costs me £290 / month.

I bought it on finance at the start of this year because I didn't want to draw down on the capital I've saved to buy a house. It was not "purely for the prestige of having a new car" (which I don't even have).

A six-year-old car on finance is not the same ballpark as a new PCP contract which is what most people have gone for these days. For one thing, you’ll be paying considerably less for the term of the financing arrangement.

SinnermanGirl · 13/06/2022 11:32

CountTheStars · 13/06/2022 11:24

Nails, haircuts, takeaways, date night, window cleaner, credit cards. Followed by running two cars.

Cut those things and you'll see a major jump in your finances. WHy so much spending on takeaways? That's excessive! And nails, and window cleaning. Can you now clean the windows yourself? Genuine question. You are spending a lot of your hard-earned money on unnecessary things TBH

It is hardly an extravagance to get a haircut or have the windows cleaned once a month. And for a working couple to have a weekly takeaway seems normal, not excessive at all.

There are ways the OP could reduce her spending but eliminating all the fun stuff isn’t necessary. I think that buying cars and phones with cash will save them interest on payment plans.

ApplesandBunions · 13/06/2022 11:34

Mmm I really don't think a monthly window cleaner is a vast extravagance. It's also likely a local small business, the sort of thing I'd want to keep supporting if possible.

riesenrad · 13/06/2022 11:34

I buy cars out of savings and then save up again.

We don't have takeaways although occasionally have fish and chips - that's £15 for two of us. You can get quite decent ready meals from M&S for 3 for £7 if you feel too lazy to cook - much cheaper than a takeaway.

We don't have "date nights" - sometimes we wander to our local pub for lunch which is about £30.

Our mobile phone contracts are £11 a month with 02; ds has one with Giffgaff for £10.

As for nails, I use nail varnish from Rimmel which cost £2.99!

Maybe buy a couple of heated blankets and a towel rail before the winter and it might help reduce the energy bills a bit.

Not RTFT but your water seems really high - are you in the south-west?

riesenrad · 13/06/2022 11:35

ApplesandBunions · 13/06/2022 11:34

Mmm I really don't think a monthly window cleaner is a vast extravagance. It's also likely a local small business, the sort of thing I'd want to keep supporting if possible.

Me neither - ours comes every 8 weeks or so and it would be a massive faff to do them ourselves. It's worth paying for people with the right equipment and skillset.

riesenrad · 13/06/2022 11:36

I also buy a lot of my clothes from ebay - "new with (or without) tags" clothes are often less than half the price from the shops, and keep returns and clothes generally out of landfill.

Hereforthenthtime · 13/06/2022 11:43

Window cleaning is a faff, DH does ours because we are retired so have more time, also it it difficult to get round the back if we are not in and I think DH quite enjoys it, he bought those long poles and stuff to do it but if you are busy and at work then a window cleaner is money well spent. I certainly wouldn't be doing it if DH didn't.

Catspyjamas01 · 13/06/2022 12:02

The monthly cost of the OPs cars is nowhere near the cost of a 21 plate Audi. I don’t understand why she’s getting such a hard time over the cars. Not everyone wants to drive an old banger. Newer cars are sometimes more economical and less expensive to insure which is sensible IMO, not to mention much safer. I drive an 8 year old Mini and still have a loan costing £120 per month to pay for it as I don’t have £7k saved up due to putting this into a house deposit. The interest rate on loans is very low so it was more financially beneficial to put the capital into the house deposit to bring down the LTV to 50% to access the best interest rate on the mortgage. How do posters think most people afford cars?! Not all financial decisions are black and white.

Liebig · 13/06/2022 12:06

Catspyjamas01 · 13/06/2022 12:02

The monthly cost of the OPs cars is nowhere near the cost of a 21 plate Audi. I don’t understand why she’s getting such a hard time over the cars. Not everyone wants to drive an old banger. Newer cars are sometimes more economical and less expensive to insure which is sensible IMO, not to mention much safer. I drive an 8 year old Mini and still have a loan costing £120 per month to pay for it as I don’t have £7k saved up due to putting this into a house deposit. The interest rate on loans is very low so it was more financially beneficial to put the capital into the house deposit to bring down the LTV to 50% to access the best interest rate on the mortgage. How do posters think most people afford cars?! Not all financial decisions are black and white.

I saved money and bought a car I could afford. Crazy idea, I know.

DadBodAlready · 13/06/2022 12:23

You say Disposable income'500, but then you have 210 on credit cards, haircut/ nails 65, Zoo membership 15, takeaways 150, Date night 50. - More like your disposable is 990 or 25%+ of your take home. You just need to re-prioritise

WombatChocolate · 13/06/2022 12:25

The thing about car purchasing is a mindset.

Car manufacturers have launched the various lease and finance plans because they can ensure a steady market for brand new cars with people who can’t actually afford new cars buying a new one every 3 years.

Its a successful marketing ploy that has told a generation that a) they deserve and need a new car b) that buying a car which isn’t new is more expensive in the long term and c) has built fear and worry about facing any kind of maintenance or on-going car costs.

Yes, most new cars are now bought via finance plans. People generally cannot afford the price upfront of a brand new car. However, whereas in the past, people had what they can afford, today a generation feel a new car is what they are entitled to and because finance is available, think about the short term and take it, even though over the long term they pay vastly increased prices compared to what they could have reliable motoring for. If people make these choices, they need to see the bigger picture - that is onto other areas of their finances. Paying £400 a month for cars means £400 a month not available for other things. That’s not so bad when it’s a holiday ri other luxury which takes the hit, but actually for lots of people now, it’s money they need for fuel bills or their weekly food shop. Yet still people take out expensive car finance and go for new cars through both a sense of entitlement and fear of facing ongoing costs. Who wins…the car manufacturers.

People need to take a longer term look at their finances. It’s not just about monthly affordability but long term spends.

Why is it people believe that buying a 4 or 5 year old car is a dangerous thing to do rather than a financially savvy one? A 4 or 5 year car that’s been well kept can be as good to drive as a new car. We aren’t talking about new vs a banger. A car bought at 4 years old and kept for perhaps 4 or 5 years will be cheaper motoring compared to paying for new cars across the period.

The trouble is that people live hand to mouth. They spend all their monthly money and never accumulate a chunk of savings. In itself this is partly due to monthly payments on cars and sofas and paying for maintenance plans up front monthly. What they need is a couple of £k set aside, so when the car needs an item replaced for £300 they can pay it. The thought of that needs to not strike fear into them, but instead they need to realise that occasional payouts of £300 for things that need replacing is CHEAPER OVER TIME than paying high monthky payments indefinitely.

People get trapped into monthly payments. It’s what the car manufacturers want. The monthly payments prevent them saving, so when the scheme comes to an end, they can’t afford to buy out the remainder of the deal or to buy a car outright, but instead have to start another plan. Yes, they get a new car which they like and are told they deserve and is needed for any self respecting person these days and will avoid maintenance costs which will cripple them, but essentially they can’t actually afford it. That’s why they feel poor in other areas and is a key factor that makes it hard for many people to get on the property ladder.

Escapimg the car finance trap isn’t easy once you’re in it. Accepting it is fine to drive a car for more years and not starting another plan when one is ending is the key. It’s the same with mobile phones. People start a new contract for an upgrade when they could stick with the phone they now own on a sim only deal for another 2 or 3 years without any problem. It’s a mindset and one where people live tied to finance and monthly payments for loads if stuff and find over time the impact is things like retiring 4 or 5 years later, renting for longer, not being able to upgrade to a bigger more suitable house….but they can’t see the connection between their wider finances and affordability and their choices to take finance plans.

Liebig · 13/06/2022 12:30

WombatChocolate · 13/06/2022 12:25

The thing about car purchasing is a mindset.

Car manufacturers have launched the various lease and finance plans because they can ensure a steady market for brand new cars with people who can’t actually afford new cars buying a new one every 3 years.

Its a successful marketing ploy that has told a generation that a) they deserve and need a new car b) that buying a car which isn’t new is more expensive in the long term and c) has built fear and worry about facing any kind of maintenance or on-going car costs.

Yes, most new cars are now bought via finance plans. People generally cannot afford the price upfront of a brand new car. However, whereas in the past, people had what they can afford, today a generation feel a new car is what they are entitled to and because finance is available, think about the short term and take it, even though over the long term they pay vastly increased prices compared to what they could have reliable motoring for. If people make these choices, they need to see the bigger picture - that is onto other areas of their finances. Paying £400 a month for cars means £400 a month not available for other things. That’s not so bad when it’s a holiday ri other luxury which takes the hit, but actually for lots of people now, it’s money they need for fuel bills or their weekly food shop. Yet still people take out expensive car finance and go for new cars through both a sense of entitlement and fear of facing ongoing costs. Who wins…the car manufacturers.

People need to take a longer term look at their finances. It’s not just about monthly affordability but long term spends.

Why is it people believe that buying a 4 or 5 year old car is a dangerous thing to do rather than a financially savvy one? A 4 or 5 year car that’s been well kept can be as good to drive as a new car. We aren’t talking about new vs a banger. A car bought at 4 years old and kept for perhaps 4 or 5 years will be cheaper motoring compared to paying for new cars across the period.

The trouble is that people live hand to mouth. They spend all their monthly money and never accumulate a chunk of savings. In itself this is partly due to monthly payments on cars and sofas and paying for maintenance plans up front monthly. What they need is a couple of £k set aside, so when the car needs an item replaced for £300 they can pay it. The thought of that needs to not strike fear into them, but instead they need to realise that occasional payouts of £300 for things that need replacing is CHEAPER OVER TIME than paying high monthky payments indefinitely.

People get trapped into monthly payments. It’s what the car manufacturers want. The monthly payments prevent them saving, so when the scheme comes to an end, they can’t afford to buy out the remainder of the deal or to buy a car outright, but instead have to start another plan. Yes, they get a new car which they like and are told they deserve and is needed for any self respecting person these days and will avoid maintenance costs which will cripple them, but essentially they can’t actually afford it. That’s why they feel poor in other areas and is a key factor that makes it hard for many people to get on the property ladder.

Escapimg the car finance trap isn’t easy once you’re in it. Accepting it is fine to drive a car for more years and not starting another plan when one is ending is the key. It’s the same with mobile phones. People start a new contract for an upgrade when they could stick with the phone they now own on a sim only deal for another 2 or 3 years without any problem. It’s a mindset and one where people live tied to finance and monthly payments for loads if stuff and find over time the impact is things like retiring 4 or 5 years later, renting for longer, not being able to upgrade to a bigger more suitable house….but they can’t see the connection between their wider finances and affordability and their choices to take finance plans.

You’re doing the Lord’s work. That’s what I’d type out if I wasn’t on mobile. And lazy. But also, let’s bask in the glow of America really trying to keep the wheels on this carbrained culture.

To wonder what's going wrong with our finances!?
Littleorangeflowers · 13/06/2022 12:31

Takeaways a lot.
Gas and elec a lot.
£500 dispos income a lot

Ohthatsexciting · 13/06/2022 12:32

I have a feeling that the OP is in a substantially worse way position than she goes on to outline in this thread. The OP being correct but the savings etc being fiction

Leontine · 13/06/2022 12:49

ApplesandBunions · 13/06/2022 08:16

It isn't so much that it's lavish as it is expensive. And going to get more so. They're spending about a sixth of their income running two cars. So of course it's going to be one of the first questions asked.

Now sometimes this is a practical necessity of course. If they live rurally, work in opposite directions at business parks with no public transport, do weird shifts etc and can't or don't want to change this, the cost might just have to be sucked up. But the OP hasn't said anything to indicate that. They're also not using that much petrol, so I do wonder if they live somewhere more built up but have simply got used to a car lifestyle.

Either way, it would be worth them considering whether it might be possible to manage with one, and if so how that might look. And this is a discussion a lot of middle income type households who would previously have found it pretty standard to have a car each are going to be having in the near future. If they want or need to keep the two vehicles, or even if they don't but have no choice for the moment because of the finance arrangements, that's fine but it needs to be budgeted for as an ongoing and likely increasing expense. And probably cuts made elsewhere.

I do agree with you regarding the cars being on finance. It’s only in the past few years I’ve noticed lots of people doing that. Some of my close relatives do and they are nearly always living in their overdraft. I wonder what the point is?
My cars have always been used and bought outright. I’ve only had 2 in the past 14 years. They’re not attractive cars but have served me very well.

Unless you live in a major city it’s a pain not having your own car though. It’s not something I’d expect someone to give up, just again be more mindful, like shopping around for the best insurance price, and obviously not getting them on finance if at all possible.

Another point I’ve seen people raise is their phone contracts. £35 is not a lot in this day and age. Mine has just hit £50 this new financial year, which has always been the most I’ve said I’d be willing to pay, but even that I don’t consider especially expensive. My contract hasn’t been as low as £35 for years and years.

xogossipgirlxo · 13/06/2022 12:58

Takeaways and food bill is a lot. Also, do you need windows cleaning each month? I have mine every 12 weeks, but I guess everyone has different standards. Anyway, try working on your food spending and takeaways. It's £600 itself, which is loads of money.

Slv199 · 13/06/2022 14:19

£40 on contact lenses seems a lot, can he not shop around for cheaper. £60 on nails? Buy some nail varnish from Amazon and do it yourself. £60 on hair every 3 months? Mine is £15 once a year or so. Buy some clippers and do DH's for him. Cheaper phone contracts? My DH and I pay less combined (£16) than you do each.

Try cutting back to absolute essentials for a while, like food, petrol, gas/electric. Use the savings to pay off car loans. Perhaps allow a small amount a month say £100 each for you and DH to spend on non-essentials. Then gradually add back in anything you are really missing like maybe the zoo membership. Looks at what you are spending with that £500 and the credit card money. Are they essentials? If the £210 is on credit card debt get those credit cards paid off whilst only buying essentials.

Summerwhereareyou · 13/06/2022 14:42

@WombatChocolate

Great post.

Also c8 from just before.
To be honest op, perhaps you just need to do the old fashioned taking all the money you need for anything except bills out of the bank each month, divide up the cash, and use cash.
You have some flabby spending holes.

Slv199 · 13/06/2022 14:52

I love the idea of flabby spending holes.

NohoHank · 13/06/2022 14:58

All the posters saying to cut your own hair are hilarious!

Catspyjamas01 · 13/06/2022 15:06

Genuine question - unless you’re getting it cut by a friend/family member which isn’t possible for everyone - where are people getting their hair cut for £15?!

ReneBumsWombats · 13/06/2022 15:08

NohoHank · 13/06/2022 14:58

All the posters saying to cut your own hair are hilarious!

Why? Lots of people do that, especially since lockdown.

StrychnineInTheSandwiches · 13/06/2022 15:20

Curly haired people can often give themselves a decent trim but people like me with dead straight hair would look a fright if they decided to go DIY. The OP spending £60 every three months on a haircut doesn't seem excessively lavish to me.

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