To wonder what's going wrong with our finances!?

[pondering12345]

In the process of moving to a joint account with DH, so using this opportunity to review our monthly finances:

Income
DH take home pay £2600
My take home pay (part time) £1075
Child benefit £145
Total income £3820

Expenses
DH car loan £270
My car loan £160
Mortgage £645
Water £60
Gas and electric £250
Home insurance £15
Broadband £25
Council tax £190
DH credit card £110 (we each use our own credit card for any purchases for ourselves and pay off the following month)
My credit card £100
My phone £35
DH phone £35
DH car tax £20
TV license £15
Zoo membership £20
Apple Music subscription £15
DH contact lenses £40
DH haircut £15
My haircut £20 (£60 every 3 months)
My nails £30
Window cleaner £15
DH petrol £100
My petrol £100
Food £450
Takeaways (one per week) £150
Kids hobbies & swimming £100
Date night £50
Disposable income £500
Total expenses £3535

This leaves less than £300 per month to put towards tonnes of other expenses - annual car insurance, gifts, Christmas, holidays, kids clothes, home and car maintenance etc.

Where are we going wrong here!? I don't feel like we live a particularly lavish lifestyle.

Only on Mumsnet would a poster suggest OP start saving £800 per month.

And please… stop with the ‘well I earn your combined wage on my own’ as that doesn’t help anyone either. 🙄

That's such a good way to think about stopping habits

Oh what I'd give to have an income a little shy of £4k/month. People with this level of income who complain about it should try living on less than £1k/momth.
I'm not able to increase my income because I'm disabled and unable to work but that £1k also includes my £500/month mortgage, so I have less than £500 to pay for everything else.

I don’t get people saying that having 2 cars is lavish. It’s normal that each driver in the household has their own car. At least it is round here. I’ve only know one couple who shared a car and it was a massive pain in the arse.
Also I don’t think you necessarily have to give up takeaways, just be more mindful with them like keeping the more expensive ones for treats.

You could be saving £1000 a month. Most folks would love that! Even when I worked full time, I could only save £450 a month. You spend more on treating yourselves than some families have to live on after they pay their rent. Stop whingeing!!

Agree with Leontine.

Not everyone lives in a place with reliable and convenient public transport or shops, schools, and children's activities close by.

Forget the zoo membership and apple music subscription - use YouTube.

Have a take away every other week.

I don’t think many of the budget items that others gave pulled out as being extravagant are - haircuts and contact lenses. I do think that if you have some goals to work towards - building a 6 month emergency fund, overpaying your mortgage etc, that would give you focus. Without that it’s difficult to really change because why?

It’s mainly the car loans. Can you use savings to pay them off?

Wow. Stealth boast. Looks like you are doing alright to me. What exactly is the problem?!

Nails is huge habit, food can definitely be cut down, buy less ready made I am assuming only 4 or 5 of you. Phones can easily be halved I pay £10,50 a month, shop around.

More than 10% of your income on cars. Is it a genuine loan (so you’re paying off the purchase price) or some other finance deal?

It isn't so much that it's lavish as it is expensive. And going to get more so. They're spending about a sixth of their income running two cars. So of course it's going to be one of the first questions asked.

Now sometimes this is a practical necessity of course. If they live rurally, work in opposite directions at business parks with no public transport, do weird shifts etc and can't or don't want to change this, the cost might just have to be sucked up. But the OP hasn't said anything to indicate that. They're also not using that much petrol, so I do wonder if they live somewhere more built up but have simply got used to a car lifestyle.

Either way, it would be worth them considering whether it might be possible to manage with one, and if so how that might look. And this is a discussion a lot of middle income type households who would previously have found it pretty standard to have a car each are going to be having in the near future. If they want or need to keep the two vehicles, or even if they don't but have no choice for the moment because of the finance arrangements, that's fine but it needs to be budgeted for as an ongoing and likely increasing expense. And probably cuts made elsewhere.

If you have savings then use that to buy a car outright. Getting loans to pay for cars makes no sense.

How is £360 a year “a huge habit”? It’s about £7 a week, less than zillions spend on daily coffees.

Its a drop in the bucket. The cars are the money sucker.

Maybe I need to look at my own finances but I think what you spend would be very normal round here.

2 cars, kids activities, days/meals out etc. are all part of life (otherwise you are working to pay your bills)

Unless you are going into debt to afford these then I reckon you are just fine!

Maybe a lot of posters live in London or other major cities but I couldn't fathom not having my own means of transport.

OP I think you've been given a hard time because of the competitive one -upmanship where posters earn a 6 figure salary yet live on nothing each month.

As far as spending goes it is a case of each to their own and others have given their opinions on what they feel they would cut from the list. There is a lot of discretionary spending which you could drop if you were struggling for money/wanted to save for something specific but it is for you to place how valuable they are to you.

I personally see spending lots on take aways/eating out as a waste of my money and save it for when going out to socialise with others. DH and I don't do meals out for date nights and we don't do family take aways. That is us and doesn't have to be how everyone else lives though. We love our enjoy days out, we have a zoo subscription at similar cost and visit around once a month - a single visit for 4 of us is min £50, more like £80 in school holidays when no offers so it is brilliant value imo.

I think the PP who said people get cars on finance to have something new on their driveway is just rude and judgemental. Again, we all have our own opinions and some people prefer buying new or not having the maintenance associated with an older car. It is an area you could save if you wanted to but if that is where you choose to spend your money, you are earning enough.

I second others comments on making sure you have all the relevant insurances etc in case circumstances change. The other comments have given you a guide to where you can save if you choose to but it is your money to spend.

Check out your phone contracts. There are many out there much cheaper.
For instance I pay £10 a month on Giff Gaff. For that I get unlimited calls, texts, 15GB of internet, I can toggle off my phone internet & also all calls & texts from Giff Gaff to Giff Gaff customers are free. There is a £50, £600 a year, saving.
Unless you use the Zoo membership a lot I’d consider giving it up… another £20, £240 a year, saving.
You can also look for 0% balance transfer cards or one with less interest. I know you say you pay it off every month but if that is the case & it is only costing £200 a month I’d consider getting rid of one & sharing.
Look at the contact lenses contract, nails & hair cuts costs too. You can probably get them all cheaper elsewhere.

Consider refinancing the car loans for a lower interest or combining them for a better deal too.
Can you remortgage for a better deal? Maybe not now but in the next few years?
Can you swap branded purchases in your shopping for off brand? Simple switches make a big difference. I used to be a Heinz beans all the way fan & now we buy HP. This is for two reasons… price is cheaper & the beans are healthier due to contains less salt & sugar.
Lots you can do to save money even if it is just little tweaks.
Make sure you sign up for cash back sites, like Topcashback ( www.topcashback.co.uk/ref/Grrrr98 ) & Quidco ( app.quidco.com/raf/nBKV ) too. They are so worth while for purchases on insurance, phones, TV & BB packages, days out & many other online purchases.

OP I think you've been given a hard time because of the competitive one -upmanship where posters earn a 6 figure salary yet live on nothing each month.

That, plus a couple of other boxes ticked. OP has cheap housing, which typically invites at least some cats bum mouth comments when mentioned on MN. She's middle income but can afford a lot of treats, again because of said cheap housing. And probably some free family childcare, if I were a betting woman.

So she's getting it from people who lower income than her and think it's insensitive (and fwiw I'd have put a bit more info in the title so anyone who's going to be upset by a thread like this can at least choose not to read it) people who can afford more than her but think she's getting above herself and people who have a higher income but less disposable income because of housing and childcare.

Buying a two, three year old car is both cheaper and less hassle because you’ll also get warranty on most makes. And if you genuinely believe maintenance is the reason people go for PCP brand new cars each time, I have a bridge to sell you. It’s purely for the prestige of having a new car.

And hey, fine. I say go for it. But to then go online and complain about lack of money is something I will then laugh at. I hope having the newest car on the lot is worth cutting back on everything else for the bragging points.

My ten year old Fiesta costs me a tyre and brake discs every couple years, at worst a new water pump once. I own it, it has no costs outside of fuel and insurance/tax.

@Liebig How do you know that OP has a new car? You can get hire purchase loans on second hand cars.

£160 and £270 really isn't luxury car territory (I have recently looked at new cars for both my husband) and maybe OP didn't have the cash available to buy a car outright.

My 6-year old Ford Fiesta costs me £290 / month.

I bought it on finance at the start of this year because I didn't want to draw down on the capital I've saved to buy a house. It was not "purely for the prestige of having a new car" (which I don't even have).

Maybe not in this instance, no. But it is a common thing to see people get in debt by taking out financing on big nee cars where they need not. Keeping up with the Joneses is literally killing the savings people have, and it’s also what our idiotic economy is based on.

Nails, haircuts, takeaways, date night, window cleaner, credit cards. Followed by running two cars.

Cut those things and you'll see a major jump in your finances. WHy so much spending on takeaways? That's excessive! And nails, and window cleaning. Can you now clean the windows yourself? Genuine question. You are spending a lot of your hard-earned money on unnecessary things TBH