To wonder what's going wrong with our finances!?

[pondering12345]

In the process of moving to a joint account with DH, so using this opportunity to review our monthly finances:

Income
DH take home pay £2600
My take home pay (part time) £1075
Child benefit £145
Total income £3820

Expenses
DH car loan £270
My car loan £160
Mortgage £645
Water £60
Gas and electric £250
Home insurance £15
Broadband £25
Council tax £190
DH credit card £110 (we each use our own credit card for any purchases for ourselves and pay off the following month)
My credit card £100
My phone £35
DH phone £35
DH car tax £20
TV license £15
Zoo membership £20
Apple Music subscription £15
DH contact lenses £40
DH haircut £15
My haircut £20 (£60 every 3 months)
My nails £30
Window cleaner £15
DH petrol £100
My petrol £100
Food £450
Takeaways (one per week) £150
Kids hobbies & swimming £100
Date night £50
Disposable income £500
Total expenses £3535

This leaves less than £300 per month to put towards tonnes of other expenses - annual car insurance, gifts, Christmas, holidays, kids clothes, home and car maintenance etc.

Where are we going wrong here!? I don't feel like we live a particularly lavish lifestyle.

Income
DH take home pay £2600
My take home pay (part time) £1075 - Fundamentally your pay doesn't match his yet you are trying to spend equal amounts on cars, credit cards and phones etc. Start shrinking your budget or increase your earnings, you're living as if you both earn what he does and you don't.
Child benefit £145
Total income £3820
Expenses
DH car loan £270
My car loan £160
Mortgage £645
Water £60
Gas and electric £250
Home insurance £15
Broadband £25
Council tax £190
DH credit card £110 (we each use our own credit card for any purchases for ourselves and pay off the following month)
My credit card £100
My phone £35
DH phone £35
DH car tax £20
TV license £15
Zoo membership £20 - Again not really a priority
Apple Music subscription £15 - Don't really need this?
DH contact lenses £40
DH haircut £15
My haircut £20 (£60 every 3 months)
My nails £30
Window cleaner £15 - Don't need this either?
DH petrol £100
My petrol £100
Food £450 - excessive, start budgeting and switching to cheaper stores and food options, aim to get this to 400
Takeaways (one per week) £150 - switch from once a week to once a month it isn't necessary
Kids hobbies & swimming £100
Date night £50
Disposable income £500
Total expenses £3535

@marblemad It may be that OP and her DH can save some money on cars and phones etc, but why if she is working part time because of kids etc should they spend different amounts on something? If they're looking to share finances in a different way, it doesn't mean that part time working etc means that OP can only get a part time phone, and she might be using the car to take kids to activities and go to the supermarket/whatever on non work days or outside work hours.

To see if they can cover car/travel and phone costs in a better way, questions should be what's actually covered in that. Are there journeys that could be replaced by public transport, walking etc? Bearing in mind that some areas of spending here are likely to increase quite a lot in the next few months (petrol/utility bills).

We had a family zoo membership for a while and actually £20 a month isn't outrageous if you get to go regularly - ZSL (London & Whipsnade) costs about the same as all going at least 3 times in the year, and if they drive they save money on parking and it makes going for a relatively short time easier. I don't know which zoo this is. Originally I was given money to take the kids on nice days out by DP's aunt and that covered the first year or so. It is a lot to spend if you don't get round to using it often though We gave it up because we did have to economise and my kids were really growing out of the family days out at the weekends.

There's nothing wrong with your finances, OP. You're working part-time, living comfortably and you've still got some money left over each month for emergencies. Once the children are in school and you increase your hours you'll be laughing. I presume both of you are paying into your workplace pensions, so you're taking care of the future. You'll need to top your pension up at a later date because of working part time. Don't forget to do that.

You're at a pinch point at the moment because of having young children. When you're back full-time and you've both had a couple of promotions you'll be in a position to put away £1k+ per month in savings. That said, you do seem to be overspending on food (that takeaway bill is scary) and peripherals. Lots of good advice here. Get out of lease hire vehicles and buy a smart second hand car. It will save you money in the longer term and will be an asset you can sell if necessary. Ditto phones. Save up, buy the phone and have a £5pm sim-only deal. Credit in all its guises is costly.

If you're surrounded by people who judge you for the car you drive or your nails or hair, think about changing the people you're surrounded by.

Get out of lease hire vehicles and buy a smart second hand car. It will save you money in the longer term and will be an asset you can sell if necessary.

Hmm, I dunno about this one. The cost of second hand cars has basically doubled over the last couple of years so the sort of steady 5 years old bargain that might have rushed you three grand in perhaps 2017 is six or seven today for the equivalent. And it's still a second hand car, with all the risk that entails. It's more of a gamble now than in the past because the stakes are higher. You might end up doing better out of it, but it's not a given.

😂

You can not seriously be pleading poverty

Personally there's too much money being spent on stuff, apple nails money for bits and bobs (cc) for each of you through the month. Then takeaway, date night.. then spending what's left on lunch out with your friends etc.
List your essential, house cars petrol etc. Then decide how much you want savings..paying yourself first for emergencies..broken washer boiler etc.
Then you can decide on nails hair cuts etc.
You need a zero based budget and not putting £100 each on a cc then spending another £300+ on other things.
Look up dave Ramsey baby steps uk.

DH cuts his own hair (shaves). I have long hair so only cut every 6 months or so. Can dye it at home. Don't have my nails done. Window cleaner every other month.
We earn alot more and spend alot more on children's hobbies. We buy our cars out right.
I've always worked full time since the children were small.
It's easy to spend more but with the cost of living rise coming I'd really try to save as much as you can.

You could cut costs in some ways.

Two cars loans and possibly the credit card loan could be switched onto a Virgin interest free for 24 or 36 month card and pay them off as one lump sum a month minus the interest for a while which will help get it paid faster but also cost less each month

Shop around for cheaper home, car insurance and broadband etc

Sometimes mobile phones can be cheaper if put on one account we have three in family and save 10% on each extra line.

Change Takeaways to Fakeaways we saved nearly £200 a month that way

Things like apple subscription can also be included as smart benefits with some mobile phone contracts worth having a look and you can usually transfer number over.

Depends on your hubby's hairstyle but my husband saved a fortune with a home trimmer to do to himself.

Date night we just send the child elsewhere and have a movie night etc.

Window cleaning my hubby does and once every six month or so we catch a window cleaner and do a one off good clean.

Things like kids hobbies and zoo subscription you just need to way up which ones you really need and use.

Its not that you're not living within your means that stands out to me, its that you're not feeling the benefit of the 'treats'. Treats have maybe become habitual and mundane. You're no doubt working hard and aren't feeling you're reaping the benefits.

I wonder if you could do a sort of financial fast month. Cancel everything/ most things that are non essential spend and easy to restart so music subscription, date night spend, takeaways.

Then review at the end of the month, what do you miss. Even do something special with the fast month bounty - spa weekend, nice piece of jewellery, michelin star restaurant tasting menu

I've done living off a healthy wage and living near poverty and had happy times at both life stages. Money certainly buys you a lot of choices but I think it has pressures and creates expectations too.

A few thoughts, if you do a treat/ lazy/ preprepared meal once a week you can have lovely ingredients for under £30 think steak, wedges, chocolate torte and icecream. Very low prep/ cooking. I usually go for a takeaway when I'm busy/ shattered/ want something really easy - its not for high quality nutritious food.

Date nights if you take it in turns to organise and have say £20, it can mix things up a bit and by putting a budget on things make the date more creative. Or you could draw straws and put different amounts on each one - so you'd have some luxury and some budget trips out.

I got rid of Apple Music for Spotify (non-subscription) and stopped getting takeaways and pub meals and the money saved now goes towards the kids Christmas fund. I also stopped getting my nails done, only for occasions like weddings/parties rather than every month. Again, saved money going to kids Christmas savings.

Credit cards and takeaways.

How much do you owe on credit cards ??!!

You have a similar income to me. I don't get my nails done and days out revolve around taking the dog for a really long walk. Takeaways are non-existent and gas and electricity are half what you're paying. I can live on it reasonably comfortably and save enough for an annual holiday for me and my boys. As people have said, it's all about priorities.

Car loans are almost as much as your mortgage? Can’t really get my head around that! £600 on food a month is bonkers as well. Watch eat well for less for tips maybe?

OP said they pay off the credit cards each month.

Op you've had some good advice on where

you can make saving.

I would divide further where your money goes ...the 500 part is flabby.

As an example...we set aside X for weekends which would include a take away if we went one but...that's our whole fun weekend budget.
Luckily our Chinese is 20 ish pounds and our weekend Budget is around 60.

We directly save each month into a holiday fund and also Xmas fund, bday.
Usually it doesn't cover all the cost but it's hugely helpful and keeps the ship steady to be able to pull on several hundred pounds.

I don't use a hairdresser for hair cuts! With longer hair it doesn't need it.
My dh does it and I do the DC.
DH has a shaver for his and will occasionally use a professional.

No nails! I have waxes a few times a year and eyebrows.

DC clothes I buy on sale, Sainsbury's..mix in wiry some Zara or mango

Clarke's outlet for DC shoes.

My biggest issue is food.
It's our flabby expenditure.

But what I'm saying is.. you still have money that's floating in the wind
.assign it special for which leauire...pin every penny down.

Life doesn't have to be miserable!

Zeus she also said she does have saving

If I was you, I would still have my own separate bank account and have a joint bank account where I paid my share to pay the bills.

Could you cut takeaway?
Could you work more hours?
Dates - assuming for adults not paying for teen DC. Is this nights out? Cut this. Although not massive saving.

£30 for nails?!? What do they do to them? Cut this and paint your own nails.

Just reading your other messages and see you have young children, not teens.

Missing the point of the thread but I see you are planning to work more hours when children are older. I planned to do this but find now they are teens, I have even less time.😬

Feeling a bit sorry for the absolute pounding the OP is getting here. Her and DH both work: so a couple of luxuries here and there should be expected: it doesn’t sound like she is going completely mad with money here. More that she needs to make a few savings here and there seeing as the price of everything seems to have increased (the recent change in NI and council tax means we come out with over £100 a month less per month and with similar income, we are feeling it)

£150 on takeaways wow! In addition to £450 for food this does seem high.

One area I don't think the op is overspending is supermarket food. £450 is not remotely high, especially if it includes toiletries and cleaning stuff (and a few beers and wine). The takeaways yes - I think that's excessive. We don't have them but I easily spend £700/£800 pcm at the supermarket for three adults and a couple of suppers with friends. Nearly said chums but the pp would have jumped on me.

£70 a month on Phones? Wow!! Myself DH & DD all have sim only contracts which are £10 a month each, so £30 for all 3 of us, this would be an easy way to save money.

The nails & takeways & date nights are luxuries.

I'd sell the cars & get an older model without expensive finance if your looking to save money.

We have a 12yr old perfectly good car, which we paid £8k for about 8 years ago. Its still worth around £2500 now.

Your DH has spent £25k over that same time period and still doesn't own the car outright.