To expect people to be able to control their children on planes?

[Ace56]

I recently returned from a long haul trip with connecting flights, so was on 5 planes altogether.

On 4 of these flights I was around children who’s parents just seemed to pussyfoot around them and seemed unable to control them.

Flight 1 - mum and 2 kids in the row in front of me. Dad across the aisle, plonks himself down on his laptop for the entire flight. Little boy (around 2-3) EXTREMELY loud, continuous shrieking, disrupting his sister. They had brought nothing for him to do - no iPad/colouring/books, so no wonder he was bored. Just shrieked constantly to get mum’s attention. Dad did absolutely nothing to help, didn’t offer to take him. Neither took him for a walk down the aisle or anything - he literally was in his seat the entire flight, absolutely bored shitless and disturbing everyone around him.

Flight 2 - girl of about 3 sitting behind me, next to mum. Dad across the aisle. Was fine during the flight but kept switching between mum and dad, and taking it in turns to sit on their lap watching her iPad. When it came to landing, she still wanted to switch every few mins. Air hostess politely told them a few times that she needs to be seated now for landing. Parents meekly tried to make her sit still with one of them but eventually gave up, so for the actual landing she ended up in the aisle (very dangerous) with mum holding onto her T-shirt. Air hostesses were seated at this point so couldn’t do anything/didn’t notice.

Flight 3 - boy of about 5 in front of me, standing up in his seat, leaning back into the seat, generally jumping around. Mum apologised but made no real attempt to stop him.

Flight 4 - large extended family sitting in various places around the plane. Children allowed to shout at each other across rows and over people’s heads, not told to stop once.

AIBU to despair at parenting these days if this is the norm? Have other people come across situations like this or was I just very unlucky?!

I'm doing the same thing. 3 year old has never flown, 5 year old was 18 months old the last time we did.

I've told them what will happen. Made it exciting. Set the expectations.

What's wrong with that? Should we not prepare our children for new experiences?

My 3 year old has flown around 15 times and has been heavenly every single time. On the last flight she did not want to wear the seatbelt as we landed. I wouldn’t let her take it off and she screamed bloody murder. It was mortifying There was little I could as we were landing, other than keep her in the seat and try and get her to stop.

Woman behind me started shouting at my daughter and got in my face about my child’s behaviour, ‘my children never behaved like this, you should control your child, etc etc’ and swore at me.

people in front were mortified by her behaviour and it just goes to show that sometimes adults are far worse behaved than a child who can’t control their emotions. If you don’t like it charter a private jet, otherwise you need to put up and get on with it.

There's a big difference between a parent struggling and a parent who doesn't try

Oh no, poor chap - and poor you

On a tangent - where does he buy shirts and t-shirts from? It's SO EXPENSIVE getting stuff from Charles Tyrwhitt etc.

Hmm, tough question.

I flew longhaul when DS was 2.5 and it was HELL. He constantly fiddled with the window shutter and banged the tray table up, down, up, down. Yes, I told him to stop, but what can you actually do with a kid that age? They don't understand consequences.

he's 6'7. He get crippling stomach pain after flights when he doesn't have the extra legroom. His height is mostly in his torso. His legs aren't that long really.

Eh? Do the planes you fly on have extra low ceilings or something?

I generally think parenting standards are fucking poor these days, don’t know if it’s the pressure to do it all / conflicting bullshit on how to raise kids - but fuck me I have been around some children recently who have tested my patience to the max!!!!

i have an easy kid I admit it, he is 8 almost 9 now, but even he has now started to comment on other childrens behaviour, just rude entitled children dominating the class room.

Also fucking annoying one of these children got a behaviour award today, because for the shitty behaved kids stamps are given out like smarties to bribe them to be behaved, my poor DS has to watch them get award after award - despite his teacher telling us at parents evening he is the most well behave child in the class and has golden manors.

Is that a joke question? You physically stop him doing it. You are the adult and much stronger than he is. You get hold of his arms and you say very firmly "NO. That stays UP." Every time he reaches for it, you do that again. You don't use consequences in this scenario!

Jeez......

YANBU

Move him away from the window seat?
Put your hand over the tray so he cant open it?

Were you being sarcastic?

Yeo totally agree with you. People seem generally lazy and inconsiderate now days.

*yep

I agree OP.
Was on a short haul flight.
Toddler wouldn't sit in his seat. Parents kept saying that they'd strap him in.
Child refused loudly. Mum felt that by having him on her lap , quietly, would be ok.
Child was very vocal and physical. Neither parent could cope.

Crew kept approaching and demanding that child needs to be strapped in.

Parents kept trying to hush the child to avoid detention. Crew kept asking.
Crew threatened being asked to leave.
Parents said ' yeah ok ' but did nothing.

Wish crew were more adamant as the plane took off with the brat behaving appallingly, not strapped in, people around were appalled, child was throwing toys around as well as home brought snacks.

I've no idea why this flight went ahead.

YANBU.
We've been flying with our 5yr old since she was a baby and we've done everything we can to keep her occupied to make it easier for her and others on the plane, i take loads of colouring books, different pens, stamps, stickers, her kindle fire loaded with games, tv shows and movies, polly pockets, her favourite cuddly toys, tonnes of snacks, activity books and anything else i can think of.

Is that a You would subject the whole plane to gthe ensuing screaming just to prove what a wonderful parent you are?

And what do you think he'd do then? Oh yes- vigorously express his displeasure! Which would of course be wonderful for all around him. The smug parenting brigade are really out in force tonight aren't they?

cross posted with @fUNNYfACE36 !

YANBU. There are far too many weak parents who seem almost scared to admonish their DC. Can't stand feral kids.

Apart from the child in the aisle during landing (which is ridiculously unsafe and the parents should have bundled the child into a seat or lap), YABU.
If you don't want to be stuck in close proximity with strangers who literally owe you nothing, pay for a private jet. 🙄

Asked by a clearly averaged sized person.

No, the lumbar support of the chairs is not long enough to support his body. Combined with the short leg room he ends up being sat cramped up with no where to move. His head is often fully above the headrest, especially on low cost airlines.

Basically airline chairs aren't designed for him. Long haul tend to be better as they generally have more room anyway.

You sounds really angry and annoyed for no reason. Yes, even disruptive kids can get awards on the weeks when they made effort to be less disruptive and showed kindness and respect to others. All kids are capable of that. If you want your perfect well behaved child to live in a different world, put him in some elitist posh school. Otherwise you just have to deal with all kinds of children in class.

My 'top of the class' well behaved son came back home today and said "you would never believe mummy this boy finally got the award because he tried so very hard this week to be nice to me and others and not to push thing and be gentle and he did it. I am so proud of him!'

And I am proud of my son for being considerate and knowing that everyone deserves an award .

I'm continuously shocked by the lack of interaction between parents and children these days. The use of the electronic babysitter I blame - we had no choice but read to me hem or do puzzle books

@KvotheTheBloodless ugh ... next or M&S and just deals with the arms being too short.

He did find an online shirt maker that did some to his measurements. That was quite reasonable and he got his wedding shirt from there.

Since covid though he's been in the office so rarely he doesn't need them much.

He has got suits from Moss Bros and they were able to let down the trousers and sleeves for him.

I'm 6' and our kids are both tall for their ages .... clothes buying in our house is always a pain.

😁 Are you me?!

Law of averages unfortunately - judging by the vote split, you were lucky it was only one family per flight!