To hate the small talk at the school gates?

[Allyellow1]

I’m quite social really and have a good group of friends, however, I really hate the small talk at school and can’t wait to get away? Anybody else feel this way?

I think it’s reasonable to not enjoy it, you feel how you feel. I think it’s just part of living in a society, though.

When my son went to school, I hated it as well. I would just stand away from everyone to avoid it.

They all seem pretty close and are always planning things etc. We have WhatsApp group which I never put any input into 😩.

They probably have a separate one without the miserable bitch! 😂

You aren't being unreasonable - I hate it too.
I figure it's like school - there's a couple of people you get on with and then everyone else is trying to fit in with each other and there's always a couple of mean ones.

We are just all a bit taller than the kids we drop off.

Chat if you want to, don’t if you don’t. I don’t get the school gate angst. I made some great mum friends at various schools over the years, some schools I barely got to know anyone.

You can choose to talk or not, hate is a bit OTT.

I chat to my friends. Sometimes they’re not there, so I don’t always talk.

We plan stuff on on WhatsApp because we’re friends. I don’t see how that’s different from planning stuff with anyone else I’m friends with. It’s not a whole class group though, I guess that’s different.

I don’t understand this trend for WhatsApp groups. Every class has one, every group has one, WHY. It’s so weird.

@GreatCuppa were you friends before hand though? Obviously that’s different. I think I just hate small talk as generally I don’t think anybody gives a shit about it, seems pointless and I would feel so fake if I did it.

If you just find it a bit tiresome I think fair enough. But if it’s more than that I wonder if you felt unhappy/ left out when you were at school? It might be that you find the whole thing a bit triggering! It’s worth reminding yourself that those days are over and you’re an adult now and don’t have to impress everyone/ be friends with anyone you don’t want to etc!

Just don't join in if you don't want to. Why "hate" it? It's not compulsory.

@Leopardpj i wasn’t left out at school. I think it is worse than school! Haha, I just want to drop my child off and pick her up, if I make new friends great but I don’t feel the need to put the effort in like the others do?

It's a small window - after the first 4-5 years of primary at most you can drop them off before the gate or they go to the playground on their own

I mean it's fine, but don't hate on others. Depends what your personal situation is, if you've got family and friends close you probably don't need to make new friends. Other people don't and trying to make friends probably matters more to them, and school gates might be the only available opportunity to try.

I'm the same. Thank goodness my daughter is now old enough to be left at the gate (p7) to chat to her school friends before it opens and I feel comfortable leaving her.

I don’t hate the people…I just hate the small talk

Agreed. Fortunately my kids go to schools where they've never even been suggested. I wouldn't join one if there was one and I'd secretly judge the busybody who set it up.

I don't like it but I get there at the latest possible time so as to avoid.

I can't stand it! I stand far away from everyone now

But I am an introvert and I can't bear idle chit chat in general, esp with people I don't know well 😅

Maybe I am an introvert! It exhausts me!

It's quite easy to avoid, I drop off and pick up promptly rather than waiting around, even if I am waiting for a few minutes, I don't look approachable 😂 I stand in my own space, look at my phone.

Suppose you have moved to a new village and don't have friends there. You are working part time, or maybe not working at the moment, and your older child is starting in a new primary school.

Small talk is the human equivalent of dogs sniffing one another's arses- just seeing if another person seems like they might be friendly and open to hanging out with you every now and then.

I am terrible it too, but I have been a stranger with young children in a new place twice. Friendly people at the school gates can make a tremendous difference.

I do get what you mean, however I think sometimes you can tell the difference?

I smile and keep back. But luckily I can drop to a location (safely) far enough away from the crowd. I once collected my child an hour early when there was huge conflict on the yard to avoid the fallout from a parents commitee issue 🤐