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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Gardener moved in!

143 replies

Mom757855 · 10/06/2022 05:59

About a month ago our gardener turned up on our doorstep with all his stuff in bin bags. His partner had thrown him out. He had no where to go, so we let him stay with us. We are not friends and have a professional relationship but we have enough room for him and he would have slept in his car otherwise. He says he will start to look for a rental this week but he’s been understandably quite low and hasn’t started yet but I trust he will.
The problem is he likes to go to the gym at 5.15 am and it wakes us all up. Is it unreasonable to ask him to go at a later time? We have two small kids and my husband has a very demanding job.
thanks

OP posts:
Strawberriesaregreat · 10/06/2022 08:54

OP isn't doing any different to people having a refugee stay with them. He needed a home and wasn't a stranger. She'll have to kick him out though as she might the room for the window cleaner.

12FreeRangeEggs · 10/06/2022 08:55

Thread needs a new title - The Constant Gardener

SurfBox · 10/06/2022 08:55

Isn't it great to be a woman
People being hypocritical is never great.

Basilbrushgotfat · 10/06/2022 08:56

12FreeRangeEggs · 10/06/2022 08:55

Thread needs a new title - The Constant Gardener

Dying!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Neverendingmindfuck · 10/06/2022 09:06

Can you PM me your address please? I fancy a change of scenery......

WandaWomblesaurus · 10/06/2022 09:11

Is the gardener Mr Bloom and does he look good in a pair of wellies?

FlibbertyGibbitt · 10/06/2022 09:11

SurfBox · 10/06/2022 08:35

ps- sadly he’s not a muscly 21 year old love island style contestant or id mind being woken up by him less....Is he very handsome and offering additional benefits....Can we have a photo of his bod so we can advise you please

if comments like this were made about women by men mn would go into a frenzy. Umpteen threads bash men for these sort of comments and yet nobody said boo when gender is reversed.

I know, it’s bloody terrible !

anyway still need a pic please.

SqueakyShoe · 10/06/2022 09:14

Sounds like he's freeloaded long enough though.

It is in no way unreasonable to give him a week to move out. Whether to somewhere temporary or more permanent. Not your circus, not your monkeys.

You have paid him for a service for a decade. That doesn't mean you owe him anything.

Staying a MONTH is a pisstake.

It's also very worrying that he couldn't ask any friends or family. There could be a serious history.

UnfinishedUsernam · 10/06/2022 09:16

He sounds like a hoe er I mean hobo.

10HailMarys · 10/06/2022 09:18

The problem is he likes to go to the gym at 5.15 am

I mean, I don't think that's the only problem, is it?

CounsellorTroi · 10/06/2022 09:21

AnyFucker · 10/06/2022 07:03

Is this the plot of a dodgy horror film ?

I was wondering that. I recently watched a silly film on Netflix called A Haunting at The Rectory that involved a gardener moving in. OP is your husband a man of the cloth and is he really drippy in a rather creepy way?

boatahoy · 10/06/2022 09:26

How bizarre! We've known our gardener for over 12 years and I can't imagine him just turning up on our doorstep and moving in!

ringemoooo · 10/06/2022 09:28

He says he will start to look for a rental this week but he’s been understandably quite low and hasn’t started yet but I trust he will

Being "understandably" quite low is not a reason to not start looking for a place. He's been at yours a whole month. He should have started looking immediately. How long does he think he's staying at yours??? Probably living in the hope that things will blow over with his partner and he can move back in there rather than getting his own place.
Give him until the end of the week and then he needs to be gone - doesn't matter if he hasn't found a place - he can either stay with other friends or relatives, rent an AirBnB or a hotel room for a short time (which might focus his mind on actually finding a place to stay when he's having to pay to stay there).

billy1966 · 10/06/2022 09:30

10HailMarys · 10/06/2022 09:18

The problem is he likes to go to the gym at 5.15 am

I mean, I don't think that's the only problem, is it?

😂

First laugh of the day.

Thanks OP.

But honestly, are you and your husband on drugs?

BullShitDetectionService · 10/06/2022 09:32

Mom757855 · 10/06/2022 05:59

About a month ago our gardener turned up on our doorstep with all his stuff in bin bags. His partner had thrown him out. He had no where to go, so we let him stay with us. We are not friends and have a professional relationship but we have enough room for him and he would have slept in his car otherwise. He says he will start to look for a rental this week but he’s been understandably quite low and hasn’t started yet but I trust he will.
The problem is he likes to go to the gym at 5.15 am and it wakes us all up. Is it unreasonable to ask him to go at a later time? We have two small kids and my husband has a very demanding job.
thanks

Beep

katepilar · 10/06/2022 09:32

If he cant leave without waking you up then he should do it. I guess keeping his routine is important to him in the circumstances but your sleep shouldnt suffer.

Cantstopsweeping · 10/06/2022 09:34

Nonce.

jaffacakesareepic · 10/06/2022 09:45

Im confused why cant he just stay in the chauffeurs accomodation or with the gamekeeper? I mean you are pretty relexed having a live out gardener in the first place, I perfer to keep mine on the estate in case I find a poorly trimmed bush that needs attending to

I feel like mumsnet standards are slipping and they are letting the riff raff in nowadays

Do you not have an outbuilding or two you can convert for him or a spare cottage?

Comefromaway · 10/06/2022 09:47

If he can afford a gym he can afford a cheap hotel.

MakingNBaking · 10/06/2022 09:52

Does he go by Mellors?

MakingNBaking · 10/06/2022 09:53

But seriously, I'd just say, I need you gone by Monday morning for family reasons.

AmaryIlis · 10/06/2022 09:57

How could it possibly be unreasonable to ask him to be considerate? You're doing him a massive favour. And surely a gardener gets enough exercise by, well, gardening - why does he need the gym?

Seaweed42 · 10/06/2022 10:01

What did he do that his partner threw him out in such a way that he had no time to find anything else. Are you not worried about that?
Unless he's a cocklodger who doesn't pay the bills but does a bit of cash in hand gardening because it suits him.
And he's been there a MONTH already? He's a cocklodger and it has never occurred to him that he'd have to look after himself.
He thinks you are his parents. After all 'it's alright for people like you have a really big house and a big garden. I have nothing and am all alone in the world"
He thought his partner was his Mummy. That's why she kicked him out.
You need to sit him down this weekend and tell him to find somewhere else that it's not working.

Yodaisawally · 10/06/2022 10:04

is this the plot to a really bad book?

StooOrangeyForCrows · 10/06/2022 10:07

This is why MNers don't answer their doors. Had you not answered the door you wouldn't be in this predicament now. MN 101 right there.