Should I have done something earlier?

[PetraBP]

DD now 7 was potty trained just before she turned 2.

Quick learner and no fuss.

We kept the pull-ups on at night and she’s never been dry.

I assumed she would just grow out of it, start to wake up dry and we could stop using them, but she hasn’t.

All the advice seems to just leave it and she’ll be dry in her own time.

I’ve never spoken to her about it as I’ve not wanted her to feel bad or embarrassed about it. I’ve never really thought much about it until recently. We’ve just sort of drifted into the situation.

Should I have done something earlier?

Is there anything I could do now without upsetting her?

Should I just leave it or is there a risk that she will go into adulthood still needing them if I do?

I’ve only seen the 4-7 year old size in Aldi. I don’t think there is a bigger one.

DD is quite tall and they still seem quite huge on her.

One problem with DryNites is that the 4-7 size is branded and very girlie but the larger ones seem to resemble adult undies and are a bit odd looking.

The Aldi ones are much more neutral and discrete.

Thanks. Yes. The 8-15 ones are designed look more grown up.

Good luck for tonight!

Wet again today.

Nothing said. Just a normal morning. Will only be reporting back if anything changes.

If the bladder stretching by drinking more water works, I will post again to say how long it took.

Likewise if it’s not finished in 6 months and GP finds a problem.

Bye for now- I’m off to a more interesting thread! 😉

DD has been a bit quiet this week. I asked her if anything was up. She told me this morning that she really didn’t like waking up in a wet bed over the weekend and it really bothered her what a mess she had made.

I told her not to worry about it, but I fear I’ve now created anxiety about something where none existed before. 😔

If I was your daughter I would be ever grateful you were my mum and thankful for the sensitive, supportive, relaxed and reassuring way you have handled this. You were absolutely right to give it a go (as per GPs advice) and absolutely right I how you handled it. Parenting high five to you OP. You should be lining up for your medal not berating yourself.

Thank you for your kind words.

Not stressing her out un-necessarily is more important than night dryness at this stage, I think.

We’ve been continuing with the drinking more water, out of necessity because it’s so hot!

We haven’t had any more dry nights, sadly, but we did have one night where she woke up in the middle of having a wee. She was able to stop herself and finished off in the toilet, so I gave her massive praise for that and she seemed really pleased with herself.

In the past, I think her attitude has been “I’ve started so I’ll finish” if she’s woken up mid-accident.

I’ll regard this one as progress.

One of mine was dry 50-70% of nights for years before finally being dry.

She was a very deep sleeper that loved and needed her sleep.

As you are doing get her to drink so much more during the day. DD stayed in pull ups because it's much easier to clear up etc. I think she was 7-8 before she was dry at night the other three were dry at night by 3.

That is great progress. You’re right about not wanting to stress her out. It isn’t worth it.

Keep trying what the doctor suggests and keep the pull ups on but don’t subject her to another wet bed tomorrow night. Wait until she has a reasonable run of dry pull ups before you try again.

I do ask DD from time to time if she wants to try without but she tells me she will drop wearing Drynites when the wetting stops. She saw her older sister stop at puberty and she is comfortable with the idea that she will probably stop wetting in a year or two.

DD was very keen not to go without her pull-ups on Saturday. I hadn’t even suggested it to her, but obviously last week had an impact on her. She seemed a bit on-edge during the day and I suspect that was why.

She was much more relaxed when I told her
I would never make her go without unless she wanted to.

Perhaps that’s a lesson to others tempted to try “cold-turkey” 😞

On the plus side, we have continued with more water and have had one more mid-accident waking and dash to the bathroom, so maybe things are maturing (slowly).

Hi @PetraBP, I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate your thread and your updates. I think you are a wonderful mum and you are helping others (like me) at the same time too. I also have a 7 year old who is still in pull-ups at night. Going through very much the same as you. I have been relaxed about it, but since my DS turned 7 recently I did think that maybe I should start to 'do' something? Then I saw your thread and it has been such a relief to know that this is something others are going through too, plus there's been some fab advice on here which I am taking on board.
My DS can have a few dry nights, but then a totally full pull-up another. Apparently my brother was the same, and (back in the 90's) he was given one of those alarm mats which woke him up. It did work but I am still unsure if we are at that stage. I much prefer trying more water, cutting out blackcurrant squash and letting his body mature into being dry. I too am like you and just want to reassure him that he's not doing anything wrong. It will happen for him, his body is just still figuring it out. Anyway... thank you for sharing your experience, you're not alone and there are lots of us on MN (like me) that are experiencing this too. I'm such a lurker, don't post a lot at all and am still building up the courage to start threads of my own, but your thread touched me and I wanted to thank you

you're doing great OP.

My son was potty trained at 2 and then wet at night for ages.

he drank a LOT always and so his bladder was very full. We lifted him at 10 pm for years, he just drank too muich to last the night. he was also a deep sleeper, so he didn't wake easily.

I think there are so many parts ot this that are individual to the child, and their patterns and their needs. Trust what it working for you and your dd.

I run a kids camp for 6-12 year olds and very year there is at least one kid in pull ups at night. Sometimes quite an old kid. We handle it discreetly. It is normal.

I highly recommend 'stop bedwetting in 7 days' by Alicia Eaton - brilliant book (£6.99 on Kindle) - I wish I'd read it earlier for my DS!

@NaomiS1 Thank you for
the recommendation. I’ve had a look at it and it seems to run contrary to a lot of the advice I’ve read elsewhere, including here.

It seems to suggest that in allowing her to keep the pull-ups on, that’s somehow giving her permission to wet in her sleep and that by keeping her in what is basically a nappy I’ve been subconsciously programming her into continuing to use it.

It’s because there’s so much conflicting advice out there that I came here.

Can I ask, did it actually work for you? If so, what was your situation? Feel free to keep to the very basics if you don’t want to over-share!

@JustGettingReady and @steppemum

Thank you both for your kind words. I’m just trying to muddle through a world of
conflicting advice on this topic.

The only consistent thing I can find is that this is far more common than most people think but many of us simply don’t talk about it.

@PetraBP my DS is 11 and we had tried everything. I left him in pull ups for a long time thinking he'd grow out of it. At 9 I took him to the GP who ran tests (all fine) suggested an alarm (woke up the rest of the house but not DS) prescribed desmopressin (reduced the quantity of urine at night, but didn't stop the bedwetting), so we were referred to a pediatrician at the local hospital when he was 10. We tried disimpaction (see ERIC website) in case it was constipation (it wasn't), we tried keeping a bladder and bowel diary, tried changing his diet, not having drinks at least an hour before bed, double voiding before bed, taking him out of pull ups.... you name it, we tried it!
The 'stop bedwetting in 7 days' booked worked for us, although he's still not completely dry, but only wetting about once a week now, whereas before he was wetting every night (or practically every night) whatever we did.
I'm sure it doesn't work for everyone, of course, but may be worth a try.
I haven't read through everyone's responses to your original post but ERIC (the bladder ans bowel charity) has a helpline and lots of useful info on their website.
Good luck!

My child who wet the bed turned out to have sleep apnea. Probably worth having chat with gp

I know everyone’s advice is impacted by their own experiences but I can say based on my experience 100% that giving a child Drynites (or similar) does NOT delay the end of bed wetting.

I was wetting the bed until I was 15.

Night nappies were taken away before I started school because they were seen as being “for babies”.

There were no protective pants for older children at all (as far as I’m aware) in those days. Just “protective” sheets.

I still wet the bed until I was 15.

That was not because I was being subconsciously enabled into doing so by being given nappies or protective pants.

I didn’t have any!

Frankly, even a nappy would have given me a better quality of life as I would have slept better.

DD14 had nappies, followed by Pull-Ups, followed by Drynites non-stop. She had a totally shame-free care-free experience and stopped naturally when she was 13.

Based on my experience and that of DD14, I can say that the wearing of protection had absolutely NOTHING to do with when we stopped wetting.

However, the quality of life difference between our childhoods was dramatic.

That’s why I let DD12 have them. I know she will stop soon because puberty stopped it for me and DD14. There is no way Drynites have prolonged her bed wetting.

I think we’re making genuine progress with the water.

DD is very much on board and is taking a larger water bottle to school each day and drinking as much as she can.

Luckily her school allows loo breaks whenever a child needs it so an extra break or two during the day isn’t too disruptive.

This morning when I went to wake her for school her eyes flicked open and she literally leapt out of bed going “arrrrrgh!!!”
and ran into the bathroom.

When she emerged she explained that when she woke up she could feel that she was weeing so she dashed to the loo.

Her pull-up was only a tiny bit wet, suggesting that she hadn’t wet it at all in the night.

She doesn’t want to stop wearing the pull-ups yet as she doesn’t want to “make another mess” of the bed, but I think we may be on the way to night dryness.

@EllieFAnt82 I agree with you- I don’t think wearing her pull-ups is making her lazy or stopping her from wetting. If it was, she wouldn’t be making the effort to go, even if it’s after an accident has started happening.

I’m reading this with interest too, my DS is 8 almost 9 and has never been dry at night. He is also a deep sleeper and I’ve tried everything but not the alarm as I know it wouldn’t wake him (can sleep through is sister crying in the night!). He’s at an age now where he’s starting to get embarrassed by it but I’ve explained to him there is no shame, he’s just developing at a different rate. He’s a tall boy so the 8-15 dry nights are good for him but he does occasionally leak through them due to the volume
of urine he passes at night. I’m going to try giving him more water in the mornings to see if that helps. He’s also a bit of a “dribbler” and when he’s engrossed in a task/movie etc he ignores the signals to go - which I do get a bit cross with him about! My Step daughter was the same and was 10 Before she stopped bed wetting, the GP prescribed desmopressin for her and after 2 weeks she was dry and they stopped it. She hasn’t been wet since.

Mine both got the desmopressin nasal spray. They didn’t like it and it didn’t work for them, but might be worth trying…

🎵Don’t worry…pee happy!!!🎵

Sorry. Too much wine. Didn’t mean to be flippant about the issue.

@EllieFAnt82

Don’t worry about it! Sometimes you have to laugh… even about bed wetting.

Come to think of it, that would make an amazing advertising slogan for night pants! 🤣

With all this water, we’ve had more “waking while wetting” episodes, which I guess is a step in the right direction…?

We just need to get to the “waking BEFORE wetting now…”

At least the pants keep everything dry…. 🤞

Spoke to the GP about Demopressin and was told it’s usually prescribed as a quick fix for older children where nothing else has worked.

Both I and she are reluctant to go to medication at this age.

We’re pressing on with bladder stretching. Still hit and miss. One more “waking mid accident” but also one morning with a soaked pull-up that leaked and upset her… 😩