To think this amount of exercise is too much for DS?

[MishMashofAllSorts]

DS is nearly 16, currently doing his GCSEs so on study leave. I am worried about the amount of exercise he is doing and think it’s bordering on an obsession. DH disagrees.

He exercises all day, everyday. There is no day off. It starts with him sneaking out of the house at 5am for a run. He then showers and if he doesn’t have any exams he then heads out to the gym/pool where he is currently spending at least 4-5 hrs a day in the gym, doing classes and swimming laps. He then meets up with friends and usually ends up doing something active there too. In the evenings he goes to various sports clubs/activities like football, boxing, swimming, rowing etc or he’ll go for another long run and another solo swim. He is walking/running miles and miles everyday.

He gets annoyed if his routine is interrupted. He refuses to be driven anywhere or get the bus even though we’ve paid for an annual bus pass for him as it “makes you lazy”. He will walk/ride his bike everywhere. If I ask him to have a day off he declines, which means our family time is affected. He also gets severe headaches sometimes with vomiting, which I think are because he sweats, drinks loads of water but doesn’t replace the salts he loses. I’ve tried giving him some of those lucozade sport drinks but he won’t use them because they’re full of sugar.

DH says I’m overreacting and it’s a good thing he’s so sporty and at least it means he’s not out getting into trouble or getting drunk etc. But AIBU to be a bit concerned that this is too much? If you have a sporty teen how much do they do?

(n/c for this)

If you suggested that you like the idea of PT to make sure he trains "smart" to reach his full potential. He would set his targets with PT, not your targets although you can tell PT he's "doing a lot but not sure he's making best use of his time". He might listen to the "over-training" message from someone else who can lay out the whole situation to him. Else PT might assure you it's not too much. Either way seems like potential progress if you can afford PT. Try to find PT who reviews nutrition, too.

It's really hard but actually the amount of exercise he's doing it does sound like he has disordered exercise and heading towards an eating disorder. I'd try ring beat eating disorders www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/get-information-and-support/get-help-for-myself/i-need-support-now/helplines/ or something similar for some help and advice. Good luck

Those saying this is athletic behaviours need to give their heads a wobble.this lad is in serious trouble.and just because he's not looking emaciated doesn't mean he's not severely malnourished and doing permanent damage until fatal to his organs.ypu cannot push it this hard and not be nourishing or resting and it be sustainable.and his responses are typical of eating disorders.and getting a pt?please that dangerous.an eating disorder doesn't stop because someone shows them how to exercise.he will either do more or lie to everyone causing him to flee even deeper into his disorder.this isn't about his food and exercise.there is a reason this has it's grips on him.the rput9ne he's found now is a symptom of that that now an obsession and Ingrained response.he need help.dont be robbed off op.force them to help.thye no so little on eds.its so frustrating and fatal for so many sufferers.dmagi g to families.
He need support.its key.and don't stop pushing until they give it to you.
You can do this.but it takes lots of strength and push back.he won't want to give up somethi g that made him feel on control wheb he lost it.bit trouble is what he isn't seeing is he now has np control his disorder does.

What's that thing called orthorexia - it sounds like that. Obsession with clean eating and exercising. I'm not sure what's best to help with that but I would be worried as it sounds very obsessive for him.

I'm sorry OP I haven't read the whole thread but I have read all of your posts.
Your son is imo very unwell. He has an eating disorder. It doesn't matter what it is called. That is what it is.
You need to get the GP to see him urgently. Or self refer to your local ED team/ CAMHS. In fact I would actually be going to A and E for checks asap. ECG, blood tests, standing and sitting blood pressure and weight, height etc. I cannot believe a GP believed this much exercise was OK. Seriously it is totally shocking.
My DD started over exercising in lock down. She is an elite sports person and was worried about her fitness. It quickly became compulsive. She then started eating healthily. Within 2 months she had lost 2 stone and was nearly hospitalised and tube fed. We only kept her out by the skin of our teeth. She developed a dangerous long Q phase in her heart which untreated (with food and rest) could have led to sudden cardiac death.
He is not eating enough to sustain his activity levels. It is impossible to eat enough 'cleanly' to do so. He will have lost weight.
Here are the red flags to me
Unable to take a day off
Says he will then does not
Refuses foods he would have eaten in the past
Please please get him medical help now. I cannot tell you have dangerous this sounds to me. People will call you hysterical. But that is better than his life being put in danger .

Sorry other red flags
Perfectionism
Sneaking off
Denial

A PT is pointless we tried it. Dd listened, nodded in agreement and ignored all advice. In the grip of an ED they are not rationale. The ED knows best.
And to anyone who thinks there is nothing wrong with chicken, salad and green beans you are talking from the perspective of a moderately active adult. Not an excessively active growing teenage boy who even without the activity described needs about 4000 cals a day. I defy anyone to get that from.lean meat and veg.
He needs specialist ED input

Please also look at the BEAT website for help.

Totally SPOT ON and with the urgency to your post.thankyou! You said it so much better than me.
I hope your d's managed to get some help and is recovered.and your all ok.eds a the fucking shitballs to fight.intervention early as possible is key too.

The fact he is doing random sports whenever he can is worrying to me. If he was actually “training” it would be more clearly targeted activities to build the right kind of muscles/stamina/to obtain specific performance outcomes. But if he is just randomly doing any exercise/activity that he can in a scattergun approach this tells me he is not actually motivated by the sport. He might have given himself impossible to reach targets in terms of calorie burning and just be obsessively looking for any opportunity to burn and cut calories. You’re right to be worried. Especially getting up at 5 to go and do seemingly random exercise (hiking). Push for help

OP, you are his mum and you know him best. If you are concerned, then change your GP until you find one who will take your concerns seriously. There are some who special in adolescent mental health, for example. Please don't delay. Again, as a paed nurse with some experience with teens suffering from disordered eating and body dysmorphia, what you have shared about your son is concerning.

Find another GP

That's appalling

Hi @MishMashofAllSorts been thinking a lot about you and your DS today. Hope you have got some help. Pls update us if you feel able. Happy to message privately if it helps.