To think this amount of exercise is too much for DS?

[MishMashofAllSorts]

DS is nearly 16, currently doing his GCSEs so on study leave. I am worried about the amount of exercise he is doing and think it’s bordering on an obsession. DH disagrees.

He exercises all day, everyday. There is no day off. It starts with him sneaking out of the house at 5am for a run. He then showers and if he doesn’t have any exams he then heads out to the gym/pool where he is currently spending at least 4-5 hrs a day in the gym, doing classes and swimming laps. He then meets up with friends and usually ends up doing something active there too. In the evenings he goes to various sports clubs/activities like football, boxing, swimming, rowing etc or he’ll go for another long run and another solo swim. He is walking/running miles and miles everyday.

He gets annoyed if his routine is interrupted. He refuses to be driven anywhere or get the bus even though we’ve paid for an annual bus pass for him as it “makes you lazy”. He will walk/ride his bike everywhere. If I ask him to have a day off he declines, which means our family time is affected. He also gets severe headaches sometimes with vomiting, which I think are because he sweats, drinks loads of water but doesn’t replace the salts he loses. I’ve tried giving him some of those lucozade sport drinks but he won’t use them because they’re full of sugar.

DH says I’m overreacting and it’s a good thing he’s so sporty and at least it means he’s not out getting into trouble or getting drunk etc. But AIBU to be a bit concerned that this is too much? If you have a sporty teen how much do they do?

(n/c for this)

God, this is scary. Thank you for sharing. How is he now? What was the treatment?

Please OP. Ask your DH to google (or equivalent) orthorexia and see if that makes the penny drop. I’mno doctor, no PT, no expert. And I know no one should play Dr Google. But I think this might show your DH that there is such a thing as ‘too much exercise and too much clean eating’

Overexercising to the point of compulsion….
Avoiding sugar…
Becoming fussy with food…
Losing a little bit of weight…
Water-loading…..

This smacks of an eating disorder.

Eating disorders can spiral out of control quickly. Time is of the essence OP.

op try these

www.hollandandbarrett.com/shop/product/salt-stick-fastchews-lemon-lime-60043020?gbraid=0AAAAAD96OoLPSZjoouqCfyJ0QBf_urZgu&skuid=043020&utm_campaign=shopping&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&&gbraid=0AAAAAD96OoLPSZjoouqCfyJ0QBf_urZgu&gclid=CjwKCAjwtIaVBhBkEiwAsr7-c-flfzRdAguKM63ORrpg_mIbgS26uxOjISLYM5HnoZZwlfT4A58TzxoCy2sQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

My husband left to his own devices would be like that. In his head he knows rest days are needed, it’s ok to balance food etc but when he gets going he gets gripped and it becomes almost a fear of missing a day.

Hes always managed to stay on the healthy side of obsessive but I can see how easily it could happen. He uses those salt sticks so hopefully your son will be ok with them.

A good PT is a start but if your boy is really gripped he may not listen to anyone. Just to warn you.

Ok please get him help.
This is classic ortherxia.often still misunderstood but is a very real very dangerous eating disorder.
If his electrolytes are if this is risk of sudden heart failure.potassium is one of the most vital ingredients for our body.get that off wack and it's fatal.
It doesn't matter if he's not losing or underweight! Why do people still spout that crap with eating disorders.yoy can be malnourished,starved and anorexic at ANY weight.food and weight is a symptom,of many.not the illness.its a mental illness.

Don’t worry about the e consult OP, just put in here what you’ve told us. It’s just a quick way to get info over to the GP.

I’ll join those who say that exercise and healthy eating is good, but not to the point of obsession.

So… my friend. Absolutely lovely lad. Very bright, possibly dyslexic. My best study buddy. A cute, chubby and very-much younger brother with much older siblings and older parents.

He got to 15/16 and decided he was going to change things… wasn’t into team sports but got heavily into a sweat-box type gym. Cycling, walking and running everywhere. Within a few months he looked amazing, the absolute picture of health.

We do wonder what actually went on at that gym… anyway… he became addicted to anything that gave him an adrenaline rush… mad climbing mainly… then doing lots of normal stuff but in extreme ways. His character totally changed.

I’ll stop there because the rest is sad and outing.

Please stress to your DS while you can the importance of doing things ‘properly’ as part of a programme. Also see if you can connect with him to do family stuff together as a distraction maybe.

I'm so fed up of people not getting the help they need due to weight coming into it.its a literal fatal flaw and misunderstanding and stigma around eating disorders.a life threatening myth.

I’ve done the econsult so hopefully I’ll get some kind of response early next week. I asked him to have a day off from the gym/pool today thinking we’d do something together as a family, fully expecting an argument, but he said ok. Woke up today to find he’s already gone out, god knows what time and left a note saying he’s gone on a long hike and will be gone all day. Am livid with him! He’s not answering his phone either because he knows I’ll be annoyed with him.

Go and find him and bring him home.

I’d love to but I don’t know where he’s gone. There are so many different places to walk around here. DH is telling me to just let him go and we’ll talk to him this evening. I’ve resorted to texting him and told him I expect him to reply or I’m cancelling his gym membership.

OP in one of your posts you talk about you and your DHs perception of your sons weight, height, build. It is not your perceptions that matter to him, it is his perceptions, and they could well be skewed by the current obsession with exercise. You talk about his perfectionist traits, often perfectionists need to have control of situations , for many teens having control is not something that they are able to do in life, except in relationship to their own body.

Yes, you’re right. Thanks. We’re going to have a conversation with him this evening to try and get to the bottom of it.

I had a friend who was bulimic and this sounds like her. Watch the documentary that Freddie Flintoff did.

I think it's quite probable you won't get to the bottom if it this evening, and that your DS might refuse to engage in a conversation with you. He may not think he has a problem at all. You're going to have to work out how to deal with that.

Have you looked up ortherxia op?
Also when you talk to him there will be your body trapped inside aching to be saved.but often with a disorder they can't,this illness has given them something when they were not coping,or control,or a numbing to the pain they feel inside,or so other can finally see they are hurting via symptom showing on the outside.many possible reasons.but the fact remains it saved him from some sort of pain.so he will come across as scared,possibly angry and even aggressive so u don't take it from him.
You HAVE to keep going.he will lie.cheat.anything to keep going.
You've got to help him see he doesn't need to do this.and you've got to help him and you see why this began and why he needs it,how he feels when he doesn't do it,his thoughts on life,body,school,everything.this didn't start from body stuff the body was a symptom for an unmet need or pain.
And now though unfortunately the illness has taken him.its sounded invaded so this is why ealt intervention is key in eds.they become a way of life.they become more mean(the ed voixes) and harder to let go of and the illness will fight all who threaten it.your boys head will be going mad.
Help him believe there is another way.that he doesn't need to push like this and that your hear.support is vital.feeling safe.feeling supported is key.
That first confrontation though is never easy.he will be like a bunny in headlights and act so.

How are you and DS getting on OP?

He must be eating constantly!

If an eating disorder is ruled out, I'd get him to talk to a personal trainer.

I think he'd be more inclined to listen to a PT than anyone else that says hes over training and missing out on potential gains.

Does he spent a lot of time on social media? It really sets up some unrealistic goals.

Hello,

My son (now 21) has had orthorexia since he was about 13. It has now developed into bulimia nervosa as well. He spends all day exercising and eating extremely cleanly and has rituals such as not eating until late afternoon so he can do the bulk of his exercise fasted. Then, after about two or three days of extreme exercise and restrictive eating, he has a day in which he binges and vomits.

His behaviour started with extreme exercise and controlled eating. It progressed from there.

Getting help is really hard, because, the young person often does no feel like there is anything 'wrong' or does not want to lose control over their diet and exercise. As they get older, we have little influence as far as medical professionals are concerned.

BEAT the eating disorder helpline has been useful, but mainly as a support for me.

One of the worst things about this disorder is that it can take over completely.

I agree with him on the lucozade bit.
That does sound like a lot of exercise.

Sounds like eating disorder. Boys at his age eat loads of food, including sugary crap and McDonald's, when they are active.

Well, the GP isn’t bothered, doesn’t want to see him. Said if I’m still worried in a few weeks to contact them again. Basically, I am a hysterical mother with a DS who is simply anxious and stressed about his exams and I shouldn’t be bothering them with it.

We did have a chat with DS. Well, I say chat but it was basically us asking him things and him shrugging his shoulders, rolling his eyes and muttering under his breath without really answering us. He has eaten fairly well the last few days, a decent amount but all very ‘clean’. Refused KFC on Saturday night, refused roast potatoes on Sunday, refused ice cream yesterday. Ate fish, chicken, green veg, salad etc. I don’t think it’s enough to sustain the level of activity he is doing.

After much huffing and eye rolling he agreed to have a rest day this week, so we’ll see if he actually does. I don’t really know what to do if he doesn’t. Do I need to give consequences for ignoring what we’ve asked? I’m trying to approach this carefully, don’t want to make things worse. He admitted the headaches are horrible and agreed to try the electrolyte tabs I’ve bought (zero sugar etc) so hopefully that will solve the headache issue.

He has football training now, which finishes at 9. I told him to come straight home. Yesterday evening he went to boxing club and then spent another two hours running before finally coming home. He was up and out running at 5 this morning and he’s been to the gym and pool today too.

I’m at a bit of a loss really. I don’t know what to do.

Hi OP, funny our GP told us our son was 'a bit thin' . Two days later he was admitted to hospital .
The treatment was supervised eating and lots of psychiatric help. It was a slow and painful journer, one step forward and two back.
Two years on he is fully recovered, we cannot quite believe it considering how ill he was.
I hope things work out for your son but in my opinion he definitely needs help. Please don't be fobbed off or falsely reassured by your doctor. I have found they know very little about eating /exercise disorders.
Even the consultants in the hospital were quite ignorant of some of the basics. The only people who knew what they were talking about was our lovely psychiatrist and the dietician.

It does sound like an unfeasible amount of exercise. 2 hours of running at 6 minute miles would be 20 miles. Thats approaching elite level marathon run training and it would be difficult for a non elite level athlete to train. Perhaps he is running very slowly? He also seems to be doing a lot of different sports - boxing, gym, swimming, running. But are you sure he is actually training all the time he is away, as opposed to getting changed, chatting with friends, having lunch, etc.? It all sounds very scattergun and unstructured, which is why I think a PT or coach would help.

But actually training twice a day is fairly normal amongst athletes, as is avoiding excess sugars.

We did have a chat with DS. Well, I say chat but it was basically us asking him things and him shrugging his shoulders, rolling his eyes and muttering under his breath without really answering us. He has eaten fairly well the last few days, a decent amount but all very ‘clean’. Refused KFC on Saturday night, refused roast potatoes on Sunday, refused ice cream yesterday. Ate fish, chicken, green veg, salad etc. I don’t think it’s enough to sustain the level of activity he is doing.

Theres nothing wrong with any of that, as long as he gets enough calories. Sorry, but KFC is vile shit and you couldn't pay me to eat it, and ice cream is really quite unhealthy, and the roast potatoes could just be personal preference. Does he eat outwith the home?

Would he respond to a physical trainer telling him that he's over-training? Because a good PT would be objective.

At that age my dd was in elite training (national level) and it was very much impressed on them all the time that they needed rest days, in order that their bodies could recover and have time to repair themselves. Otherwise you can very easily end up with small niggles which eventually become chronic injury problems that will not go away.

Training every day is not recommended, and if he talks to any of his coaches, they will say the same thing - especially if they know just how much he is doing.

Oh and bananas are very good for electrolytes, containing as they do both magnesium and potassium. You only have to watch Wimbledon to see how many of the world's top tennis players snack on them during matches.