To think this is too much for a year 6 prom dress

[Motherinapickle]

DD is in year 6. Her friend has got her prom dress from JJ house and DD wanted to have a look on there too so I agreed.

The dress she’s chosen is £53 and will cost £17 to post.
Aibu to think this is too expensive for a year 6 prom?

Her shoes and accessories are yet to be bought!

We can afford it but I’m conscious of not ‘spoiling’. She’s really kind and thoughtful and recognises that we’re privileged and has said so ( with no prompt from me when looking at the dresses). I know she’ll be grateful and take it for granted but I’m still hesitant.

aibu?

ps if anyone can direct me to junior bridesmaid dresses sites that are cheaper, I’d appreciate it very much!

My school had one in 1991 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP, if you can afford it, it’s really not that much. You say she’s a good kid who would be grateful. So I don’t see how giving her something she wants for a special occasion could be ‘spoiling’ her.

Say you don’t get her what she wants - you’ll save, what, 20/30 quid? Is it worth it?

My DD is in y7 now, and last summer was lucky enough to have a leavers' party. She and most of her friends wore party clothes, but some wore jeans, shorts, whatever they felt comfortable in. My DD wore a lovely jumpsuit but it was one that she already owned.

I do think this constant pressure to buy new things is unnecessary.

I hadn't heard of JJ house so looked it up. Trust pilot reviews aren't good - 2.3
Lots of people with orders that never arrived or took weeks, or wanting to get a refund for poor products and unable to. And even if you get a refund, postage costs wouldn't be refunded. The cost isn't an issue if you can afford it, but I would look elsewhere.

Definitely sounds like a time to introduce her to Vinted for this sort of thing.

Chances are that she'll only wear it once so £70 is a lot to spend.

Or is it possible to rent a dress? There's companies that do that now too.

Even if is common for 11 YOs to wear 'posh dresses' to proms, it doesn't make it right and it's not great for the environment or inclusive to families who can't afford to spend all that money on a dress for one event.

I think too expensive. Also likely to be low or single use, and therefore not good for the planet.

Personally would end year 6 overblown events such as this, I cannot consider any school that does this to be outstanding.

I honestly think my Yr6 will wear Jeans, even if she chooses a nice dress beforehand...

Leaving school seems to be an expensive business.

Have you looked on the monsoon website? They do a lot of party dresses that may work.

Although I agree a prom for primary school is ridiculous. We had a leavers disco. I was super cool and wore ripped bootleg jeans and trashed trainers which were the height of fashion.

Seems a bit sad having kids dress up like that, just let them be kids. Maybe you can suggest to the school to make it a disco? Bit more age appropriate.

Year 6 so you could theoretically find something decent for less, the TK Maxx website is a good place to look too. They had some amazing Stella McCartney dresses for £39.99 from £200 and some fab Chloe ones too.

will it arrive in time?
where is it being posted from?

the £17 is because it’s coming from China and once dispatched it will literally arrive in a few days.

There may also be a customs charge once the courier delivers, it’s not a huge amount, maybe £10 but something to consider.

that would be enough to put me off,
coming from China - takes weeks
cost of delivery

i would look elsewhere

I think prom has just become another, more “ sophisticated” word for party.

I have a friend in her early twenties, she has posted a few dresses for sale, calling them prom dresses.
I would’ve called them cocktail dresses, they were short and black. To me prom dress = ball gown, but perhaps everyone else just means any evening dress.

My y6 dd is having a leavers party, and will wear a dress, dress code says “party clothes”.

I wouldn’t pay £17 postage, but £50 for a dress is ok if you can afford it - you can always sell it afterwards.

Giving her a nice dress won't make her spoilt.

This! If you can afford it get her something that she likes and makes her feel comfortable and special.

Wait till you get to year 11 prom - that's orbits in comparison

I don't think the price of the dress is extortionate but no way would I pay £17 for postage! Also if you are buying online she can't try it on, which is part of the fun. I'd take her shopping, bridal shops are your best bet. I've also never heard of a prom in year 6, I think DDs school have a leavers assembly and a disco.

Our DD is now 22, her school had 2 proms in Y6. One was organised by some of the parents where they'd arranged limos for the girls and hummers (?) for the boys, and a big party after (cost £60) Then the school itself had the leavers prom.

DD had separate dresses for each but I bought them new from ebay and they were only a few pound each.

I'd go for the dress your DD wants tbh if you can afford it, then maybe sell it on afterwards.

@Prisonbreak
"My prom dress was £120 and that was 20 years ago so I’d say that’s a bargain"

Seriously? You paid £120 20yrs ago for a 11-12 year old's prom dress?!!!! Crazy!!!

Utterly ridiculous that 10-11yo are now having "proms" - going full on glam. My 3 (now all in secondary school) had leavers discos in a local venue and didn't need bloody prom dresses!

@Goldencarp we had one at my school in 2003 so I can assure you in some schools they did happen (nearly) 20 years ago. I think our year was the first, to be fair. I still have the photos… thank god they weren’t digital and still available online is all I can say 😂

I don't think it's the cost that's the issue as much as spending it on an unknown quantity from china which you will never be able to return. Agree with pp about taking her shopping or using a uk website with easy returns!

Oh, forgot to add - Mum bought me a dress I chose from Debenhams(!) and I reckon it must have been about £60. The shoes and bag were these HIDEOUS pink glittery things that I thought were amazing and insisted on wearing everywhere. I think the brand was Caprice? I remember thinking they were doubly amazing because they were made by the model/singer, not realising that was a whole other Caprice 😂

Why don’t you look on eBay ? Some amazing dresses on there for girls her age.

my prom dress at high school was £100 and when I was 12 my prom was literally a party dress, everyone’s was. Infact, mine was a summer skirt and top that I would later take on a family holiday. That was back in 99’ .

For a decent dress I'd say £50 is probably about right (and I'm not particularly well off!).

I honestly thought you were going to say £100's! I would have said no to that!

If it means as a family you won't go without other things I'd say perfectly reasonable to spend that and it won't spoil her.

Usually I'd roll my eyes over a year six prom, but after the couple of years they've had I'd want them all to be a bit spoilt for their leaver's thing. I'd probably spend within the same region for a John Lewis suit for DS if his school had one!