To think this is too much for a year 6 prom dress

[Motherinapickle]

DD is in year 6. Her friend has got her prom dress from JJ house and DD wanted to have a look on there too so I agreed.

The dress she’s chosen is £53 and will cost £17 to post.
Aibu to think this is too expensive for a year 6 prom?

Her shoes and accessories are yet to be bought!

We can afford it but I’m conscious of not ‘spoiling’. She’s really kind and thoughtful and recognises that we’re privileged and has said so ( with no prompt from me when looking at the dresses). I know she’ll be grateful and take it for granted but I’m still hesitant.

aibu?

ps if anyone can direct me to junior bridesmaid dresses sites that are cheaper, I’d appreciate it very much!

Some nice purple ones on Vinted for between £5 and £20, by Debenhams, Monsoon etc
Honestly OP, having learned the hard way when I bought DD a brand new bridesmaid dress last year for £68, she’s never worn it again, and I sold it this week for just £7.
things like this just aren’t worth buying new.

www.vinted.co.uk/kids/girls-clothing/formal-wear-and-special-occasions/1930625449-purple-bridesmaid-dress-age-11-12

www.vinted.co.uk/kids/girls-clothing/formal-wear-and-special-occasions/1939253241-beautiful-purple-full-length-gown

www.vinted.co.uk/kids/girls-clothing/formal-wear-and-special-occasions/1942798906-girls-navy-prom-party-dress

www.vinted.co.uk/kids/girls-clothing/formal-wear-and-special-occasions/1615898204-girls-dress

More:

www.vinted.co.uk/kids/girls-clothing/formal-wear-and-special-occasions/1636855046-dress

www.vinted.co.uk/kids/girls-clothing/formal-wear-and-special-occasions/1398906054-girls-bridesmaid-dress

www.vinted.co.uk/kids/girls-clothing/formal-wear-and-special-occasions/1276953444-purple-flowy-dress

I’m with you tbh
I always rolled my eyes at year 6 prom but they’re all so excited so here we are.

I’d rather they just called it a leavers’ disco or something. Or just have the leavers’ assembly and nothing else.

That’s exactly what it is @Hoolahulahoop. I’m very good at not ‘following the crowd’ for my own stuff but I don’t to feel like she’s missed out!
Somebody shake me! Or slap me!

'Leavers Disco' or any disco in primary didn't have the expectation for the girls to show up in a prom dress. They could have turned up in joggers and t-shirt and no shits were given.

@tigerbear you’re a star. Thanks very much for taking the time. The ones she is leaning towards have ruffle sleeves but I’ve saved these and will show them to her. I’d be happy to give her the difference because as you say, she’s unlikely to wear it more than once. Her just saving the money for herself would be a far better use for the.

I do want her in a dress she’s comfortable in though so we’ll see.

Children that age don’t understand money, they just want what they want. If you can find her a lovely dress for less money, great.

www.jjshouse.co.uk/Ball-Gown-Princess-Ankle-Length-Flower-Girl-Dress-Cotton-Blends-Sleeveless-Scoop-Neck-With-Flower-S-010087786-g87786?filterColor=lilac#/

It’s not too much to spend but it is too much to spend on JJsHouse. £17 postage for what will be a shit dress if it arrives at all is just such a waste of your money.

I believe a child is not spoilt by the things it has but by how it recieves those things.

If (as your DD appears to be) the child has manners, is grateful and appreciates its privilege in receiving them, i say its fine.

Our DS is always happy to share what he has, always shows thanks for them and appreciates what hes given, the minute any of that stops, so do the nice things.

I didnt know prom was a thing in the Uk, i suppose we have this to come 🤣I would spend that on a one off dress, your DD sounds lovely by the way, i hope she finds one she likes.

I'm the same age as your DD. Year 6 proms? They were not a thing in my primary school.

We have good old fashioned signing shirts and a leaving assembly.

You could always buy the dress she wants and re sell it on Vinted or Depop.

We had one, I’m a similar age, 34.

£53 for the dress is ok but £17 for the p&p isn't!

Prom for primary school is ridiculous. I think we had a disco and that was it

We spent similar on ds's outfit and that was 10 years ago. Sounds reasonable to me but then a lot of them turned up in limos so I feel we got off lightly in comparison.

It seems excessive to me, my DD's high school prom dress was about £70 including alterations. Thankfully the year six DC just wear regular clothes, there's a water fight afterwards usually.

Wow. That sounds a bargain. I paid £60 just for alterations for my DDs year 11 prom dress!

Neither of my DC (year 7 and year 11) had a year 6 prom.
I don't think it sounds outrageous, although I would possibly try to get a UK based one just for potential returns.

I think the school/PTA are wrong to call it a 'prom' as it sets up certain expectations of the children, especially the older-minded girls. It encourages one-upmanship in the parents/girls and makes those from poorer families feel socially excluded. Buying anything that won't be worn again seems a waste.

That said OP, your plan isn't outrageous, and you are in the situation your school have put you in.

My DD never got to wear her y11 prom dress though. I guess we'll have to sell it.

Is it that much? I dont know what clothes for 10 & 11 year olds cost but even a cheap dress from a supermarket can be £20 or £25 quid, for just a basic high street shop it could easily be £30-35 so I dont think this is that much for a "nice" party dress.

But then I'm clearly out of touch, my toddler has a "best/party" dress that was £35.

Not everywhere. Having been a primary teacher for 30+ years, I’ve never worked in a school that has a ‘prom’ as such. I do know of some schools where parents have organised a disco, kids arriving in limo’s with fake tans, fake nails and expensive suits but the schools themselves quite rightly didn’t have any involvement in them.
Proms are divisive and far from inclusive!

I left school 35 years ago.
They did exist but they were called end of year school disco. 🤗

Agree with pp who have said a year 6 prom is OTT. Mine had a school fair type evening with fun stalls and a BBQ and a bowling / pizza trip.

but I don’t think £50 is too bad for a dress. I mean the year 11 prom dresses are nearing £500! Not to mention make up, hair, nails etc.

@WineIsMyMainVice it has been for ages. I left primary school in 2002 and we had a prom then.

I think Year 6 'prom' is equivalent to a special, dressy school disco and it's a really big deal for the kids as they leave primary.

It's been around for quite a while, and after the bloody shitty pandemic school situation they've had for the last couple of years, I think it's great the kids get to celebrate in style with their friends.

If you can afford it, OP, don't spoil your daughters enjoyment by quibbling about (reasonable) price.