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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think I was not rude?

142 replies

supercalifragilicious · 08/06/2022 11:28

School run this morning, I was walking back home after dropping DC at school. I am recovering from a cold and still not 100%, with a slight headache. I was walking past a group of boys who gave particularly loud screams and shrieks, so I held my ears because loud noises make my headache worse. I did try to hold my ears in a most unnoticeable way, lowering my head and just gently holding my fingertips at my ears, while holding my elbows to my body so they don't stick out! In other words, I wasn't trying to show off how annoyed I am, just rather minding my own business and trying to get past this group of boys quickly.

A woman then approached me (presumably one of the mums?) and said to me: "Your behaviour is really rude, they're just children you know!", and then stormed off before I could manage a reply. Obviously I wasn't going to shout anything after her but it did leave me annoyed being told off for nothing. I actually think it is her who was being rude, not me.

What do you think?

OP posts:
worraliberty · 08/06/2022 11:33

I think you weren't as discreet as you thought you were.

Applespearsandoranges · 08/06/2022 11:34

She’s batshit just ignore
Might be worth taking headphones tho so you can play music or something (if that won’t give you a headache)

Original poster
supercalifragilicious · 08/06/2022 11:35

I might not have been, but since when holding your ears at a noise warrants a telling off my a random member of the public??

OP posts:
Boredsoentertainme · 08/06/2022 11:35

worraliberty · 08/06/2022 11:33

I think you weren't as discreet as you thought you were.

This.

Sirzy · 08/06/2022 11:35

I think that would appear rude to most people. But as you don’t even know who the woman was I wouldn’t worry about it

Boredsoentertainme · 08/06/2022 11:37

Also you say you were really annoyed, why were you annoyed? As she said, they were just kids.

Original poster
supercalifragilicious · 08/06/2022 11:38

I was annoyed at being told off, not at the kids.

OP posts:
tigger1001 · 08/06/2022 11:41

You were not being rude. Just ignore her.

PeppaPigIsBacon · 08/06/2022 11:42

I think the woman who spoke to you was rude. Adults don’t get to police other random adults’ behaviour unless it’s harmful (which holding ears isn’t)

Boredsoentertainme · 08/06/2022 11:42

supercalifragilicious · 08/06/2022 11:38

I was annoyed at being told off, not at the kids.

That’s not what you wrote

”I did try to hold my ears in a most unnoticeable way, lowering my head and just gently holding my fingertips at my ears, while holding my elbows to my body so they don't stick out! In other words, I wasn't trying to show off how annoyed I am, just rather minding my own business and trying to get past this group of boys quickly”

honestly it reads like you were pissed at rhe kids playing noisily so behaved immaturely to make a point and another adult clocked you and called you out on it and now you’re pissed off.

SallyWD · 08/06/2022 11:45

You weren't rude at all. If I saw you do this I'd assume you had a headache or maybe sensory issues and didn't like loud noises. If I was the mother of one of the boys I'd apologise for the noise.

BigCheeseSandwich · 08/06/2022 11:45

It’s fine to block your ears at a loud noise - some people are more sensitive to noise. I don’t think it’s rude.

10HailMarys · 08/06/2022 11:47

I think putting your hands over your ears just to walk past some children when you had a headache was a bit precious and over-dramatic. It's not like you were in bed with a migraine. You were out and about and just 'not 100%' with 'a slight headache'.

I'm sure plenty of people might wince a bit at a loud noise when they've got a bit of a headache, but putting your hands over your ears is making a bit of a fuss and consequently, I would imagine the woman thought you were doing it to make a point.

If someone suddenly held their nose as they walked past you, I think you would assume that they were doing that to indicate that you were smelly. This woman thought you were covering your ears to demonstrate that you were annoyed by the noise. I can understand why she thought that. Most people don't cover their ears when walking past some kids.

KettrickenSmiled · 08/06/2022 11:47

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BigCheeseSandwich · 08/06/2022 11:47

@Boredsoentertainme

The OP is not saying she was annoyed - she is saying that she wasn’t putting on a show of annoyance to make a point.

Viviennemary · 08/06/2022 11:48

Most people acknowledge covering your ears is a rude gesture. But woman was still wrong to pull you up on it. So both a bit on the impolite side I would say.

KettrickenSmiled · 08/06/2022 11:49

10HailMarys · 08/06/2022 11:47

I think putting your hands over your ears just to walk past some children when you had a headache was a bit precious and over-dramatic. It's not like you were in bed with a migraine. You were out and about and just 'not 100%' with 'a slight headache'.

I'm sure plenty of people might wince a bit at a loud noise when they've got a bit of a headache, but putting your hands over your ears is making a bit of a fuss and consequently, I would imagine the woman thought you were doing it to make a point.

If someone suddenly held their nose as they walked past you, I think you would assume that they were doing that to indicate that you were smelly. This woman thought you were covering your ears to demonstrate that you were annoyed by the noise. I can understand why she thought that. Most people don't cover their ears when walking past some kids.

You don't get to tell other people what noise level they find tolerable, how much their head hurts, how the noise exacerbates their headache, or when they are allowed to put their own hands over their own ears.

Are you this persnickity & controlling in the real world?

DinoWoman · 08/06/2022 11:49

You probably did look a little odd/odd but it was pointless and confrontational on the other mums part. There is no way her reaction was justified. I doubt her kids gave a damn!

KettrickenSmiled · 08/06/2022 11:50

Viviennemary · 08/06/2022 11:48

Most people acknowledge covering your ears is a rude gesture. But woman was still wrong to pull you up on it. So both a bit on the impolite side I would say.

Do they? I genuinely have never encountered a single person who found ear-covering to be "rude". It is a gesture of self-protection, nothing more.

DinoWoman · 08/06/2022 11:50

*Odd/rude

KettrickenSmiled · 08/06/2022 11:51

Boredsoentertainme · 08/06/2022 11:37

Also you say you were really annoyed, why were you annoyed? As she said, they were just kids.

Because - as she describes clearly, in her initial post - the noise was making her headache hurt more. Is that really so hard to understand?

Ponoka7 · 08/06/2022 11:53

I've seen older people do it and just assume that they have a condition were noise can actually be painful. Living with pain causes noise etc to be amplified. That's beside sensory issues. The woman needs a lesson in hidden disabilities. It would be the likes of her reaction that would make someone who has sensory think twice before going out.

Georgeskitchen · 08/06/2022 11:53

The woman is a dick. She should mind her own business and find something better to do.
I wouldn't have even done it discreetly !! there were making a racket, it sounded awful and you didn't want to listen to it
End of story

AmbushedByCake · 08/06/2022 11:54

If my kids were screeching and shrieking in the street to the extent it made someone feel the need to cover their ears, I'd be telling off my children not the person they had annoyed.

BogRollBOGOF · 08/06/2022 11:55

She was the rude one.

I'll cover my ears for shrieks as they're a very uncomfortable pitch that drills through my head.

I've a history of colds going to my ears and distorting sound rather unpleasantly.

It doesn't sound like the boys have been offended at all so the woman's thoughts were unneccesary.

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