AIBU to think I was not rude?

[supercalifragilicious]

School run this morning, I was walking back home after dropping DC at school. I am recovering from a cold and still not 100%, with a slight headache. I was walking past a group of boys who gave particularly loud screams and shrieks, so I held my ears because loud noises make my headache worse. I did try to hold my ears in a most unnoticeable way, lowering my head and just gently holding my fingertips at my ears, while holding my elbows to my body so they don't stick out! In other words, I wasn't trying to show off how annoyed I am, just rather minding my own business and trying to get past this group of boys quickly.

A woman then approached me (presumably one of the mums?) and said to me: "Your behaviour is really rude, they're just children you know!", and then stormed off before I could manage a reply. Obviously I wasn't going to shout anything after her but it did leave me annoyed being told off for nothing. I actually think it is her who was being rude, not me.

What do you think?

How on earth is it rude? If an ambulance goes past with sirens running is it “rude” to cover your ears then, too?

Think she was just a bit embarrassed at her situation and took it out on you so you wouldn’t draw anyone else’s attention to the screaming.

Do you typically walk past people with your hands over your ears if you think they are talking too loudly? Well I have honestly never seen anyone do this although o yo question nobody particularly taught me this. Do you not just keep walking, it would only be a couple of steps to be out of earshot? But crack on walking about with your hands over year ears, perhaps hold your nose too.

I would have thought you were a bit pathetic but I wouldn't have said anything to you.

Tell her to fuck off then she'll know what rude it.

JK.

I usually have my headphones on me for hearing my phone better and it's handsfree. That helps with background noise

Do you typically walk past people with your hands over your ears if you think they are talking too loudly?
No, & neither does OP. In fact it was so untypical for her that she posted about it here. And the kids were not "talking loudly" - they were screaming & shrieking.

Well I have honestly never seen anyone do this although o yo question nobody particularly taught me this.
Have you never seen somebody cover their ears because of a sudden loud noise? Really? Not seen it in a film, or read about it in a book? It's an entirely natural & normal human response.

Do you not just keep walking, it would only be a couple of steps to be out of earshot? But crack on walking about with your hands over year ears, perhaps hold your nose too.
If something was hurting my ears, I'd probably cover them.
Not sure how holding my nose would help with ear-pain, but at this stage I'm not expecting logic from this thread ...

Do they?
I think most probably acknowledge that an adult covering their ears is either in pain or suffers with some kind of auditory issue, or even has SN and has forgotten their ear defenders.

I certainly don't think most people see someone doing this and think they are rude.

Totally.

I live in a very noisy sociality and the screeching of the young kids drives me insane. No child here has ever been told to be quiet, or taught about small voices or inside voices. I avoid shopping at busy times as they're left to run riot. Everyone is fucking noisy where I live.

Blimey, how loud were they? That you actually covered your ears as you walked past?

If you were stood next to them for a prolonged time I could sort of understand it, but walking past someone noisy, whats that about 4-5 seconds? I'd of just thought you looked a bit odd. Or had a problem with your ears. Unless you actually made a show of sticking your fingers in them, how would she know you were covering them because of the noise?

The mother was ridiculous to say anything to you though. I'd just forget it, and be glad your kids are not that noisy.

OP can walk around the entire village with her fingers stuck in both ears and it would be none of anyone else’s business why.

The woman was rude and defensive.

So now women aren't allowed to counteract loud screams and shrieks by covering their ears for fear of offending young males?

This country is going to shit.

I'm really surprised that people think covering your ears while passing something very noisy in the street is rude. It might be rude if you did it in conversation with people you know, or at a private function, or visiting someone in their home or office.

But saving yourself from screeching children (who should be taught consideration for others) is not rude.

"Manners" are about consideration for others - so screeching noisy children in public, to the point where their noise intrudes on others' comfort - IS rude.

Why is it that all children playing on mumsnet, are either screeching or shrieking?
I've genuinely never heard the term to describe children noise outside of mumsnet.

No wonder its so difficult to be neurodiverse or chronically ill or disabled - OP putting her hands over her ears made her life easier and didnt impact anyone else so why the fuck would anyone think its rude? If the lights in a supermarket were flickering and setting off someone's epilepsy and they put dark glasses on indoors, is that rude? If excessive noise made an autistic neighbours life unbearable, if they installed soundproofing and the noisy neighbour saw the boxes because they were left out the front, would that be rude? Absolutely gobsmacked that in 2020 people are upholding bizarre baseless outdated ideas of 'rudeness' over adjustments for illness or neurodiversity.

Why on earth are people saying that covering your ears, to cut out a screaming racket that kids are making in the street, is rude? Rude to children to not want to hear their excessive noise?? Why should we tolerate bad behaviour by kids? It used to be thought rude for children to make obnoxious noise in public, not rude for adults to object to it.

There's always one person, you know. Just ignore her. I would think you possibly have ear infection and struggling with pain, but hey ho. You weren't rude.

Not rude at all. The woman shouldn't be so quick to assume you were making a point.

I mean, there are different questions being asked here.

Is it rude to put your hands over your ears so that others can see you think they’re being unbearably loud? Yes, it’s a bit rude and not a societal norm.

Were you unreasonable to cover your ears? No. You’re perfectly entitled to cover your ears if the noise was uncomfortable.

Was the woman right to have a go at you for covering your ears? No. It’s none of her business what you do with your ears. Tell her to piss off.

As a disclaimer, I’m autistic and struggle with noise regularly. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with covering your ears but no, it’s not a “polite” reaction to loud children. Covering your ears in response to sound generated from an inanimate object is not viewed the same way by society. That’s not rude. It’s only when that reaction is in response to noise made deliberately by another human that it’s normally considered to be an impolite response. What can I say - humans are weird 🤷‍♀️😂

That’s horribly judgemental and, frankly, ableist. I wear Loop earplugs to mitigate noise but if I forget them for whatever reason, I have a noticeable reaction to loud noises. I’m not being deliberately rude, passive-aggressive or performative, I’m just autistic and loud noises are painful to me so my body reacts before I can stop it.

SN or not, it’s not ‘pathetic’ for anyone to protect themselves from something that hurts them.

@KettrickenSmiled exactly. What’s the need to be discreet?!

No you weren't rude but she was.

What? Of course you weren't rude! Most people would have assumed you were trying to listen to something important on your headphones.

You covered your ears which is better than telling the boys to be quiet when they’re in an open space outside. The mum is right and they weren’t doing anything wrong, but neither were you really. If you’d have told them to keep their voices down, then you would have been in the wrong but you just minded your own business and carried on which was right.