To dislike people saying this about my son all the time?

[Pinkypolkadot]

“He’s going to be a heartbreaker when he’s older”

or

”He’ll break some hearts when he grows up”

I know they’re meant to be nice sentiments and compliments, but I really find it uncomfortable.

Why is it a good thing that he would break someone’s heart? I’m also autistic so I struggle with these kinds of phrases.

yes, that's probably the best come back. And will hopefully get that person to stop saying it.

It means he's handsome. YABVU.

It means that he's adorable. That's all they mean by it, nothing weird.

My DS gets this, has done since a baby he's 7 now, seems people have upped the anti to also calling him "handsome boy" as a nickname at sporting clubs...the child's ego is going to explode 😂🤦🏻‍♀️

I also get "my god he's the most beautiful child" "he's an absolute stunner" "those gold curls and blue eyes could sink a ship of women"

I give up...😂🤷🏻‍♀️ I just smile and go "yeah". Adopt a shrug and a polite smile OP lol.

Clearly. I saw the kinds underneath and my eyes put that into the sentence.

Apologies.

It just means he's good looking. I wouldn't think about it any more deeply. Unless he gets this kind of comment very often, it's unlikely to make much difference to him.

I know what glass ceiling means/is, but it makes no sense to me and is just a really fucking stupid phrase.

<sorry to derail thread>

I don't think it's that deep really

So basically Elvis Presley sorta charm.

Yes “breaking the glass ceiling” is particularly bad because I immediately see a lot of broken glass and a head injury. If ND people coined the phrases it would be something like “tough career membrane”. 🙂

They’re trying to give you a compliment that your son is handsome. Which is nice in one way but weird in another as they’re applying future sexual attractiveness to a child, if that’s the right way of terming it.

It’s just a term. Try and move forward.

I am autistic, as is my son. Spent 15 minutes in conversation with him the other day as he refused to let me buy him a t-shirt with a seagull on a bicycle on it… “that’s just not possible, seagulls don’t do that”….

Things ND do are as weird to NT… I think we just have to accept the reciprocal weirdness.

Good god is this really a big deal

I dislike that phrase as well. I don't get the appeal or purpose of that kind of remark over many other ways to compliment a kid.

It's true that it's very common and most likely they're trying to be nice, but I'm not as sure it's as harmless as others that this is viewed as normal by so many. I agree 'I hope not' and moving on is probably the best way to handle those types, but if it keeps happening as he gets older, having open conversations on it can help if it ever turns into something far less kindly meant.

My teenage son was sexually harassed and stalked by a pair of adult women when he was in Y10. They used similar language when challenged - that he's such a heartbreaker, he must have so many girl pining for him, he should take it as a compliment, along remarks about his size. I'm grateful that his school helped to deal with it quickly and didn't show any of the attitude Surfbox has experienced, but because he'd heard remarks like that for so long, we had to help him for a while to help him see that he wasn't unreasonable to be scared or to hide from them and that he was right to ask for help for something that was seemingly 'normal'.

Loving the completely unsubtle humble bragging by some in this thread!

@Pinkypolkadot

It's difficult to process these types of comments when you're a literal thinker.

It took me a long time to realise that when someone said break a leg before a presentation that they didn't actually want me to break my leg during my presentation.

My son gets it too. Tbh yeah he's beautiful. Don't know where he gets it from! I reply "nah, he's gonna be a nice boy." I also say "don't say that, he's a baby." At the weirder stuff.

It just means he’s cute and they imagine he will grow up into a handsome adult.

It’s meant to mean people will fall in love with him based on his appearance and he will unintentionally break their heart when the feelings aren’t reciprocated.

It means he is good looking.

A lot of people will be attracted to him but he won't be attracted to them all so some of them will be disappointed (I.e. heart broken) if he doesn't feel the same about them. No more, no less. It's a silly compliment.

Why? People always say babies and small children are good looking, whether they are or not. What else are you they going to compliment in small children they don’t know? Not that it should be necessary but apparently it is. 🤷🏻‍♀️

*My DS gets this, has done since a baby he's 7 now, seems people have upped the anti to also calling him "handsome boy" as a nickname at sporting clubs...the child's ego is going to explode 😂🤦🏻‍♀️

I also get "my god he's the most beautiful child" "he's an absolute stunner" "those gold curls and blue eyes could sink a ship of women"

I give up...😂🤷🏻‍♀️ I just smile and go "yeah". Adopt a shrug and a polite smile OP lol*

my point exactly in that inappropriate attitudes and comments by women against males are rarely taken as seriously if reverse gender.If men were making these comments about your daughter who was 7 you'd not be using a laughing emoji.

I know what you mean, and I see OPs point, but I think maybe there's a slight taboo against saying a child is 'cute' or handsome or whatever directly. So this is seen as a polite, indirect way of saying the same thing?

I don't like it either, OP. I prefer my son's Nanna just going on about how beautiful he is. (He is).

NTs say some weird shit, OP.
😁 It's very confusing and totally illogical I agree but they genuinely don't mean any harm by it and they don't think it's a bad thing.
I'd say try to be kind and remember that they think differently to us and what they say is often quite different to what they mean.

People are trying to be kind saying the kid is cute but is a bit strange really for little ones. Thing is doesn't always follow, some lose their cuteness as they get older and some are ugly ducklings who blossom later so it doesn't mean anything really.

I remember an ex saying this about the daughter of his cousin's new partner. It massively gave me the ick - partly because he'd been so much older than I was when we went out (in his twenties while I was in my late teens).

I can see why it would make you feel uncomfortable (even if kindly meant).

Crikey …what a batshit world we live in where we have to overthink and analyse everything that comes out of our mouth in case someone’s offended!!
Oh sorry…using the expression batshit will probably have offended someone!