To dislike people saying this about my son all the time?

[Pinkypolkadot]

“He’s going to be a heartbreaker when he’s older”

or

”He’ll break some hearts when he grows up”

I know they’re meant to be nice sentiments and compliments, but I really find it uncomfortable.

Why is it a good thing that he would break someone’s heart? I’m also autistic so I struggle with these kinds of phrases.

Why is it a good thing that he would break someone’s heart? I’m also autistic so I struggle with these kinds of phrases.

It's one of those metaphors that says one thing but actually means another. It only means he is classically good looking, cute, attractive. Nothing more. It doesn't mean he will hurt people.

I have brain wranglings with phrases like "keep your eyes peeled" and "his eyes slid down the front of her dress" as I always visualise it, even though I know it's not meant to be thus and the meaning is different. "Ripped out" of kitchens and bathrooms is another, ripping out makes me think of fingernails being ripped which is unpleasant but obviously not what was intended! It's one of the difficult sides of having a literal mind unfortunately.

I hear you OP. I know it's a thing people say but I think it's weird too. I wouldn't want my son to be a heartbreaker, I'd want him to grow up and be in a loving committed relationship irrespective of how good looking he is.

People sometimes say it’s out my boys. I hate it. It just teaches them to think about their looks. And its never said about both at the same time. Always one or the other, with the other tacked on as an after thought. I think it’s intrusive and disrespectful. Imagine saying to someone about their grown child ‘ooh they’re good looking’ as if they weren’t there

I’m ND, and that one clangs in my brain a bit too, as idiomatic language sometimes does. I think it sounds vaguely violent and/or critical of the child to a literal mind, at least in the imagery. It’s distracting in the same way “at the end of the day” or “I turned around and said..,” is distracting from the meaning and moving the focus to something meaningless.

However, it’s just an expression and basically means “good looking kid”, so best just to put it in your internal glossary of batshit expressions and accept it on the spirit it is intended.

Read better and then maybe apologise to OP...

You’re being very unreasonable, people are being nice about your child!

"I used to work in a mostly female Maths department in a secondary school as a teaching assistant a few years ago and the women would always comment on the yr7-11 boys looks. ''He is gorgeous...you are so lucky he is in your class,I bewt you have up the front so you can see him....he has sexy eyes...he is such a physically beautiful boy, he will attract some girls...''

Comments like those are a safeguarding concern and should be reported as such. Also if you didn't report them yourself and someone else did your being present and doing nothing, would put you at risk of being in trouble yourself.

Then you're a coward complicit in that behaviour. Saying those comments is outrageous as is doing nothing as a bystander.

Yes that describes it exactly. Your (literal, ND) brain goes to the literal meaning.

EXH always used to say “break down” when he meant “dismantle”, (as in collapse a pasting table or gazebo), which I appreciate probably sounds fine to a NT mind but sounded horribly destructive to me. Used to drive me mad,

That’s the second (or more?) expression you’ve explained. I don’t think OP, or any of us, actually need the definitions. PP specifically said glass ceiling had been explained to her several times. She’s not stupid. She’s wrestling with the idiomatic language and the imagery. Are you ND yourself? You’re reminding me of the sixth former who was assigned to help our dyslexic sixth form colleague and decided shouting words at her slowly would help.

It just means he's cute, I don't think anyone's suggesting he'll physically rip out people's hearts and crush them.

OP, I am not ND and I still wince at that phrase. I know it's 'meant well' but really, do people want their son to break girls' hearts? Yuk.
I have girls so funnily enough that phrase was not bandied about to them. Flip, girls can be heartbreakers too. (not that I wanted it to be said to my children).
It feels like a very outdated phrase and hopefully as people become more aware of their speech, it was be phased out.

They do only mean he's good looking. It's just that we don't have many words for that, for young boys.

Re glass ceiling it relies on the concept of climbing the hierarchy or rising through the ranks being like physically ascending to higher levels, further from the ground.

It’s meant to be a compliment. It’s a non issue for me. I’ve had people say it all the time about my girls, always women who said it though

I get you, I hate it too. Why not just say he's beautiful? Instead you're putting all sort of insinuations out there. I also hate the word spoilt for kids, like they're gone off veg. I use it myself but when you think about it it's an awful expression especially for a child.

I really hate this phrase. I know what it means, but there's so many ways to say the same thing without equating good looks with playboy behaviour!

I also struggle with metaphors and figures of speech in general (one reason my literature degree was bloody hard work), although I have no diagnosis of any kind of neurodivergency. But some are harder to get my head around than others and this is one I really don't like.

I mean a teacher slavering over teen boys is a totally different kettle of fish to someone saying ‘aww what a heartbreaker’ about a baby. Heartbreaker is just a word for good-looking/cute. If there are actually teachers you work with making these comments frequently then you should have reported them for their inappropriate comments.

I’m all for not continuing these silly types of phrase and have frequently corrected people desperate to label my kids’ friends as ‘little boyfriend/girlfriend’ because I think it’s ridiculous but someone calling a baby a heartbreaker is really nothing to worry about in my opinion.

Ok, it just means he is strikingly good looking.
That is all!

I get what you mean op. They are just trying to be nice but it comes off weird sometimes.

I was told my baby daughter would be a “ladykiller” when she’s older😅hey maybe she will who knows??

And it is not equal to him being a playboy!
It means he is cute/ good looking enough to turn many heads. Only one or a few will actually be corresponded, so the rest get a "heartache/ broken heart"

It's just an expression that means he's gorgeous. Don't overthink it.

Just laugh it off and say "oh I hope not". It's an old fashioned compliment but they mean well.

Can´t get uptight about this. I used that phrase about my cousin, years ago when he was a toddler. Just means he is good looking. Full stop.