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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours from hell.

212 replies

Taurini · 08/06/2022 09:11

Long post sorry.
So I've been living here a few years now.. I chose this property due to health reasons and it being close to my childrens school.
After being here a a while I noticed fag ends all over the front garden and back garden (gate always locked) near our fence in-between mine and my neighbours property, I thought the people who lived here must have smoked so I cleaned them all up.. a month or so later loads more appeared in the same places.. and a dog poo bag right outside my door.. It was full blown lockdown.. we had no visitors since we moved in and none of our household smoke, my partner hates smoking and our kids were still I'm primary school so it wasn't them.
But my neighbours and their kids smoke and have dogs.
I vented to someone on the street about my frustrations like a fool.. and they told my neighbours.. my neighbours came banging on my door telling me they've heard I've been slagging them off and that if I have a problem I should say it to their fcking face.. they ain't fcking tramps and that if I know what is good for me I will shut my f*cking mouth...
They breed dogs and leave weeks worth of poop in their back garden then hose it away.. they don't train them, leave them inside the house whilst they work and just boot them outside when they're home.. they breed them and breed them for money then eventually sell the dog they bred from and get another.
I've had people do work on my house come up to me and tell me they can hear the neighbours hitting and yelling at the dogs.. as a dog person it breaks my heart.
My dog is a big chicken and when their dogs bark he starts barking in response and won't do his business.. I cant leave him out to play because if their dogs aren't out and the kids are and they hear him they start making barking noises at him to set him off..
I have a baby and have a set amount of time I can take him out supervised and they still do whatever they can to set him off..
They have off road bikes that they drive around the streets and parks with that are ridiculously loud and shoot down the path outside there house which is next to my front door (my fence decides their path from ours)
This wakes my baby and sometimes sets my dog off barking because it's so loud.
They know this.. and have now started just sitting on their bikes next to their front door (across from my front door) just revving the engines...
They also use our fence to pull themselves up onto their bins to jump up and down on their bins to crush down the rubbish, which smashes my fence back and forth which bangs and sets my dog off barking.. its also breaking my fence..
If the sun is shining they all sit outside drinking and smoking together swearing and shouting, even the kids in secondary school are sat drinking cans of beer and smoking with them. Their youngest sits drinking vkd with them.
They talk about all the drugs they take and crimes they commit with eachother.. its shocking if I'm honest.
Theyre so loud that when it's hot I have to shut the windows in my childrens bedroom or they can't sleep..
You'd think I would get a break when they're at work and school but one of their lads from secondary school skips school most days with his friends and sit out revving their bikes and barking at my dog to set him off and waking my baby.
I put cctv all over my property to hopefully discourage them but it hasn't.
I've told my partner I want to rehome our dog.. I'm devastated to say it but I cant cope..him and the children aren't happy with me.. but I don't know what else to do, we can't move as we have to be close to school due to my health.
I'm not sure who I could report my neighbours to, i think things would escalate if i did.
The lad who skips school and revs the bike outside my door has been in trouble with the police for armed robbery and criminal damage but they can't do anything because he's too young.
I honestly don't know what to do anymore.. even if I rehome my dog the revving of the bikes alone wakes up my baby..
Has anyone else been through anything similar who can give advice?
I'm getting close to having a break down here..
I feel like they can just break the law, treat my property however they wish and treat us like crap and we have no rights whatsoever 😩

OP posts:
VK456 · 09/06/2022 21:35

I’m so sorry for your situation and really hope that you find a solution very soon.
I despise those people who are anti-social, have no respect and just make other people’s lives so miserable. There is so much broken in our society today. The root causes need grubbing out and dealt with once and for all.

Roxy69 · 09/06/2022 21:40

Move. Don't have a board up either, don't let them know what is going on. If you cause any problems by reporting them you'll have to declare that to any buyers I think. It's a vile situation and I really hope you can find a solution. Surely your mental health is more important than being opposite a school. Good luck.

PurpleandPlatinum · 09/06/2022 21:40

If you do move OP please do tell the buyers, otherwise you are just condemning them to the same suffering you have now.
must an awful situation.

Katya213 · 09/06/2022 21:47

You can go on and on and on but you’re only option is to move or put up with it.

Mygosh · 09/06/2022 21:47

Definitely keep your dog and move asap. My sister in law had neighbours who assaulted her on her own property and smashed her windows...the police and council did nothing. Your home sounds like it's in a popular area near a school so it will sell, even if you make a small loss, just put it on the market tomorrow. God knows how you've tolerated this for so long, I really feel for you. Is it possible for you to stay with family or friends for a for months until you sell? Just for your own sanity?

HangingOver · 09/06/2022 21:55

I adjust myself socially rather than alienating them eg become a little more ‘coarse’

This sounds so cringe. Like when posh men but on fake cockney accents when talking to plumbers.

LondonMrsA · 09/06/2022 21:59

Your original post made my heart sink.
It sounds like Hell on Earth.
The RSPCA will be very interested.
I’m so sorry you are experiencing this misery.

Lizzy53 · 09/06/2022 22:05

Taurini · 08/06/2022 09:11

Long post sorry.
So I've been living here a few years now.. I chose this property due to health reasons and it being close to my childrens school.
After being here a a while I noticed fag ends all over the front garden and back garden (gate always locked) near our fence in-between mine and my neighbours property, I thought the people who lived here must have smoked so I cleaned them all up.. a month or so later loads more appeared in the same places.. and a dog poo bag right outside my door.. It was full blown lockdown.. we had no visitors since we moved in and none of our household smoke, my partner hates smoking and our kids were still I'm primary school so it wasn't them.
But my neighbours and their kids smoke and have dogs.
I vented to someone on the street about my frustrations like a fool.. and they told my neighbours.. my neighbours came banging on my door telling me they've heard I've been slagging them off and that if I have a problem I should say it to their fcking face.. they ain't fcking tramps and that if I know what is good for me I will shut my f*cking mouth...
They breed dogs and leave weeks worth of poop in their back garden then hose it away.. they don't train them, leave them inside the house whilst they work and just boot them outside when they're home.. they breed them and breed them for money then eventually sell the dog they bred from and get another.
I've had people do work on my house come up to me and tell me they can hear the neighbours hitting and yelling at the dogs.. as a dog person it breaks my heart.
My dog is a big chicken and when their dogs bark he starts barking in response and won't do his business.. I cant leave him out to play because if their dogs aren't out and the kids are and they hear him they start making barking noises at him to set him off..
I have a baby and have a set amount of time I can take him out supervised and they still do whatever they can to set him off..
They have off road bikes that they drive around the streets and parks with that are ridiculously loud and shoot down the path outside there house which is next to my front door (my fence decides their path from ours)
This wakes my baby and sometimes sets my dog off barking because it's so loud.
They know this.. and have now started just sitting on their bikes next to their front door (across from my front door) just revving the engines...
They also use our fence to pull themselves up onto their bins to jump up and down on their bins to crush down the rubbish, which smashes my fence back and forth which bangs and sets my dog off barking.. its also breaking my fence..
If the sun is shining they all sit outside drinking and smoking together swearing and shouting, even the kids in secondary school are sat drinking cans of beer and smoking with them. Their youngest sits drinking vkd with them.
They talk about all the drugs they take and crimes they commit with eachother.. its shocking if I'm honest.
Theyre so loud that when it's hot I have to shut the windows in my childrens bedroom or they can't sleep..
You'd think I would get a break when they're at work and school but one of their lads from secondary school skips school most days with his friends and sit out revving their bikes and barking at my dog to set him off and waking my baby.
I put cctv all over my property to hopefully discourage them but it hasn't.
I've told my partner I want to rehome our dog.. I'm devastated to say it but I cant cope..him and the children aren't happy with me.. but I don't know what else to do, we can't move as we have to be close to school due to my health.
I'm not sure who I could report my neighbours to, i think things would escalate if i did.
The lad who skips school and revs the bike outside my door has been in trouble with the police for armed robbery and criminal damage but they can't do anything because he's too young.
I honestly don't know what to do anymore.. even if I rehome my dog the revving of the bikes alone wakes up my baby..
Has anyone else been through anything similar who can give advice?
I'm getting close to having a break down here..
I feel like they can just break the law, treat my property however they wish and treat us like crap and we have no rights whatsoever 😩

What a nightmare!!! Agree that keeping logs and photographing evidence is vital.theres Puppies telephone.Benefits fraudline. on 0800 788887.Also puppy breeders benefits fraud 0800 854440. But not so easy to move is it. Some fantastic advice on Mumsnet here from lots of people.they are vile people.so sorry for you

Bleedinghearts · 09/06/2022 22:08

This sounds horrendous. They won’t change- just cut your losses and move. It’ll be worth it in the end.

Original poster
Taurini · 09/06/2022 22:12

The son who is skipping school and commiting crimes is definitely older than 10 years, he's in secondary school and possibly in year 10 or 11 I'm not sure exactly.
But he's literally getting away with all sorts, he just apologises to the police and they let it slide.
I know for sure when we moved here during lock down they were dealing, cars would pull up and honk their horn and someone would go out their house, lean in through the car window and fist bump (exchange) and talk for less than 2 minutes (which they shouldn't have been because of the covid lock down) then they'd drive off.
If someone didn't come out when they honked then the person got out the car and walked into their house and 2 mins later walked out and drove off.
As soon as I put a doorbell camera up (my door faces there door on the side of our houses) it stopped.
They seem to just go out for 10 min drives about 8 times a day every day making it look like they're "shopping" now.
So at least there's less dodgy people around.
I wanted to report it right away but my partner advised me against it because if they've been doing it for a while and all of a sudden now we moved in someone reports them they'd know it was us.
I'm worried what I say incase they stumble on this board tbh..
I'm just shocked that people can be this way.. as someone who's been brought up to be respectful and courteous etc.. all of it makes my skin crawl..

OP posts:
Original poster
Taurini · 09/06/2022 22:14

I'm so sorry for what you're going through, it's awful.

OP posts:
Mfsf · 09/06/2022 22:14

Personally I would move if you could and then report non stop . I bet they don’t have a license to breed the dogs either .

Hagiography · 09/06/2022 22:15

OP, that sounds absolutely awful. It will change. It won't last forever. You do have options.

Just sending you support. Flowers

Sallypally0 · 09/06/2022 22:19

Report them to both the planning and licensing teams at the local government council. I am sure they need permissions for the breeding dogs and they sound like chavs so will not have got permisson

NannaKaren · 09/06/2022 22:23

Bloody heck - they are monsters - yes move bless you xxx

Sallypally0 · 09/06/2022 22:24

@user75

This happened to me. It made me so unwell I was almost hospitalised on 3 occasions. Take the hit and move. I reported them and followed every official route and all it did was enable them to bully me further - using agencies to help them. I had social services investigating various lies, the Police were repeatedly called and despite telling me "We know it's them not you" I was threatened with being charged with a hate crime based on no evidence and we had full video evidence of these 'vulnerable disabled people' attacking DH, damaging my car, trying to poison my cat and staging a fraudulent insurance claim. The police have no interest in tackling these highly antisocial people. We gave full disclosure to the woman who bought the house and she managed to make them move by taking a very different approach from day

Please tell us what the approach was in case any of us need it in the future.

Angrywife · 09/06/2022 22:27

Wish I had some advice that would work for you but we ended up moving after 4yrs of similar made me ill. I became agoraphobic and couldn't leave the house on my own, but once I did leave the house I was too scared to return.
My husband was dead set against moving too. In the end I told him I was going and it was up to him if he came with me. He came and we're much happier now.

What makes you think the social aren't involved? They most probably are but you wouldn't know and why should you.

DuesToTheDirt · 09/06/2022 22:34

PurpleandPlatinum · 09/06/2022 21:40

If you do move OP please do tell the buyers, otherwise you are just condemning them to the same suffering you have now.
must an awful situation.

We were in this situation (though our neighbours were nowhere near as horrendous as OPs). I'm sure some people will hate me for saying this, but we certainly didn't tell prospective buyers - why would we? Probably no one would have bought our place. And if they did, we might have lost out financially - why should we have lost money for something that wasn't our fault at all?

DuesToTheDirt · 09/06/2022 22:36

Oh, and we'd had a free 15 minutes with a lawyer, who basically said to move, there was nothing else we could do.

StoneofDestiny · 09/06/2022 22:38

Even if you get sufficient interest from the police, your local councillor or MP, the process of shifting feral neighbours is lengthy (years). That will take a toll on your health and make it impossible to sell your house as you have declare a neighbourhood dispute.
The only solution is to move - you won't change them or civilise them.
There must be other neighbourhoods that meet your criteria.

TheLadyDIdGood · 09/06/2022 22:43

Someone on another nightmare neighbour thread suggested reporting unsafe driver to DVLA for medical fitness to drive. Apparently, the driver has to prove that they're medically fit to drive otherwise they will lose their licence. I suppose any illegal substances will be picked up.

contact.dvla.gov.uk/driver/capture_transaction_type?transaction_type_id=drivers_medical?locale=en

Hmm1234 · 09/06/2022 22:44

report to the council sounds more like harassment as they’re antagonising you. That estate sounds awful and typical of some documentary that belongs on channel 5

TheLadyDIdGood · 09/06/2022 22:47

DuesToTheDirt · 09/06/2022 22:34

We were in this situation (though our neighbours were nowhere near as horrendous as OPs). I'm sure some people will hate me for saying this, but we certainly didn't tell prospective buyers - why would we? Probably no one would have bought our place. And if they did, we might have lost out financially - why should we have lost money for something that wasn't our fault at all?

Show quote history

Yes but you've dumped a poor unsuspecting person in a shit situation through no fault of their own. They've lost money because of buying your house with neighbours from hell.

hopezibah1 · 09/06/2022 22:56

This sounds incredibly similar to our situation. 20 years in our lovely house in a wonderful neighbourhood but since our current neighbours moved in, (and do similar to a lot of the things you mention) things just haven't been the same. We did get the police involved and the local PCSO was great. I would definitely report to RSPCA too and also put in reports about all their antisocial behaviour via crimestoppers as you can do that anonymously. Local council might also be able to give you advice - private tennants can also be evicted but not sure about if they own their own home. Keep a log of everything - along with evidence - photos and times of incidents etc. Police can be discreet with complaints if you tell them your worries about retaliation. I know it could go either way if you get the police involved as in they might react worse but it might calm down too if they get a warning. In our case, by some miracle, things improved after a couple of years. We put a fence up in the front and a stronger bigger fence at the back along with CCTV too and thankfully not had any issues in a long time now so really hope things settle down for you too. Like you, we didn't want to move. Really feel for you.

00kitty · 09/06/2022 23:08

when did you move in? Id be very tempted to go back to your solicitor who dealt with sale and attempt to sue ex owner of property they should have declared the asb from neighbours on the sale form.

I also can’t help but wonder when you viewed the property did you not notice the caravan, 5 cars and trailer and did that not set off alarm bells?

other than that only advice is to report to asb team at council, police, social services and rspca and dog warden at council.
you could paint that sticky tar stuff on top of the fence to stop them using your fence to squash their rubbish? Or try talking to them (but to be fair that sounds like it will fall on deaf ears)

Why is your husband not bothered by it at all? Does he not hear the off road bikes and dogs etc? Is the noise mainly 9-5 hours?