Neighbours from hell.

[Taurini]

Long post sorry.
So I've been living here a few years now.. I chose this property due to health reasons and it being close to my childrens school.
After being here a a while I noticed fag ends all over the front garden and back garden (gate always locked) near our fence in-between mine and my neighbours property, I thought the people who lived here must have smoked so I cleaned them all up.. a month or so later loads more appeared in the same places.. and a dog poo bag right outside my door.. It was full blown lockdown.. we had no visitors since we moved in and none of our household smoke, my partner hates smoking and our kids were still I'm primary school so it wasn't them.
But my neighbours and their kids smoke and have dogs.
I vented to someone on the street about my frustrations like a fool.. and they told my neighbours.. my neighbours came banging on my door telling me they've heard I've been slagging them off and that if I have a problem I should say it to their fcking face.. they ain't fcking tramps and that if I know what is good for me I will shut my f*cking mouth...
They breed dogs and leave weeks worth of poop in their back garden then hose it away.. they don't train them, leave them inside the house whilst they work and just boot them outside when they're home.. they breed them and breed them for money then eventually sell the dog they bred from and get another.
I've had people do work on my house come up to me and tell me they can hear the neighbours hitting and yelling at the dogs.. as a dog person it breaks my heart.
My dog is a big chicken and when their dogs bark he starts barking in response and won't do his business.. I cant leave him out to play because if their dogs aren't out and the kids are and they hear him they start making barking noises at him to set him off..
I have a baby and have a set amount of time I can take him out supervised and they still do whatever they can to set him off..
They have off road bikes that they drive around the streets and parks with that are ridiculously loud and shoot down the path outside there house which is next to my front door (my fence decides their path from ours)
This wakes my baby and sometimes sets my dog off barking because it's so loud.
They know this.. and have now started just sitting on their bikes next to their front door (across from my front door) just revving the engines...
They also use our fence to pull themselves up onto their bins to jump up and down on their bins to crush down the rubbish, which smashes my fence back and forth which bangs and sets my dog off barking.. its also breaking my fence..
If the sun is shining they all sit outside drinking and smoking together swearing and shouting, even the kids in secondary school are sat drinking cans of beer and smoking with them. Their youngest sits drinking vkd with them.
They talk about all the drugs they take and crimes they commit with eachother.. its shocking if I'm honest.
Theyre so loud that when it's hot I have to shut the windows in my childrens bedroom or they can't sleep..
You'd think I would get a break when they're at work and school but one of their lads from secondary school skips school most days with his friends and sit out revving their bikes and barking at my dog to set him off and waking my baby.
I put cctv all over my property to hopefully discourage them but it hasn't.
I've told my partner I want to rehome our dog.. I'm devastated to say it but I cant cope..him and the children aren't happy with me.. but I don't know what else to do, we can't move as we have to be close to school due to my health.
I'm not sure who I could report my neighbours to, i think things would escalate if i did.
The lad who skips school and revs the bike outside my door has been in trouble with the police for armed robbery and criminal damage but they can't do anything because he's too young.
I honestly don't know what to do anymore.. even if I rehome my dog the revving of the bikes alone wakes up my baby..
Has anyone else been through anything similar who can give advice?
I'm getting close to having a break down here..
I feel like they can just break the law, treat my property however they wish and treat us like crap and we have no rights whatsoever 😩

Seriously. Get estate agents round to give you a value and start looking for somewhere else.
They ain't going to change. You can't make people act in a civil manner.

Probably unpopular and not a path you fancy going down but have you tried befriending them?? That’s what I’ve always done if I had dodgy neighbours - and I’ve had a few over the years - drug-dealers, ‘problem families’ etc - and also a single parent. I adjust myself socially rather than alienating them eg become a little more ‘coarse’. I’m a right chameleon! I do it instantly on trains etc! Befriend the drunken men and have a laugh with them etc. You can’t change them but you can reframe how you feel about them. If you get them onside you’ll feel less threatened by them. As they say ‘I’d rather having them in my tent pissing out…’

Ultimately, you can’t change them or get rid of them so how about a more pragmatic approach.

Has anybody else done this??

Sorry op, they sound like absolute scumbags
💐

I have very little respect for people who are abusive towards animals, so no I would not ‘befriend’ them. Befriending them also runs the risk that you’re basically accepting their behaviour.

@Dontfuckingsaycheese - I was actually going to suggest something similar as an 'alternative' approach and it's definitely something that can work in certain situations. Just based on what the OP has said, her relationship with the neighbours is pretty badly damaged but I guess the OP knows best whether the neighbours might be a bit responsive to befriending.

I act like a chameleon all the time socially but never tried it with neighbours 😅

There's no way I could befriend people like that, everything they are/do makes my skin crawl, as someone who would never hurt an animal for my own benefit, as someone who wouldn't dream of doing anything to my neighbours that might affect them.. I even ask the nice neighbour I'm attached to before cutting back their trees because even though I know its my right to do so I wouldn't want to ever do anything to upset someone..
So people who do the things they do infuriate me.. why should they get away with damaging my property? Why should they get away with purposely antagonising my dog? Why should they get away with waking my baby?
I have no idea if others have problems with them as I don't dare talk about it to anyone since that other neighbour told them about the dog poo.
My family are completely against the idea of moving.
So I'm stuck.
I was just wondering if I had any legal grounds or anything but because we both own our properties I guess I just have to put up with it.

What exactly are you suggesting? That OP mugs a granny in order to get some kudos with her NDN and endear herself to them?!

Here's the thing. If you report them, they will take offence and your situation may become even worse. Then, if you do eventually decide to move, the fact that neighbours have been reported will be on record somewhere, and may potentially be disclosed to prospective buyers, thus making your house unsaleable. Just saying ....

You can find out who owns the house by going on the land registry website and paying £3 for the records. Do that anyway as it means you are taking some positive action. I too am going to suggest putting the house up for sale. All the time you are in this "I cant move" headspace you are perpetuating the situation. If you haven't made any formal complaints you don't have to declare it when selling and that puts you in a better position.

Sit down with your partner and discuss it this week. The market is buoyant, you could get out, get into a rental ASAP and then take it from there. This time when your kids are young is so important please don't spend any more years in hell with these arseholes next door.

It's not fair but you have to move.

They sound like the stereo typical scumbag family. I really feel for you. Its awful living next door to this. I would speak to the police/council in person just to get it all out and see what they suggest. It is not good for your own mental health.

however, perhaps you should look at selling up. The market is still moving fast and you could be out of there in 6 months

Not making a decision on it is making a decision - you have decided to stay
Personally I think you should sell. Don't put a board up, do it online only so they don't know anything. Rent somewhere near the school if you can afford it in the meantime.

I'd suggest renting your property out but the tenants will only eventually complain about the neighbours.

In an ideal world the police/rspca/council would deal with all this. The truth is they won't. Move. Honestly I've had it for 3 years and I can't sell my house as the neighbour dispute is ongoing. It's a living nightmare. Please think about moving.

i strongly advise you to sell up and move and for the love of god don’t involve the council , they will not be able to help you with this , it is a long and pointless process and you will have to declare it when you sell your property , which of course will put off 99% of buyers . I’ve had bad bad neighbours but nothing on this scale , this is no way to live . Nothing is worth this . Your house is not a home it’s a hell and I’m sorry it won’t get any better . Please find a way to move op , whatever it takes

If you can sell do, if not rent your house out and rent elsewhere perhaps?

Neighbour issues are long running and tedious, and impossible if they are criminally minded aggressive and also own their house so if you can move I would just do it.

Also agree don’t get a sale board up , you don’t have to . Try to arrange viewings for quieter times if at all possible . Don’t mention any of this shit show to the estate agent . Market is very strong and fast moving ,
just get out of there !

Oh OP I am so so sorry you're going through this.

I had a very similar situation, on maternity leave with new baby, just bought our house and next door were absolutely horrid. Very similar to you, drug dealing, riding around on dirt bikes, they even kept riding them up and down our driveway and telling me to fuck off whenever I told them to get off. Like you it would wake my baby up.

They were very obviously stealing bikes and cars too. They had a toddler, no idea how he'd not been removed from them tbh poor lad.

I like you was too scared to leave my house, they'd all congregate outside revving engines, smoking weed, shouting etc...

Weirdly they seemed terrified of my husband who'd had words with them before and would stop if he was in, the minute he went to work though and they knew it was just me they'd start again.

Even down to the dog which they'd leave locked in a bedroom upstairs howling all day and night.

I too was scared to report in case they knew it was me. Every single person on the street despised them.

I'm sorry I don't have the answers, we were very fortunate in that they suddenly got kicked out (they were renting). All their stuff was on the front garden one day (it rained as well which just felt like the best karma lol) and they were gone. We now have a lovely couple with two young kids next door who I get on really well with the mum.

I was ready to move and absolutely would have by now I'd they'd not left.

Someone on our street must have reported them though as the police came looking for them once they'd left.

Environmental health at the local authority still can act whether they are council tenants or not. Record the noise, every day, keep a diary of the damage and the ASB, and report EVERY criminal incident to 101, note in your diary every contact with the authorities too. The police will keep you anonymous. Also, report to RSPCA about the dogs, they're trying to cut down on breeding. You need proper evidence for the authorities to act.

“What exactly are you suggesting? That OP mugs a granny in order to get some kudos with her NDN and endear herself to them?!”

Of course not 🙄 OP is unwilling to move. Legal channels eg police/council complaints etc are unlikely to succeed but are likely to exacerbate the situation. What is the harm of going out, on a warm summer eve, when they’re there. You don’t need to take a can of Special Brew with you - a cup of coffee would do. Make polite convo - about anything. Anything at all. Admire their chairs. Anything! You don’t have to like, admire or respect them. Just appear pleasant! I’ve had neighbours in the past complaining about others calling the police on them etc. It should work - report the baddies and they’re taken away etc but we don’t live in a perfect world. If OP chooses to stay she is stuck with them. They’re not going anywhere. They live next door. This is a second-best option I reckon if OP is staying out.

staying put.

What the!! That was not intended!!

OP for your health - please move. You won't change people like this.

Found this... commonslibrary.parliament.uk/research-briefings/sn01012/

These suggestions do make me wonder if you've ever actually experienced anyone like this.

There was absolutely no way making polite conversation about their chairs or how they've done their hair that day would have made the tiniest bit of difference.

They were just absolutely horrible people, I'd have been laughed and leered at if I'd even attempted to approach them. Some people can't be nice unfortunately and it doesn't matter how many polite conversations or compliments you try to give them.